Wrap - $250 Million Bargain

1. Warner looks solid for mine. He is the bloke who would stay surely. When Chris Martin has your measure you have problems. NZ could have nailed us, but they appear to be incapable. The only side in world cricket whose lower order bat better than their top order. We are getting close too.

Ponting must stay, but how can your technique go so bad? Age only?

2. Watched the Sehwag 200 the other night. Brutal. Is there a world standard in boundary length? Surely this impacts on runs scored worldwide when countries are compared. Good to see grass in India these days. There was a time...

3. Donald on the cusp of a miracle to be top $$$ winner in Europe and USA in a season. Bank manager v happy.

4. Albert Pujols. Major League Baseball. From St Louis Cardinals to LA Angels. Is any player in a team sport deserving of $250 million US over ten years? (Or is this actually cheap?). Give us a view.

5. Good to see the most overrated AFL player since Fevola - Barry Hall - get into the ring. Maybe he will get some of his own back. A West Coast player or two will be hoping.

6. Arsenal are the form EPL team. Van Persie may shatter some of the big EPL goal scoring records.

7. A-League. back the draw and join Robbo in Hawaii. More goals required.

Wrap - B League and Axing Mates

1. Phil Hughes confirmed his poor state of mind - and attitude - at the end chasing 19 and giving up his wicket. The trap was set, he was dropped the previous ball and deserved what he got. Now for the axe, but can best mate Clarke deliver? Surely Warner stays. He has energy, great pace in the field and tremendous hands and bowls a lot like Warnie!!! He could be VERY handy. A couple of those shots with the red ball down the ground at the end were scintillating. His technique will be far better than Hughes' under pressure. He plays straight.

Clarke fabulous, but will never really be loved - until he marries, continues to shut up and starts having kids I suppose. Starc excellent. Pattinson superb. Mitchell Johnson may never play again. Cummins, Pattinson, Starc and Lyon. Get used to it. Siddle - the man who has not moved a ball since U/10's - will be gone soon too.

When do Hussey and Ponting go?

2. Where the hell is Bill Lawry? He is missed in the commentary box. The Twelfth Man (who should be on the Footy Show or free to air at some stage soon) will be hard at it in the studio no doubt.

3. Sydney FC. A great win by those FC's yesterday over the biggest hoax in Australian Sporting History - a team, The Brisbane Roar who had THIRTEEN (13) draws in their "unbeaten" run. Joke.

Concerned the A - League is playing at B league venues. What has happened?

4. Union. A fine win v Wales, but next week we will lose to Munster or someone. The inconsistency is a huge issue. Turner is an outstanding winger.

5. Motor Sport. The spectacle, the speed, the noise...some love it. Most would not know a Whincup from a winning cup. How do you make it more appealing? This vexed question will haunt them. The appeal to women would be very low for mine. Or maybe I should have phrased that last sentence differently.

6. Tennis. Davis Cup. The European domination of tennis looks to be never ending. It will be many moons before we see this cup again on our shores.

7. Danny Green. What sort of advice is this guy getting? Seems like a crafty and sensible bloke who was dead set on top in his mid week bout. Then he gets fancy when he should have been purely defensive - not grabbing/ holding, etc as they mostly all do - and loses his title. Vic Darchinyian also lost his bout today. Our boxing stocks are on the slide. Mundine will be next to fall. Shannon Taylor tries to top himself too. A tough game.

8. Darren Lehmann. Surely he will be snapped up soon by an International Cricket Team. Then Australia will miss out on one of the great tacticians and leaders of cricketers we are likely to ever produce. His performance with an unsettled QLD has been superb this season - in all forms of the game. Conversely, NSW is all over the shop. Picking new blokes, dropping them as soon. Saw that Steve Smith (ex Bankstown and opening bat for NSW) is selecting. He would engender no confidence in anyone, but himself. I don't see leaders in charge. I see ex-players.

Wrap - Snake Sharma

1. Well it didn't take long for that woeful side I published last week (Warner, Hughes, Khawaja, Clarke, Cooper (Watson), Bailey (Marsh), Wade (Paine), Siddle, Copeland, Cummins, Cutting/ Lyon) to nearly come true.

What has Copeland done? He has plummeted. Perhaps a sacrificial lamb from the selector takeover. At least Shizenhaus was overlooked (a world expert in 1/90's). Suddenly Ponting, Hussey and Haddin are set for the whole summer. Michael Beer and Steve Smith should have to play aginst each other until one of them lands a ball capable of getting a wicket.

Our issue is that we simply cannot bowl sides out. The Indians must be laughing hysterically. At least Cummins will be back for the Indians. Now there is a side that will crumble to nil when the old stars retire (VVS, Sachin, Dravid...). No Harby is a disappointment.

2. Greg 'Snake' Chalmers has done well. Real well. A chance for the Aussie Triple Crown.

3. Vettel just cruises to pole and then to victory. It has become a procession and a yawn. Interested to see Webber won a GP award for quick laps.

4. GWS get a squillion young blokes to kick start the club. Will get smashed early and if they can hang onto them all, they'll cash in. There are many dumb blokes in AFL and beyond wanting to argue with Sheedy. He is a master manipulator of the media and always gets the last say.

5. Barbarians games v Wallabies (and whoever else). What possible use are these and why do they exist - outside of IRB fundraisers? Ridiculous.

6. Paul Osborne sounds like a good sacking by the Eels. Quite the goose. Fitted in well at the Eels.

Wrap - Wagging The Dog

1. Test Cricket in Hobart - do they deserve it? Surely they need to establish themselves with better cred before dishing up their seaming - NEW ZEALAND - pitches. Usually there are blokes wandering in front of sight screens and dogs on the field.

The changing guard of Auatralian cricket will see Tassie banished, but they have wagged the dog for a long time (Ponting, Cooley, Cox, Dene Hills, Hifen (Shizen) haus, Paine, Krezja, Doherty, Geeves, et al).

2. Willie Mason, Sonny Bill, Quade Cooper. Is this lot the most boring in Australian sport? Surely yes. Throw in Stephanie Rice, Jana Pittman-Rawlinson (and whatever her name is this week), Matt Rogers and Anthony Mundine and you have Danny Weidler's phonebook. What a boring, whinging dinner party that would be.

3. Big Bash. I get the feeling it will soon fall in a heap. It is like a bad niteclub. Lights, fancy clothes, smoke, mirrors and it stinks to high heaven. The right way to go? Test cricket suddenly looks safer than ever.

What about calls for test selection when a bloke gets runs in 20/20? Rank stupidity.

4. Dave Warner. He stands to be the best cricketer in the modern game and a godfather of a new trend in world cricket. He may also be the first (only?) bloke to play in all three forms of the game at International level. H eis quite superb. He's the only one who has not got a CA contract. Joke.

Warnie a dead set rock star. Where's the Women's Weekly inside scoop story?

5. EPL - Chelsea look under pressure and a coach change will happen soon. Also, it is the sacking season in the A League. John Kosmina has made a comeback with Adelaide. Surely there is someone else. It just shows the lack of talent and knowledge in Australian domestic league soccer.

6. Geoff Ogilvy. A choke is the best description. Superb Saturday and horrible Sunday. Another one of the cranky golfers in Australia - see Allenby, Appleby, Norman, Baddley...

The Wrap - New Teams and Immortals

Boys,

1. Lockyer. An absolute genius really. Can anyone seriously say that Andrew Johns was better than him? Johns has a lot of media support, but Lockyer is simply better. He will be a deserved immortal. Hopefully no trashy biography emerges in retirement. His shot at goal at the end of the game was a shocker really. One of the worst ever. He is human.

2. Cricket. Pat Cummins a stunning debut. Johnson gone. Ponting gone. Haddin gone. Hussey...well still going OK, but for how much longer? Surely not long. He may need the brutal treatment. Our First Test team could very soon be (with Watson out):

Warner
Hughes
Khawaja
Clarke
Cooper (Watson)
Bailey (Marsh)
Wade (Paine)
Siddle
Copeland
Cummins
Cutting/ Lyon

Scary. Someone mentioned old Shizenhaus. Surely not.

Johnson has to go. He has done nothing for too long. I did notice that he was batting sensibly in the first innings. About time he smartened up his act.

3. Golf. President's Cup. Great to see Tiger living it up with the fanatics. Fred Couples seems to be a top bloke. The Shark even smiled. Our International team is a long way from cohesive. Much easier for the USA. Great to see blokes playing golf - and caring - even with no big pay cheque. Course looked hard, but patchy in parts too.

Allenby was our dud of the tournament for mine. Any other takers? Day had a shocker today.

4. Loved the Billy Dib celebration after he smashed his boxing opponent on the weekend. He could be a star.

5. Hard to get excited about a soccer team (Brisbane Roar) equalling the famed Roosters of the early 70's unbeaten record. Having five or six draws in the sequence makes it incomparable...even if they have scored in each game.

Wrap - Show Us Your Akhtar

1. Roebuck. What happened? I recall a violence/ boy controversy and allegations over a group of boarders or similar when he was in Zimbabwe a few years back. Apparently there were police discussions before the death (in the morning) and then when there is little detail given, there is something untoward. Remember Bob Woolmer. I suspect he could have had a revenge hit. Crime in South Africa is rampant. This includes crime against the game of cricket committed by Australia.

He did NOT die from writer's block as earlier reported.

2. I am staggered that Hussey - one of our best players recently - had such a poor test with bat, hands and attitude. How long can he keep playing? 40? It is time for some big decisions by Marsh, Bichel and Invers. Today is Hilditch's last day. Good riddance.

Sent a mid week first innings appraisal of Mitchell Johnson. He should be sent home immediately. Cummins in. Hughes should be sacked for Warner. Ponting needs to be dropped on his head and how long can Haddin continue? Has not got a run since Shoaid Akhtar had genital herpes. Wade or Paine to come in. I liked Ian Chappell's comment: "We lost WITH him...we as sure as hell can lose WITHOUT him". Siddle is a joke too. If he's our best we have problems. Copeland in. He actually moves it. Fancy facing Johnson who does nothing with the ball - and Siddle who does less. Easy if you are as talented as South Africa's top order.

Unfortunately, Michael Clarke will be soft and retain all these blokes. It is a bigger test of his steel than anything else.

3. Grant Hackett. Has he lost the plot? Needs to get back in the pool and stop being a brat. Westpac? Dolf, bad for the brand I'd say.

Good to see Thorpie coming eighth in the 100 metres dog paddle and underwater breath holding championships. Two bob swim meet.

4. Hasler. How about that charade? Suddenly it is all solved...cash talks. That and promises not to take key players. (Des will return to Brookie eventually). Never was going to work as predicted many moons back. Jim Dymock must feel good. Kris Keating is being shopped around, Jon Wright will be next. Parra lost nothing there. There will be some nervous Bulldogs as the broom is put through the joint.

5. England v Aussies in league should be a cracker. What does the Four Nations prove? Seems to be a fundraiser only for mine. Don't miss the game however, it will be a cracker.

6. Great golf on the weekend in Sydney. The best field we have seen here for some time. Chalmers winning it is a surprise, but confirms Australia's enduring glory in the world of golf. We have produced some gems over the years. Tiger looks ominous. The Shark up to his old rude tricks as normal. A knob in a big way. Who's he married to this tournament?

Wrap - When Too Many Tats Are Not Enough

The last time Johnson actually moved a ball back into a right hand batsman (that wasn't a wide) was last time they were in South Efrikka.

No doubt about that elite high performance manager, Troy Cooley. He made Andrew Flintoff (not our hopeless batting).

He has transformed Johnson into a mediocre underperformer. A bit like...um...himself...

In saying that, Johnson has done well against the numbnuts and the part timers in tour matches across the world.

A tatoo for every wide and short pitched delivery.

He wants to play Test Cricket. So they let him.

Wrap - Best Ever

1. Thorpie. Can anyone explain why he was doing breastroke and butterfly in a world cup meet? Sounds odd, even though he held nearly every junior record in NSW swimming in every stroke. Touretski looks like a Russian spy. Hard to trust!

2. Pakistani Matchfixers. The ICC are in trouble now that the News of The World has shut down. What a joke!

3. Braith Anasta's golf. Looks like his footy from this year. Can play but, terrible in the NSW Open.

4. Dave Warner. Great ton today in Shield. Should take Hughes' spot - even if he is Clarke's mate. Seems as though the new captain will come under immense pressure WHEN he starts to struggle. People in the press would love to preside over his demise.

5. Aussies in Great Britain -League. When did they last lose overseas. We always seem to produce when on their decks. 42,000 at Wembley is appalling...even if it sounds 'big' for rugby league.

6. Harry Kewell. Is he still playing? Over rated and over here.

7. Kelly Slater. 11 world titles, but wait...some bloke in his clapped out Kombi has been too stoned and added up the numbers incorrectly. He needs to win a heat and then he takes it. A terrible error.

Kelly Slater could possibly be the best sportsman we have ever seen in our lifetime. (Throw in Tiger, Warnie, Sampras, Federer, Sachin, Billy Slater). Who gets your vote?

Wrap - Wallaby Demise

1. Predictable end to the Rugby World Cup. Cooper dismal. Defence poor. Scrum poor and hopeless under the high ball. No Beale? Huge problems. An end to the misery and surely it is when a coach's reign ends. One thing is for certain - France lose.

2. Parra Rumours: 1. Osborne to go. 2. Sonny Bill has signed. What a disaster!

3. Casey Stoner. A sensation from old baby face who is the new world champ..again.

4. Vettel on top again. Webber third and falling fast.

5. Rugby League . A cracking victory at this time of the year but what does it mean? It means Steve Kearney needs to go back to coaching school again. He is terrible.

Wrap - Caviar and Coopers

1. Wallabies. Gutsy win against the tide and the odds. Probably did more than enough to lose. Quade Cooper surely has to be dropped. He was a disgrace. His kicking, his passing, his brain snaps. he would have been a great signing for Pacificmatta.
He was worse than our lineout. In fact if word came out he had been on the drink or the nest the night before, we'd all believe it.

Our defence was strong however - and a lot was needed. Got lucky with a couple of forward passes. Robbie Deans was looking a dead man walking with ten to go until the end. O'Connor was strong. Beale is needed otherwise we are lacking.

Truly great to see Ireland and England fold. France and Wales will be close. NZ v us...!!

2. Des Hasler. What a remarkable stuff up from Manly. The Board are shortlived. I saw Melinda Gainsford Taylor's (a Board member) defence of the sacking of Zorba on the Backpage a few weeks ago and she was weak. Zorba will become the CEO soon once the next elections pass and the Manly empire will be restored. Hasler should be sacked immediately, but they will not want to pay him out. Jim Dymock is like the spare beer that won't fit in the esky - still valuable but you can do without it.

3. Socceroos. Holger Osiecek has strengthened their patterns since taking over. Test v Oman who will be alright. Thank goodness the whole bloody Kewell farce is over for another week.

4. Dave Warner. He is a superstar. He is perhaps the most exciting cricketer in the world outside of Chris Gayle. Two 20/20 centuries in consecutive games is something special. To hit sixes switch hitting is awesome. He could be one of the richest cricketers ever to play the game soon. When he pairs up with Chris Gayle for the Sydney Thunder (green team) this Christmas/ summer, it could pack the joint.

5. Garth Tander. The most articulate and possibly the most hated man in motor sport. A winner once again. A high achiever by all reports and a record to match.

6. Vettel. Too good. Deserved World Champion. Where is Mark Webber? Fourth and a long way behind. Hopefully he may give Vettel some credit this year. A young back to back winner!

7. Black Caviar. Hopefully it won't be shipped off like So You Think and die like Phar Lap - or go bad. A legend and an extraordinary achiever. Bring on the Spring carnival.

Wrap - Old Warhorses

1. Katich. More balls than the Qantas CEO! Taking on the truth in the public arena. Clarke's reaction confirms it as fact for mine. (By the way, the CEO is gone. He simply does not understand Australians). Clarke may wish to explain what happened after that Test in question.

2. That Daniel Smith innings of 185 in the one dayer today was something out of the box. He is a coach of the new franchise in the KFC Cricket Silliness at year's end. Not a bad audition for blokes to listen to him. 12 sixes is pretty unusual, but what about banning North Sydney Oval. Everything that is in that joint is doomed.

3. League. Liked the Aussie display on Sat. morning, but without Lockyer we will be a different team. The referee let blokes lie all over the ruck. It was back to the 1970's! At a trivia night recently, a question: Who was the 1984 Australian league captain? Answer below.

4. Michael Hussey was superb again on Sat v Sth Africa to win the series. He is our best bat over the last year or so and will be the AB medallist next year. No risk. On the other hand, Brad Haddin needs to be chopped. He is a risk and is reckless under pressure. When has he gutsed it out in recent memory?

5. AFL International Rules. The annual laugh. Fancy accepting into that farce as a player or coach. AFL is made to look like a joke. Needs to be canned.

6. Baseball. St Louis Cardinals win in extraordinary circumstances. Texas - with the only banned coach for drug taking as a coach in world sport - were very disappointing. Should have won but did not. Story ends.

7. Chelsea in trouble after losing at home and conceeding 5 goals. need a new keeper. He was terrible.

8. The Cup. Great time at the Spring carnival. Americain will be hard to stop over the distance....again.

Wrap - Shizenhaus

1. Australia v Wales. Third place playoffs seem a bit ridiculous, but a tidy win. Has Quayde Cooper actually helped make the tournament into something worth watching? Too few tries overall and some more space is urgently required between the defensive lines.

New Zealand. Should have won about four of the bloody things. Hippy hippy shakes with the goal kicking early (three from three missed). Winning it without Dan Carter is some sort of achievement. The end of the longest Rugby World Cup in history. Like the timing of their Public Holiday tomorrow. Could be better drinkers than the Aussies in time.

2. Black Caviar. How good? Racing four others is a surrender. Soon it will race no one. Surely there is something out there that can knock it over soon. Two or three years in horse racing is a VERY long time.

3. Had to laugh, In Saturday's Daily Telegraph, Greg Chappell - the well known failed, prickly cricketing coach - was telling the world about how to transform Australian cricket!!! Maybe he should have done this when he had a job. He won't be missed and is almost unemployable in world cricket. He has never really endeared himself to the Australian people - as a player, coach or administrator. When it is all said and done, everyone struggles to get the underarm incident out of their minds. He has not smiled for ten years.

4. League. Jason Ryles will be at Melbourne next year. This was confirmed last week to us on site. He had his buck's day in our marquee at Caulfield Cup Day. Marrying Allan McMahon's daughter. No truth to the rumour that this was arranged by a lot of people (esp. ex coaches) because Allan was known for his booming punt kick - something he will no doubt need to deliver to Ryles up his oversized clacker.

Can anyone quite believe they are queuing up for Todd Carney? It has to be in the far too hard basket.

5. A League. The standard - and the crowds - is an improvement. It may actually be helping our national side too.

6. Cricket. A tired old crop and suddenly Cummins joins them. He will be burnt badly as normal as well. What about Nathan Bracken? Suing Cricket Australia because he wore hair bands and lost all cred.

7. Meatloaf has called the AFL big wigs - "butt sniffers" and blamed everyone but himself for his miserable display. Add that to the supreme display by the unfortunately named Albert Pujols for the St Louis Cardinals yesterday (they lead 2-1 over the Texas Rangers) and suddenly shite was hitting a lot of fans.

Wrap - Air Swinging Parties

Is there a more boring week in footy than the lead up to the Grand Final. By the time Sunday comes, everyone is near glad the bloody thing is finished. Wives, ex players, club officials, coaches, girlfriends, rumours, mystery illnesses, more breakfasts than Kellogs...crap...just play the game.

1. GF. Tiring of poor entertainment, but nothing ever changes. They need to plan things a little more. It can't be that hard! The NRL had a blackhawk helicopter land on the field and then go (nearly as unreliable as the Warriors' hands). BIG DEAL! Saw the 100 metre sprint from the AFL players at half time. Reminded me of the League Olympics from many years ago - amateurs and no names. Meatloaf is all washed up. He has to be banned. A disgrace.

Manly too good. Try on half time was the killer. Warriors tried to go too straight for mine. When they spread the ball they found space later in the game but it was too late. Can anyone seriously tell me that Inu and Mateo were great losses to Parramatta? Brilliant then mind numbingly dumb. Cherry-Evans should have won Churchill for mine - not Glen Stewart.

Anyone noticed that big Manu does not drop the ball when he is a chance of scoring a try? - only at the other end!!!

2. Geelong. Awesome at the back end of the game. Too good and served up it all nicely to 'Bomber' Thompson whose success is also now attributable to a sensational roster and talent. When though are the AFL going to come into the new era of technology? The inexplicable mistake when the Collingwood kick hit the post can be a monumental blunder. The difference between a 1 point and a 6 point outcome in a clutch match is too extreme.

3. Interesting to note that Joe Galuvao has joined FIVE clubs in the NRL: Penrith, Warriors, Souths, Parramatta and Manly. A highly successful career for him as well with three GF appearances for two wins. Ivan Cleary played for four as well - Norths, Manly, Easts, Warriors - with Panthers becoming a fifth (coached) club.

4. Sad to see the Nawab of Pataudi die last week. Only had one eye and hit quite a few Test tons. fair effort. An eye like a dead fish...truer now than ever before.

5. Kevin Na is at it again. After getting a 17 or something on one hole as a pro last year, he is now doing an air swing in the worst named tournament on the PGS Tour - "The Justin Timberlake" in Las Vegas. It looks like an effort on a Buck's weekend from me. Terrible really - and he got away with it.

6. No Dan Carter? No World Cup? NZ will be panicking now. Nothing the Wallabies can't fix with their ineptitude. Great to see Tonga beat France who laid down really already being certain of progressing to the next stage. So we go to: NZ v Argentina/ England v France/ Ireland v Wales/ Sth Africa v Wallabies. NZ, England, Ireland, Wallabies for mine.

7. Can anyone seriously believe a bloke on $80,000 a week would steal a donut. ManU's new keeper did it. Surely not. Man City looking strong. Tevez needs to go home. Refused to go on and play last week!

8. Has anyone had enough of 20/20 cricket yet? The Champions League 20/20 will do this quicker than most tournaments. Fancy giving one point for a wash out. This kills a team off for good. A boring, tired tournament that no one really cares about. Cricket has problems. Player bank managers do not.

Wrap - If The Cap Fits...

Boys,

1. Let's start with Melbourne. Sometimes the arrogance of a sporting club is its undoing. Melbourne has this cornered. Even in defeat we had a selfish coach on his own in the sheds full of self pity - and NOT ONE WORD about the talent of the opposition only his normal range of cliches: 'this club has achieved great things this year' OR 'the club is in good shape' OR ' Our club is proud of its achievements'. Cue Dally M award speeches.

Humility and grace are a long way away. In the end their forwards were beaten. Their fullback made some surprising errors (although he once lost us a Tri Series v NZ with a brain snap). Their bench looked thin. Amazing thing that salary cap.

2. Geelong v Collingwood. So predictable and will be some sort of spectacle. Mick Malthouse's tears are like those of a crocodile. He gets no sympathy.

3. Grand Final Entertainment. Kelly Clarkson or Meatloaf? Fair dinkum. I wonder if the sound will go bad again this year. There is a great need to make it a professional occasion. Olympics standard?

What do we get? marching bands, some obscure youth rock band (Hillsong kickbacks), some dopey parachuter; a blackhawk helicopter, a RAAF flyover...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWN!

4. Rugby World Cup. Here is my theory. You get the minnows there and tell the referees that these games are to showcase free running rugby...no whistle basically. However as soon as it is a game of consequence...blow it up every two seconds so that the Northern Hemisphere's catastrophic stranglehold on rugby is sustained. That way you can pedal out the try scoring stats and make people believe the game is in good shape.

5. Tim Neilsen gone. Good. Ponting is next. This could happen real soon I am told. Can't believe Swampy has secured the Sri Lankan coaching gig. They too are a rabble over there as well.

6. Sir Alex Ferguson is the greatest whinger in world sport. Everytime they lose he attacks. Referees are loathe to offend as they know they will be dropped. He is quite the manipulator. Stoke City did real well and should be complimented.

7. Vettel. Give him the trophy and get back to practising for next year.

8. Day and Scott. This rivalry is bringing the best out of Adam Scott in particular. One -two in the world?

Wrap - Shadow Boxing

Boys,

1. One thing is certain now - Melbourne are in the GF with the Warriors winning on the weekend. It would be some sort of miracle for either Manly or the Storm to be beaten. The week off these days in such a brutal version of the game is a major advantage. Lockyer is still the most dangerous pivot in the game when running the ball at the line.

2. Now here's a pattern. You beat some tough teams - then lose to a terrible team. Welcome to Wallabies Deans Rugby Union. Think Samoa. Think Ireland now. Deans has had fifty tests and are we any closer to consistency and consolidated progress? This game is in dire shape really. Whenever there is a game that matters, out comes the rulebook and whistle. "Look For the Solution - Not the Problem". Referees look for the problem, always in rugby. When minnows play, it is free flowing...

2A. AFL. Stop the lot and play the GF. Has there been a more lopsided comp in the history of Australian sport? Something is wrong here. Even coaches show no loyalty. The likes of GWS getting what was STUPIDLY agreed by all clubs (one uncontracted player from each club) plus a wealth of draft picks is starting to show everyone what big money does to ruin a code.

3. Cricket. Suddenly Australia are in danger of losing the test and leaving with a 1-1 result. 100 plus behind and two days to play. These things seem to happen to us a lot when Siddle plays. Typical display from us overseas. The deciding test rarely falls our way. Hussey in some sort of form and Nathan Lyon not bringing the wickets needed. This Angelo Matthews is a freak. Maybe the next huge thing from Sri Lanka.

4. Davis Cup. A great teams event but will we ever return to the World Group? Even if we did it would be for a year. Tomic has had a tough initiation and Hewitt fights gamely but gives away free points too often as well. That is why he is not in the top echelons of world tennis.

5. Boys get a look at Floyd Mayweather's bout v Victor Ortiz. The ref stops the fight momentarily after a headbutt and Ortiz is talking to the ref and Mayweather cracks him twice while he is not shaping up...joke! Then Mayweather picks a fight with the ring announcer...older than Ray Warren. He magnificently said in reply..." I wish I was FIFTY years younger and I would kick your ass". Gold. It is something special - particularly the commentator's facial expressions.

Have a look at: http://www.foxsports.com.au/Other+Sports/mayweather-ko/video-e6frf56c-1226140207846?subcat=1225914720791&site=FoxSports

Wrap - Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow

1. What the hell has happened to Gus Gould's hair? Far be it for me to comment, but fair dinkum. He looks like Bee Sting Buddha at Schoolies Week.

2. AFL. Geelong and Collingwood might just be looking over their shoulders at the Swans. A strong win v St Kilda. How about the interchange rule with the yellow markings on the ground - and a 50 metre penalty for a minor violation!!

3. Swampy Marsh looks like he has eaten a sheep. Shaun Marsh batted responsibly and suddenly we did not miss Ponting. Surely Ponting is near the end. When the kids arrive, so does retirement. Hussey in rich form. He is the new Graeme Wood. When the axe hovers, pull out a ton. By the way, Swampy has worn the same shirt for three days in a row!

Tony Greig is officially fat. He is unable to pick a coin off the pitch anymore.

Also, interesting to see Trent Copeland - a pace bowler - fielding in the slips. Who was the last Australian to do this? Clem? Not many blokes who have bowled pace and fielded in the slips (Botham, Kallis, Pollock, Watson - Garner at gully). Plenty of spinners (Geoff Miller, Warnie, Swan, Harper, Roo Yardley).

4. Manly looked gone at half time - and unbeatable at full time. Broncos impressive against one of the most disrepectful teams of possession in the finals from living memory. Tigers the sleeper.

TWO in line for the STEVE MAVIN Award (For the Most Hopeless Joke of A Finals Performance): 1. Matt Utai and 2. Manu Vatavei. Fatty was suggesting a brain transplant and half time for Manu. Others were suggesting a new club or new code.

5. Can anyone explain the black jersey for the English team at the RWC? Surely that is why they could barely beat Argentina. A disgrace. Great to see Namibia, Romania, Japan, Fiji and the Minnows. Like ALL world cups, create an "ALSO RANS WORLD CUP" to take these time wasters out of the mix.

6. Wallabies. Lots of hype. Tough at half time and a sensational second half. Italians looked tough, but fell in a heap once the ref tucked the whistle away. 15 penalties in the first half! Joke.

7. Socceroos doing well under the new regime. Dominating in Asia really and the other Asian teams can't be happy with our inclusion.

8. Sam Stosur. Much maligned, but will be one of the great upsets if she can beat Serena Williams. A great effort to get this far. Wozniacki is a major disappointment. Federer too is fading. He was ineffective late v Djokovic. He seemingly gave up.

The Wrap - Green Tights, No Fights

1. Anyone sick of the sight of 'non-offending' blokes looking like Middle East Peacekeepers, praising other 'offending' blokes in the NRL when they make an error? This Seppo crapola has reached epidemic proportions. They need a blast and they need to be told to lift their game. Not hugged and kissed like a visit from the Pope.

Tiring of the player farewell too. Now we get: 'his last game in QLD/ NSW', 'his last Origin', 'his last game at Lang Park', 'his last game for his club', his last kick..spit..tackle...'...and on it goes.

2. Good to see Nathan Lyon get some wickets. Even Beau Casson may have turned one on that deck. What about our mental state on decks like that? We really lack backbone and go to water when the pressure is on. Jayawardene could well have stolen the game from us. Hussey is tough. Ponting's pull shot has reached comical proportions (like mine). His effort in the second dig when his bat was hurtling well into mid wicket before he was caught was laughable.

3. On the cricket, I am sick of the referral system. It slows the game and makes for poor viewing. It cultivates dissension and argument on the field and disempowers the umpire. Intriguingly, when a replay proves an umpire was correct we are nearly in shock. The thing is geared too heavily in line with the bowling team. How would some of the dodgy umpires of the past survived? Speaking of which...Steve Randell may be out of jail soon.

4. Manly look shaky to me when away from home. Also off their game after the balls up of their management with the Glenn Stewart farce. Canterbury ended higher up than they should have, but Jim Dymock will be happy with a new job. Souths soft. Parramatta still let in another try on or after the bell...Newcastle will be minced in week one. Cowboys and Warriors will fade fast too. Neutral grounds will make some teams less potent. Tigers dark horse.

5. Great effort from Sally Pearson to win the hurdles at the World Championships. Rough head. Gruff voice. Sponsor obsessed. Good pace. Is she the only medallist in the last few who has beaten that many black athletes in a track final?

6. Can Sonny Bill possibly be linked with any other club, nation or franchise? He has set a new record in scandal and innuendo. Todd Carney can't compete. Carney better go and play for the Toulon Tools immediately. They must have some sort of rehab set up in that part of France.

7. Fantastic to see that failed slow joke of a ref - Paddy O'Brien - tell us all that the Rugby World Cup refs are going to toughen up and blow more penalties. Is this possible? Can more penalties possibly exist?

8. Loving the tattoo ban from the Roosters for next year. It should be a recruitment "box to tick" (God knows a lot of people do a lot of box ticking in a week these days..."at the end of the day" of course). No GOOSE box.

9. What about Zorba. He fair dinkum looks like a bad used car salesman...but he knows a good sort when he sees one. Now let's list all the other things he could have said instead....

10. AFL. Swans will get lapped at Ethiad at night. They are a daytime / daylight team. Collingwood will bounce back. Geelong will also be hard to toss. The rest...get your green tights out for mad Monday.

The Wrap - Victims and Villains

1. Get set for another Melbourne - Manly whinge about the NRL. Stewart and Blair were a disgrace. The game needs to eliminate this and send a message. The Manly blokes running across was stupid too. Brett Stewart is a clown. His role was the worst - maybe worse than his brother. He also did his knee in the process! Foran is another who will go. Both Stewart boys were seen as pure and rock solid blokes a few years ago at Manly. Now they are destined to become villains.

Melbourne outside of Melbourne were terrible. No excuses. Terrible.

Souths and Newcastle confirmed they are in trouble come Week 1 of the finals. Newcastle were woeful.

2. Wallabies. An extraordinary comeback with defence in the first half more intense and brutal than anything any of us can ever remember. Faded faster than a cheap towel in the second half, but did enough. Perhaps the contract to sign Deans for another three years was worth it? Hard to believe John O'Neill would arrange this before the World Cup. On second thoughts....maybe not that hard to believe.

3. Why does a club lose so many tight games? See ill disciplined, lazy and ineffective as the main reasons. Steve Kearney is a dead man walking. Look for blame towards Daniel Anderson this week in the lead up to the spoon, but the blame is with the coach. Unfortunately a skipper who is not a motivational, inspirational leader - Hindmarsh - needs to take some blame too. His efforts to excuse incompetence and lack of ticker across the year has come back to haunt him. Like the rest of the club, they thought it would all turn around magically and they would finish mid table. Painless. Not to be...they are under the pump big time and the club needs a thorough and complete clean out.

4. Casey Stoner. Rock solid and looking good for the title. Watched Marcus Ambrose (two time 2011 race winner) in the NASCAR on the weekend (track). Skilful, but oh so bloody boring. 200 lap race. Saw two and had seen enough.

5. Shaun Marsh. He has had more chances than Karl Stefanovic, but still he struggles. Brilliant...a dud..brilliant...a dud. His Test career will be short lived. On the other hand, Michael Clarke is in rare form in the middle. Copeland could debut, but honestly if Michael Beer is the future, I say bring back Mo Matthews. He is pathetic. He'd be hit around in B6's.

6. Get a close look at Liverpool and Man City this season in the EPL. Both could surprise and stun ManU for mine.

7. AFL. Loved the Swans effort on Saturday. Spirit plus. A silent crowd at Kardinia is a beautiful thing.

Wrap - Lie Detector Reality

1. Greg Chappell. Is there a more inglorious cricket administrator in the world? As exclusively revealed here some time ago, he is a prickly personality who is hated generally. His underarm act in the 1980's seems to confirm some personality quirks that still annoy everyone.

Nelisen can't stand him from their Sth Australia days when he ruined that State. He tried to ruin Indian cricket too. Everything he touches turns to mud. His reward? Appointed to the Centre of Cricket Excellence in Brisbane. Ironic. We then decline badly.

Here is another example where he has basically been sacked. Must hurt to be dethroned at the hands of AB who he stuffed around endlessly with his touring/ not touring charade and destabilisation tactics of the early to mid 1980's. AB has achieved a little revenge there.

Hilditch gone. No loss. Nielsen on the outer. Stumper Rixon is firming as new coach for mine. Has Steve Waugh introduced his lie detector tests yet? Surely we have a better chair of selectors than Trevor "Never Spun One In My Life" Hohns. Warnie should be recalled if his head wobbles are under control.

Interesting to note comments made about the abundance of Tasmanians in the selection/ playing ranks! Finally someone has woken up. Have a blue chip Don Argus!

2. Waratahs. Chris Hickey has been deposed by an organisation whose stupidity defies belief. They axe Ewan McKenzie who cleans up for QLD, they now axe Hickey who will no doubt get a start somewhere else (Not an abject failure by any means in making semis) and now they appoint one of the Geese of Australian Rugby - Michael Foley. Eddie Harris will elaborate whilst on the cans one day. This will end in tears.

All Blacks seconds team lost but will be ready for Australia next week. James O'Connor seems obsessed with being a tool.

3. Tiger Woods. Tiger is the Ebenezer Scrooge of world sport. He needs a serious reality check and a humility transplant. He needs to become human and accept his flaws. For mine, another scandal is not too far away for him. Mentally frail - an absolute embarrassment really based on his former iron will.

4. India. What a hoax they have proven to be in world cricket. An aging roster which will get eaten alive when the legends all say farewell. Their efforts in England make us look like worldbeaters. We will no doubt prepare a whole heap of featherbeds when they come this summer. Keep in sweet with their administration.

5. League. Suddenly Sandow seems a good buy? He is still erratic, but he at least inspires other players. He can be freakish and has probably won Souths at least three games this year on his own.

6. Some feedback this week from the Eels that Steve Kearney is really on the nose. It centres on Matt Cameron's changing role at the club in 2012 (axing?) - and discontent over the last of the Brian Smith old guard in lower grades and in the woodwork being firmly axed from the ranks there. Time for an overdue change - or time to get rid of Osborne? Fitzy is starting to look good! The Eels are definitely going to get the spoon - as has been mentioned for weeks. They might sign Todd Carney too based on their form. Interesting to see hayne at five eight seems like a great idea. It is one Anderson employed a year and a half ago.

7. Storm look unbeatable. No Cronk and still they win. Soward awful. They will miss Darius Boyd. He is supreme in that team. Saints in trouble. Don't write the Cowboys off yet with Thurston back. Manly look good at Brookvale, but they have struggled in many ways really as the second placed team. Arm wrestle wins don't always triumph in semi finals. Their bubble will burst soon.

8. Good old Rodney Eade (lookalike to me one kid at school said this week...harsh!) sacked as predicted. That club needs an overhaul. Time to look seriously at restructuring and rebadging the joint. Tasmania is not that far away. The players know it and actually put in v pathetic Port.

9. What about dissent in the world of netball. The deposing of the old guard in any organisation is an emotional one. When does the old guard accept it is time to go? Rare. Harry Kewell may be able to help answer that one.

10. Great to see the EPL back in force. Possibly the best competition in world sport.

Wrap - Dinosaurs and Oversized Heads

1. Warnie has now lost the plot. He fair dinkum looks like the old VB Boonie Doll. He has a massive wobbly head and hair that looks like Perkins Paste has made a comeback. Its colour looks like someone wiped their rs on it. He needs to get back to the cigarettes and beer. Too fake. Too trendy. Liz Hurley is a good sort - but is she worth that?

2. Has anyone noticed that since Wayne Bennett has started to start to recruit and sack up Newcastle way, the Knights have improved out of sight - and the Dragons have lost all bearings.. This new Saints coach - Steve Price. He has a good footy name but is the wrong bloke! Remember there were two Dennis Lillee's? One who was the best ever and the other an old hack spinner whose parents had a fair sense of humour.

3. Wallabies. This mob are pure pretenders. We all want to believe they can do it..we hope..but in the end...disappointment. Robbie Deans has had enough - and so have the public. The trial of a NZ coach taking our national team has failed. Nothing surer. Surely Ewan McKenzie is the man.

4. Cameron White has done it again. A loss. Now they have promoted this bloke to skipper and he is wreaking his incompetence over more players than usual. Get rid of him. That or replay that series of his bowling in India when he struggled to hit the mown grass (Chris Matthews style).

5. There is much to admire about Kevin Sheedy. GWS are making huge inroads into western Sydney. Tall skinny kids who have good hands, can kick but are not huge specimens are signing up in droves. Their biggest problem is the lack of a locally stationed stadium. They need to invest in the Blacktown stadium and then they will own the area. League is great to watch and will always be there, but Gus summed it up nicely today in the Sydney Sun Herald. See: http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-league/league-news/action-must-be-taken-to-stop-the-afl-killing-league-20110806-1igjb.html The NRL are asleep at the wheel. I am there every day and the impact is already massive.

(Our school backs onto the biggest rugby league club in the Southern Hemisphere - St Clair Comets - and we have had discussions with AFL about the redevelopment of our school oval. New neighbours).

Add to this the dinosaur code of Rugby - whose two chief media mouthpieces: Terry Smith and Greg Growden would not know where the M4 is. Hence the dismal, insular and myopic state of their code. Their attitude mirrors that of rugby officialdom.

6. No team looks stronger at home than Manly. To win at Brookvale these days is almost unheard of. Parramatta are closer to the spoon with a Titans victory on the weekend.

7. Sally Pearson is officially the ugliest Australian athlete (and our most successful in recent years) since Janelle 'Big Red' Elford. Jess Schipper and Petria Thomas are best looking down in the water too. Ugliest bloke? Surely there is a national sportsman who fits that bill.

Wrap - Turncoat$ and Tightar$e$

1. What about these Melbourne AFL clubs. Some need to be axed. For Melbourne to lose by 180 points is a disgrace. The coach should walk and so should the captain. That is either the worst AFL 'tanking' episode in the game's history - or a club that has had enough. The North Sydney Bears did less and were extinguished. AFL is dying in Adelaide too.

2. St George Illawarra losing to Souths. That is a bad sign. Gus reckons Saints are a lay down misere. I see plenty of skill but they look more and more like the team that Parramatta dusted two years ago. Melbourne by 40 on Monday night.

3. The great bore with a bat - Dravid - keeps piling on the runs. Another hundred. No one can dispute his concentration or resolve. A fair comeback from Stuart Broad who jagged a half century and a hat trick. He can swing the ball. England are the best in the world. Would like to see them win in India however on low dry decks. The Indians have never been good with a swinging ball.

4. Did anyone notice the bloke who has been sacked as a coach more times than anyone ever before him - Peter Sharp - has been sacked again. This time at Parramatta. Kearney needs to be careful sacking assistant coaches. He is next. Good to see Rocket Reddy go. What are his achievements?

5. All Blacks too dominant for any visitor to their shores. When was the last time they lost a night test match on home soil. They have some considerable depth.

6. The crowds being pulled for friendlies in the USA are something else. Man U v Barcelona drew 80,000! The USA will be the making of football world wide - even allowing for the corruption of FIFA.

7. Am I missing something? Is the Twenty Twenty domestic season at Christmas? Why is it the toast of the town with media photo opportunities, etc now? Hard to fathom. I'm officially calling it "Turncoat$ and Tightar$e$ Twenty Twenty". The cash is God. The crowds won't be fooled.

8. World Championship Swimming Medals are not easily earned. However when you win one like James Magnussen , the last thing you need is for a journalist to ask you whether Olympic Gold is the dream. "No, not really...never crossed my mind". Stephanie Rice needs to cook up something special. She is more rice pudding than risotto so far.

Wrap - Low Tide and Princess Highway

1. Cadel Evans. Doubted last week but superb in the time trial last night. A mammoth achievement. He is an intriguing character. Wide mouth frog smile, a temper like McEnroe and a heart like Fiona Coote. The vision from France at this time of the year will make the travel agents busy.

2. On doubters, Mark Webber. Pole position in Germany. Surely he has a win in him. Vettel to win again I believe.

3. Western Bulldogs. They are terrible. Talk of a mid season comeback was quashed with their appalling display again v Sydney. Weak and lily livered. But for the boot of Hall it should have been an eighty - hundred point game. Rodney Eade needs to go quickly and that club needs to get their act together or move to Tasmania.

4. Parramatta. It has become a weekly treat. Wait till five minutes to go and watch what next numbnut is able to do something dumb and cost them the game. Again, Hayne failed. Robson (gone to the Sharks TG) gives away a stripping penalty (akin to putting water in your petrol bowser at the service station), then Hayne gets cute with his kicks and gives away field position before the Dogs (ex Eel Hodkinson) boot a field goal. Parramatta's stupidity and lack of smart game leadership under pressure (and that is Hindmarsh mostly - as good a defender as he may be) is not to be helped with the signing of old mate Tautai, who returns from Cronulla for next year to the Pacific Islander Parrots. Not much good comes out of Cronulla - usually low tide is about it.

5. The most boring batsman since Chris Tavare, Raul Dravid hit a century overnight. Again, not about the team, about HIM. Gets the not out at 105, but runs for the team post century as the tail whimpered around him. He has traded on the 'I got a century, I am a cleanskin' mentality, but he is not interested in team success. A draw is his aim - and another century.

6. "Ban Bin Hammmam from all football leadership, admin and involvement for life" says FIFA. "That way, our corruption can only be blamed on him". What a farce.

7. Apparently Jarryd Hayne was in Kings Cross looking for a few competition points on the black market.

8. Wallabies were alive and kicking on Saturday night. Must say that at the ground, the standard of our defence was pretty strong by and large. The Springbox were ordinary and were more box than spring with many stars left out. What price is on a national rugby jersey these days? Seems as though a bench of 10 all get on...not like the old days.

The Wrap - A Peloton of Fools

1. Is there a more powerful instrument than the media for making a goose of someone? Mal Meninga has had a bad brain snap. Can't disagree with the right to bag them, but it was a poor call. Bagging the press amounts to nil. They always have the last word. Bagging everyone, he'll get a start on The Wrap soon.

2. NRL. Starting to see the champions rising. Melbourne will be hard to toss. Slater is the best fullback of our time. His resilience is unbelievable for a small bloke. V. Tough, but advertising Suzuki products will not help his cause. Duffie is something special too.

Manly are firing too with both teams having very few injuries at this stage. It can change quickly. Broncos will be there at the end too. Dragons favourites. Tigers still dangerous for mine but a number consigned to the dustbin (Titans, Roosters, Canberra, Eels, Dogs, Bunnies, Knights even). Injuries can change things big time. eg. Thurston.

3. Parramatta. The performance at Penrith defies belief. This comes after the capitulation a few weeks ago against Manly. They are simply a lazy football side. They do not compete for each other, rather leaving it for others. The kick inside..if you get a look at it, Moi Moi, Morgan and others...all walking. Next year they will be heaps better - a team of all highly focused and highly committed Pacific Islanders (Hayne, Uaisele, Loko,W. Tonga, E.Tonga, Roberts, Moi Moi, Lasalo, Horo, Maitua) plus Mannah and Sandow.

The performance of Jarrod Maxwell (looks like Tim the Toolman) with time off with a second to go is one of the worst home town decisions we have seen in a long, long time. Surely this was out of line but he seems to be getting defended as usual.

4. AFL. Collingwood too good. Richmond are finished too. They are the AFL Parramatta, this time losing to the Gold Coast who were down by about 50 at one stage. Third win for Gold Coast is extraordinary. Swans will be lucky to make the eight. Their SCG form is poor.

5. Despite rumours, I have not been hacking the phones of NRL and Super 15 coaches....Brumbies' Andy Friend, Matthew Elliott, Kevin Moore. All gone. I am hearing Steve Kearney is not safe after June/ July next year if he doesn't make some changes to the team's toughness under pressure.

6. As rare as an honest snow report from Thredbo (even the bloody sun is brighter than normal - and of course, more snow is expected THIS weekend...of was that NEXT weekend. It does not snow mid week of course), Samoa had a Rugby victory, but is this not the best demonstration of the arrogance of Robbie Deans/ Wallabies? No respect for the opposition and a squad of 40 blokes!!! 40 blokes...sounds like a wedding, not a rugby team.

7. Why is the British Open so boring on television? Sounds like the Ashes cricket coverage when they had one camera from one end. Appalling.

8. Is Cadel Evans slipping into a permanent third or fourth spot? When it is all said and done, he is a long way off the pace in bicycling parlance. The performance of the French film crew's car swerving into the peloton was magnificent!

Penalties hit

1. Is it just me or is there something very odd about our state cricketers playing for different states in this much hyped 20-20 comp around Christmas (a different state to the one they have represented up to Christmas!). Fancy Hauritz going back to play in Brisbane? (Some would say go further north to Bangladesh). What about South Aussie giving the Vics Tait - or Callam Ferguson going to play in Hobart. We are in more trouble than we think in world cricket.

India could kill us by mercy rule this summer.

2. State of Origin. Rick Stuart has something about him that makes New South Welshmen even hate him. If he was so overwhelmed by the moment of the series loss that he waited in the dressing room for so long he missed Lockyer's presentation....he has issues which make him a liability. Maybe Gould was right. Is player loyalty to Ricky simply a ticket to future Origin games?

3. If any one saw Parramatta's mediocre win on Friday night, they must have faith that the Tigers may now be one of the worst teams in the NRL.

4. Many would not have seen it, but baseballer Derek Jeter (2) hit his 3,000th hit for the New York Yankees on the weekend. An incredible feat.

5. Can anyone explain the stupidity of AFL players who hit opponents before the first centre bounce of a game - and give away a penalty? I am a big believer that those who give away penalties in any code are not worth selecting long term. Too risky and there is always an equivalent player of equal ability - but better temperament. The best players never seem to be that person.

6. Reds. A grand performance under pressure - and despite the ever increasing stupidity of Stu 'I want my face on TV' Dickinson, the ref had a decent game. The speed of rugby needs to be heightened however. It can never be a mainstream sport until the governing bods accept this.

QLD now hold national titles in A League, Super 15, Origin...their AFL is terrible and so is their cricket team. Doing well however.

7. The ARU World Cup Squad. Let's name 40 - FORTY - players and then cut it to 30 - THIRTY! Robbie Deans is kidding surely. Ewan Mackenzie should be measured up right now with a coach's blazer.

Can't wait for a carbon tax, pokies tax and a mining tax. Hopefully Gillard will shut up, stump up,and give up.

Wrapova

1. AFL Weekend of Upsets. An unbeaten Geelong losing to a fading Essendon was a shock. Nothing compared to Sydney's incompetent kicking display v Adelaide. Carlton surging and Richmond capitulating. Collingwood still flag favourites. Brisbane finally win something (Broncos, Reds, Roar are lapping this mob who have lost their stars).

2. NRL. What a horrible weekend of league. Parramatta confirmed their wooden spooner favouritism. I can exclusively reveal they have also signed Junior Paulo - yet another Islander. BIG news for the future demise of the club. Tautai from Cronulla looks likely to return to the club. They are travelling like Tiger airlines. Steve Kearney is under pressure. All the cheap imitations who feel they have once rubbed shoulders with Bellamy have all been duds. Look out Souths. Bellamy himself was an Origin coaching failure too.

The only clubs who are thriving are the Penrith Panthers (amazing what an axe over your head does for effort) and the Sharks and Knights. Can't wait for Ivan Cleary to arrive there. No personality whatsoever. Suits Gus' ego perhaps.

3. Kitova. Wins Wimbledon against Sharapova who is sadly getting a choking reputation the envy of Jana Novotna. Djokovic will be dismantled. He even struggled against Tomic. If your name does not end in 'c' or with an 'ova' retire now.

4. Reds won, but will be no match for the Crusaders who won on the road all year (earthquake inspired). They will take the Reds apart on Saturday as well.

5. Vetell. He is operating at an infinitely superior level to all other drivers. His record is near perfect, matched only by Casey Stoner. Could be one of the best ever.

6. Did anyone notice Australia's Marcus Ambrose carving them up in Daytona? No? Watch Cars 2 in the holidays with the kids to pick up the ending.

7. The West Indies look to be clawing their way back without Chris Gayle who is chasing $$ worldwide with his brand of power and care free looseness. Interesting that they are unveiling some new stars without the histrionics. Their wickets never turn and never get worse. Shocking from Day One.

8. Good to see So You Think's trainer talking of a return to Australia. Will be interesting to see how it fares in France. Shades of Phar Lap.

9. The Annual Tour La Needle festival is on again. Cadel Evans is possibly the crankiest man in world sport. Ricky Stuart, Allan Border, Mick Malthouse and Kevin Moore (giving him two weeks before the axe) are in the finals with him.

Wrap - Slow Coaches and Numb Nuts

1. As much as it pains everyone to admit it...Melbourne have done some extraordinary things to lead the NRL comp after the fiasco that Bellamy knew all about over $$$$$. Still they are not favourites for the comp. An injury to 1, 9 or 7 would set them back...but unlikely to happen. They must be nervous about the future of Cronk however. He is the weakest link there. Equally, Geelong have been exceptional too under a new regime. West Coast too have made a stunning form reversal. Swans gallant against the Pies, but gallantry does not win comps.

2. NRL Expansion. This story, the new Independent Commission and any number of other whinges (stand alone weekends, draw, player workload) seem to be never ending - and never addressed issues. David Gallop is surely one of the least effective sports administrators in Australia these days. The weeks roll by...the issues remain unresolved - and never addressed. The judiciary decision to cite Thurston is a shocker too. Ref appeaser.

Perth Reds to make a comeback? The conditions of the Friday night game were as unexpected as they were disgraceful.

3. Did anyone notice that Matt Elliott did not see out his contract at Penrith last week as predicted? Kevin Moore has been spared the axe this week but is a dead duck too. I see Steve Kearney may have his contract renewed for a longer period. Paul Osborne is heading the way of Denis Fitzgerald. He said that Kearney has been able to attract the big names....the big names? Sandow..Tautai....Great.

4. Can a team have too many Pacific Islander players in it? More talented than most, but error prone and ill disciplined. (Are Parra really missing Inu and Mateo? How about Albert Kelly? A master stroke to get rid of him).

5. Parramatta were a disgrace. That LOKO on the left hand side is pathetic. His defence is appalling. Lucky for Parra that they play the Broncos (and lucky for the Broncos) without Lockyer and his precision passing game (best in the game - ever). Spoon favourites really. Spineless.

6. Tomic. Great effort v Soderling - after MUCH hype to make the final 16 in the world on grass. A big chance of beating Xavier Malisse who has been around as long as a standard burqua.

7. Great to see Meat Loaf coming out to the AFL Grand Final. Here's hoping he is not on the drink. Lionel Ritchie is booked out.

8. Super Rugby. Reds likely to be in the box seat. Tahs went through the motions and lost. Top six gives hope but I still like the Crusaders. Tough to beat.

9. Casey Stoner. Our best international performer outside of Jason Day (two seconds in two successive major golf tournaments) for 2011. The best thing is he is not whinging and complaining. Where was Mark Webber when that lesson was on?

10. World Wrestling is in town this Friday - ACER - get out there for old time's sake.

Wrap - Rex Hex

Lads,

1. After his display on the Friday night (Wendell's brother), Peni Tagive is to be added to the best ever

Team of Measurement and Currency:

1 - Rod Silva 2. David Miles 3 - Laurie Daley 4 - Mark Coyne 5 - Peni Tagive 6 - John Brass

7 - Peter Sterling 8 - Ray Price 9 - Noel Goldthorpe 10 - Robert Stone 11 - Gary Coyne 12 - Paul Gallen 13 - Dean Pay

Reserves: 14 - Steve Price 15 - Phil Daley 16 - Marcus Bai

Quarter time Entertainment: Lou Gramm (Dick Pound drugtester)

The NSW Origin victory was impressive, but a series win - that is another thing. Surface stayed together nicely and their defence (around the legs on many occasions) was strong. Second phase QLD ball was rare - unlike Game 1. Gallen was strong, but no monuments yet please. Likely to give away a penalty whilst in possession that costs us the series.

2. My tip: Canterbury are about to sack their coach Kevin Moore after Cronulla smashed them today. Stay tuned. A lot of cash has gone into the club. No result.

3. Idris. He has a sniff of the goose about him. Late to training, signing million dollar contracts. He'll be in AFL before we know it. Adding to the coach's misery.

4. How about Warnie. Saw him on the BBC coverage the other night. Looks like his hair is fair dinkum painted on his head. His comments re Katich deserving to be sacked are off the mark. It will be interesting if Clarke comes to play at NSW as Aussie captain. Could be batting at number 7.

5. AFL. Swans cannot do better than 7th this year. Soft. North too good for a fading Essendon. Where are the Hird lovers now? Rod Eade looking to pass the reins over to Keith. Finished.

6. Shock loss in the semis for Stosur in Eastbourne. Straight sets this time. 'Played my best...left nothing in the tank...in great form'. Usual softness. 6-1, 6-4. Dokic also lost in a shock display of tantrum free tennis. Hewitt about to earn one of the "most injured" world sportsmen tags. Unfortunate.

7. Webber. Sell for about $150 these days. Going well, but not a chance of winning. Good form on 'the champagne spraying on the podium' however.

8. Casey Stoner (he of the glam wife - one down from Piggy Riddell's missus who is outstanding) has been carving them up whinge free in 2011. Incredible effort really.

9. Rex Mossup. RIP. He hated wingers putting the ball down one handed or Dallas Donnelly in the backline.

He gets the Meapro ham (the samallgoods specialists), the Ben Hogan Leader golf balls, the Brut, the Larco tracksuit, the Skefron pain relief spray, the Patra orange juice, the Whale car wash voucher, the Viking sauna voucher (with Ferris Ashton), the Fabiani shirt and the Kevin Junee Run For Your Life Sportstore voucher (Bondi Junction and the Angel Arcade in the City...from memory).

Check out some memories: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JcMr-y_7mU

The commentary and aggression in his imagery is vintage Rex: http://www.youtube.com/user/Berries1935?blend=6&ob=5#p/u/0/RqEpMZhujQs

10. On commentators, Rabbsie is afflicted with the dreaded prostate cancer (from which many bowel/ bladder/ other cancers stem). As you know I have had mine removed three years back, so get checked - a PSA blood test. Youngest bloke by a mile at 40 years of age. Doc told me if I had come a year later he could not have helped me. Only sign? A couple of extra droplets post piss. Man up and front up. No regrets.

Wrap - Shizen House

1. Can the NSW State of Origin hype amount to anything? Hard to see our forwards doing any damage. Looking at the forecast, it is for poor weather which will see a low, slow and dour affair with Lockyer's kicking game killing us. The conditions will play into the hands of QLD with their heavier forwards. We are looking to spread the ball wider with more mobile forwards selected, but will not be able to in the driving rain. QLD - another win. It will definitely emerge that we have chosen the wrong team for the eventual conditions. Unlucky Ricky strikes again.

2. Tiring of old, fat retired commentators saying that "the crowd should turn up in numbers" to Origin. let's all remember that ANZ holds some 30,000 more people than Suncorp. Easy from the air conditioned booths in corporate land eating Yak's semen and gorilla testicle pate on mung bean crackers.

3. What about the picture of Michael Clarke with a beanie on the front page of the Sunday papers? Does this bloke know no limits in trying to impress himself on the unsuspecting public. The sacking of Katich is a disgrace. Let's have a look at a few others (obviously a squad to cover all three forms of the game):

Cricket Australia contracts list 2011-12:

Fast bowlers: Doug Bollinger, Patrick Cummins, Ryan Harris, John Hastings, Ben Hilfenhaus, Mitchell Johnson, Brett Lee, James Pattinson, Peter Siddle,

Spin bowlers: Xavier Doherty, Nathan Hauritz, Jason Krejza, Steven Smith,

Batsmen: Michael Clarke, Callum Ferguson, Phillip Hughes, David Hussey, Michael Hussey, Usman Khawaja, Shaun Marsh, Ricky Ponting, Shane Watson, Cameron White.

Keepers: Brad Haddin, Tim Paine.



A. How can Hilfenhaus (Shizenhouse) get a contract. He is FINISHED. He is appalling. Brett Lee - surely this is an error. What does he offer now?

B. Spin bowlers. Fair dinkum. Where is the Shane Warne Spin Academy? Krezja should keep practising his handstands.

C. Batsmen. Cameron White is an imposter. When does Mike Hussey get sacked? Phil Hughes is another freeloader - flashy and inconsistent. Terrible this season really.

D. Haddin nearing the end.



A test team of Watson (vc), Khawaja, Ponting, Clarke (c), Hussey, M, Ferguson, Haddin, Johnson, Hauritz, Siddle, Bollinger is about as good as we get.



A test team of Watson (vc), Hughes, Khawaja, Clarke (c), Ferguson, Marsh, Paine, Johnson, Smith, Cummins, Pattinson is closer than we think.



Dis anyone ask the question: WHY DO WE NEED 25 CONTRACTED PLAYERS? DO WE HAVE 25 WHO ARE GOOD ENOUGH?



4. Waratahs home from South Africa and still with a sniff. Reds looking to have the wobbly boots on. Brumbies are playing for contracts and making the former league great - Tony Rea - look better than he is. Will beat NSW next week. Force have been better than most in recent times but love finding new ways to lose.



5. AFL. Carlton looking strong. Gotta say that in the wet, the scrappy nature of some games (eg. Richmond v Swans) is bloody painful. Hawthorn look strong, but Geelong holding too. Swans are winning ugly every week but will crash.



6. NRL. A terrible round of footy in every sense. The standard of footy is horrible and something new is required there lest everyone fall asleep. Two comeback wins is exciting, but no arm wrestle.



7. Webber-Vettel. Is there really any rivalry? Seems Vetell has him covered in every way. Webbers have always been second best products and poor imitations of the rest.

Wrap - When Another Open Letter Is Never Enough

1. State of Origin Team. Hopoate in the centres. Premature selection and he will be found out. Inglis and Hodges will not believe their luck! Surely Brett Stewart needs to come in to the side for an injured Dugan. Gallen as prop tells me we will be throwing the ball wide and running their forwards around. Not sure this is the right tactic as they will make a lot of metres, while we run sidewards. Tim Mannah played very well on Friday night v St. George. This was possibly the best Parramatta had defended in three years.

Lockyer in fine fettle. He and Thurston along with Cameron Smith and Billy Slater could all be immortals one day. Lockyer is one of the few league players who would remember Hoges before his terrible facelift. Time to go.

2. Chinese, Indian and Sri Lankan rugby league or rugby union players? No one since Denis Bendall (Tigers) for mine. Any one else? Li Na (Sharapova not bad to make the semis. Federer to win tonight) is about to set the Chinese sportsworld alight with her victory in the French Open. They could become the most successful sports nation in the world. No shortage of players and people.

3. Is there a worse head of hair in world sport than Bernie Ecclestone (Formula One)? (No votes for the devil himself, Don King). His decision to take the F1 competition to 20 races is excessive. I wonder whether the drivers will whinge like rugby league players - or just count the cash - and spray the champers.

4. Gold Coast Suns doing very well in first year. Keith may be right. They could dominate for many years to come. St Kilda and Western Bulldogs in trouble. Hawthorn looking sharp - especially at the G. Loved the Eddie Maguire blow up re racist comments in the crowd. He loves a headline and has taken on this scourge, but again the drink changes personalities quicker than most believe.

5. Finally someone has been listening. Kevin Moore needs to be dumped from the Bulldogs - and will be soon. They spent up big, lost Hannant and now are in trouble. Aging roster with Ryan to join El Masri and Patten overseas soon. Poor defence. Manly looking strong. Storm still winning and Souths still making excuses. Time to write the fifteenth OPEN apology letter to the fans for the season (after 10 rounds).

6. Shaq O'Neill. Great retirement speech - mock phone call - the lot! Next...the infidelity stories will flow.

7. Reds. What price them losing to Brumbies? Playing for contracts down Canberra way can change attitudes when one's livelihood is at stake. The Reds will be kicking themselves that they dropped their guard and it could cost them big time. Bulls in trouble and who would have thought...the Tahs lost in South Africa

Wrap - IPL (Idiotic Payments League)

1. The Waratahs. With finals approaching and the Tahs in South Africa, there is a perfect symmetry to their inevitable - and historical - self destruction. Meanwhile the QLD Reds at home in front of their packed home crowd is one of the best sights in Australian sport.

2. Messi. Barcelona fair dinkum toyed with Manchester United (3-1 victory). They were lucky they did not lose by five. Magic atmosphere and the old legs at ManU showed. They need a revamp for continued success. Once again England proves they have the best domestic league but they are off the pace on the world stage where Spain dominate.

3. NRL. Cronulla almost beat Melbourne, who are struggling now that Brian Waldron has been exposed. Nonetheless a win is a win. More than can be said for a lack lustre Parramatta (notice Ricky Stuart has Hayne running faster with his kick returns and playing the ball much more quickly without nonsense in the ruck...amazing transformation) and a terrible Roosters (Smith will be nervous. Dud rumour by the way). Broncos may have outsmarted themselves with their resting of stars. They have turned in a few losses when they were on a roll. Titans are too old. Tigers still flashy but often without hope. Dragons powering on to back to back premiership strength.

Manly...travelling well and they will have Jason King back soon from Origin. He won the Jamie Lyon Man of Aluminium Award from Origin One. Foran is something special.

4. AFL. Harmichael kicks his first goal. Can we line up for cartwheels just here...? Or can we all take our aeroplane paper bags and vomit in stereo. Carlton surprising everyone. And what about Acker...the great Acker...telling the world that Keith's Western Bulldogs are soft, old and lack self belief, skill and purpose. Sounds like his own autobiography.

5. Cricket. How about the bloke in English County Cricket who was signed by Worcestershire sight unseen (a Sri Lankan domestic legend apparently) when in fact he was nothing more than a park cricketer with a good sense of humour? Cracking story of deception and bureaucratic stupidity! In England, their lack of humour always sees these things referred to police. Pride is an awful thing.

6. By the way, the Chennai Superkings won the IPL. Who? Who cares? Mike Hussey hit a whirlwind half innings and set an opening batting record! He may have some life left yet! RIP TJ.

Did anyone see Sri Lanka after Murali v England in their latest Test? A LOOOONNNGGGGG way back. They are benign in attack now. May see a lot of drawn tests involving them now at best.

7. Apparently Shahid Afridi has retired as skipper again. He's moved in to Bin Laden's joint. No one can find him.

8. Was it just me or was the great marshmallow, Sam Stosur, relaxed (again!!) in defeat and claiming she had played her best? Maybe when you crack the BRW Top 50 Rich List, the attitude softens. Still backing Federer, although Djokovic is absolutely creaming them all. He is in ferocious form. Like Sharapova in the women's. More ways than one.

Wrap - Family BBQ

1. Origin. Can there be any more stories about Origin in the lead up phase? We've had everything analysed, dissected and evaluated. Is anyone getting the feeling there will be a familiar end for NSW...a loss, refs criticised, coach outbursts, sackings and then Idris and Hayne back in. NSW need to start winning or the concept may after 30 years be nearing death.

Surely the time is nearing for a Pacific Islander team and a Maori Team. A four way 'Origin' series. Place of birth.

2. What about the Waratah Fan Forum? Fans able to bag the crap out of them. Who organised that? Can't imagine too many more. Maybe that says more about the Waratahs than anything else. Their crowds are the lowest they have EVER been.

Brumbies bounced back with a draw after Tony Rea's spray. It is as good as it gets for them.

Is James O'Connor thick? Make a decision and move on. Quade Cooper's one year deal should coincide with the end of Deans as coach.

3. AFL. Hawthorn looking sharp. Carlton have ramped things up too. Perhaps Collingwood are not over the line yet. Even Richmond have toughened up with a good win v Essendon.

4. Canterbury Bulldogs. They are underachieving again. Coach Moore seems to escape much scrutiny. They looked good v Saints and lost but were simply appalling v Canberra. Furner may have had the tap on the shoulder the way the players have rallied recently. Orford is clearly not popular. When not there, they go better. Brian Smith must have gotten out of trouble this week with his many wives. A win but nothing flashy.

5. Sam Stosur through in the first round at the French, but did anyone notice her capitulation to Sharapova last week in the final. The questions still surround her. Get on Nadal too. He will win v Djokovic. I still reckon Federer has another Grand Slam win in him.

Hewitt withdrew with yet another injury. He is up there with Eric Grothe senior, Brett Papworth and Jana Pittman as one of our most injured. Can you believe we have ONE bloke in the draw? Tomic. Bring back Draper - Kratzmann - Edmonson - Warwick.

6. Thorpie looking trim and fit. He is a freak. What price a gold in London? Surely he will be close now that EPO is being ironed out in world sport.

7. How about that James Sutherland. Reports he is sitting in on all interviews in the review of Australian cricket. They are getting like FIFA that mob. The integrity of that Cricket Australia organisation is shot.

8. Signing of the year - Timana Tahu. Take the money and run. Season ending injuries are his specialty. Golden handshakes are a specialty too. Still waiting for his explanation of the racial allegations at that two bob footy carnival.

9. Quote of the week: "FIFA is not corrupt" (Sepp Blatter). He is as popular as an invitation to an Ibrahim family BBQ.

Wrap - A Rea of Warnie

1. ManU. Dancing on the spot seems to be the domain of soccer premiers and winners. Why? In F1 it is spraying the champers, in Indian cricket it is the oversized cheque and fifty fat blokes on the stage, in NFL it is the emptying of the gatorade on the coaches head, in the Aust Open you jump in the Yarra, in the AFL some kid puts the medal around your neck, in the FA Cup you walk up into the grandstand to shake hands and get the trophy, the open top bus is the European soccer, in Australia you get a ticker tape parade...

2. Well a punter's nightmare: Losses over the weekend to Broncos, Storm (almost the Saints), Roosters, Collingwood, Crusaders...even the Brumbies and Eels lost. Who would have thought?


3. The Eels were appalling. Up by 16 points and then let in 30 unanswered points. Pre season we heard that there was a new commitment, a new unity, a Storm-like solidarity, doing for each other....yada, yada....basically nothing has changed and in fact they have gotten worse. Daniel Anderson must be sitting there with a wry smile on the dial.


And blow me down with a minor human gaseous explosion, cover me with honey and tie me to a ants nest...they are looking to sign Ben Roberts!!!!!!!!! Another galoot. Only Willie Mason and Sonny Bill Williams to go....and Todd Carney. Reni Matieu comes back on Friday. That culture of togetherness and awe, wonder and pleasure must be strengthening. Chris Walker is setting them on fire.

Also, the taxi fares must be killing the club's salary cap. None of them have driver's licences due to DUI offences, disqualifications, etc.

2. Tony Rea. Great spray of the players, the club, the lot. Bad look when he is on the outer too (not good for a career in coaching anywhere). Giteau is going and so is Tony. Can't remember him being a massive legend who put in all the time either.

3. Stoke City v Man City. Man City too strong, but Stoke were respectable. Not many teams win premierships with vertical striped jumpers. Who was the last?

4. Warnie. Is it true that no matter what Warnie does he is forgiven by the Australian public? Pete tells a yarn from Damien Fleming who was summonsed by Steve Waugh to have a chat to a quiet Warnie in the dressing sheds before a Test when he'd just broken up with the wife. Fleming approached him and looked to console him when Warnie said "Do you reckon when I flick the ball from the fourth finger, it spins more vigorously? I've been trying to work it out". Zero distractions.

6. AFL. Collywobbles...surely not. Suddenly an open competition emerges. Hawthorn looking better. Essendon going well. St Kilda and Dogs....slipping. Swans and Eagles steady but will not be there when the whips are cracking.

7. Casey Stoner getting back on track. Best sort wife in world sport in some eyes. Jimmy Anderson in the GF.

8. Black Caviar. Phenomenal. The pin will no doubt be pulled soon for overseas work - or rooting work.

9. Question of the week....is the mum in the Tooheys Advert work more than two cases?

The Wrap - The Real Steal

1. NRL. Australia's Test win was a strong performance. Lockyer will be an immortal one day (saving a drug revelation). He is a cut above. Slater too and probably Smith. We are living in extraordinary times.

Surely though at some stage we need to get away from this ridiculous split round nonsense. The NRL loses all momentum and no one quite cares about it when we have a weekend of Gold Coast-Warriors-Brisbane-Melbourne-Nth QLD-Raiders playing. It bores everyone to tears.

City v Country. Is this concept dead? Always seems to be a dour and bleak affair. Usually brings upon blokes wanting to fall asleep after ten minutes.

Sharks circling around Furner in Canberra.

2. AFL. The final quarter of the Gold Coast Suns v Brisbane was an incredible game. The passion and the spirit of the Suns after last week's shellacking was extraordinary.

Richmond - West Coast - Melbourne and Essendon are all showing amazing transformational signs. In good time. However Collingwood are unbeatable (maybe Geelong could threaten this week) and on fire. Great to see the disappointing and perpetual losers in Richmond - 'the Parramatta' of the AFL - performing.

3. Boxing. Manny Pacquiao beat Shane Mosely to make him possibly the best boxer since Sugar Ray Leonard. Dominant.

The Daniel Geale IBF victory was as popular as Osama Bin Laden's leftover wives. The boos told a familiar story in boxing. No knockout victory = no 'real' victory. Pretty amazing to go over there and come back with a victory.

4. Golf. The death of the great Seve was unfortunate across the weekend. Was always a stunning presence in the tight woolen jumper and mop of black hair. Surprising not to see the Great White Goose not commenting on this as a key rival all those years ago. Probably stitching up another divorce settlement. Seems to comment on everything else.

5. Tahs win again in unspectacular circumstances, but hard to argue with yet another victory. How did they win the first couple of games by so many!!? May be an open Super Rugby competition this year. Sounds like Danny Cipriani wins the 'biggest fool of the season' award. Stealing grog from behind a niteclub bar...out on the drink constantly, defying his well respected coach and sacked from the Rebels team...pommy galoot.

6. ManU and Chelsea showdown. The class of ManU will be hard to toss. Chelsea if successful could have made the most striking comeback in years. Either way the coach - Ancillotti - will be gone in a few weeks.

7. Can't wait for another Todd Carney chapter. Hope the poor bastard can hold it together. Unfortunately there will be some amazing bonuses for those photographers who can catch him with a beer bottle in hand. The NRL are weak. When is the damn commission coming? Probably just after the next TV rights deal are botched...

Wrap - Second Chance Heaven

1. QLD Reds are increasingly impressive. Too good in defence. At times you get the feeling that 15 players on the field is too many. For most Super Rugby teams it is too few. Tahs don't seem to learn. Phil Waugh delighted at being replaced at a key moment in the game. What an insult! Gotta love those refs looking for a penalty when they get a bit tired. Crowds like last night deserve a medal. Packing and re-packing scrums is another highlight of the code. Iron them out or free to air television (= growth in the code's size and coffers) will never occur.

2. League/ NRL. Matt Elliott will be the first coach sacked for mine. Lang will be the first to have a heart attack. Don't you love the 'Open Letter' to fans from coaches (this time an increasingly desperate Steve Kearney at Parramatta). It is the last straw. Not many such letters from Wayne Bennett. Broncos are outstanding at present. Storm and Dragons well ahead and maybe Manly and the rest can eat grass.

Unfortunately, all Easter/ Bunny lines were retired this weekend with the lame, diseased efforts of the Rabbitohs.

3. Just when you thought the recruitment at Parramatta could not possibly get worse, along comes a weighty offer for Chris Sandow. Genius and dunce in the same game repeatedly. Just what they need along side of Webb (biffer and aged boxer), Chris Walker (reformed alco and known goose), Paul Whataruia (went the knuckle on two innocent blokes who walked past him and was put in a British mental hospital), Reni Matiau (drug cheat rebound), Chris Hicks (re-tread), young Murray (TAB prime suspect in the betting sting) and on it goes....Just need Willie Mason in the place now. Second and Third Chances....

4. Gold Coast Suns. Well, well, well...who would have thought that the one week wonder effort of Port Adelaide would vanish so fast (cost us a multi too). The Suns have some special youngsters, but Port are a joke now. Maybe the precious Melbourne press might support Ablett now. Class is permanent as they say.

5. Sam Stosur. Just when we saw her beat Vera (loving that name) Zvonareva in the semis in Stuttgart in a tie breaker, she loses yet another three set match to a little known German and does not make the finals. She is the new underachiever in pressure moments on our world stage. Tough yes, but she is a perennial three set loser.

6. IPL. Has anyone seen any footage? It seems like a closed shop for IPL TV coverage these days. Dave Warner, Shaun Marsh and Gilchrist are killing them daily. Even Cameron White got 20 runs the other day.

7. Arsenal are the classic soft English football team. A smell of the championship, butt hey will fall over. No ruthlessness. Compare them to Jose Mourinho's Real Madrid team which beat the unbeatable Barcelona - and then dropped the cup under the team bus. Love it. 'The Special One' will be going all out to kill off Barcelona again mid week.

8. Lamenting the retirement of The Edge in WWE wrestling. Big news in that end of town.

Wrap - Eddie Mania

Boys,

1. Aussie League Team. Predictable and strong, but why do they lose so regularly? NZ will serve it up to them big time. No Jarryd Hayne was deserved. Not enough Saints players for mine. Saints may as well take the premiership trophy now. However, Ben Creagh needs a big one. He is a perennial underachiever on the big stage (sacked from Origin twice). Too many NSW blokes are in it for mine when QLD have lapped us for years.

2. Imagine playing cricket as a youngster - or as an International - against Sehwag. You would be in for a shellacking! Outside of Tendulkar, he is the best in the world for mine. He changes games and regularly produces first rate results. He eats IPL bowling for breakfast.

3. How good is this Fitzgibbons girl as a surfer?Another win. Seems to be a fair dinkum factory production line of top class surfers.

4. With Matt Elliot gone, David Furner at Canberra must be warming as the next to go. Canberra are a rabble. How does Ricky Stuart sound back at Canberra? Or Mal Meninga?

5. Port Adelaide must feel worse this week after losing to the Gold Coast Bums. Essendon put 100 on them in one quarter! Saw Alan Tongue biffing a Port player too from the crowd.

6. Reds. A disappointing loss. Force almost surprised and typical Waratahs 'winning ugly' v Rebels. Unfortunately the Brumbies look to have lost the services of the former GREAT league player and union expert, Tony Rea. Les Kiss and John Muggleton have met a similar fate.

7. Talk of Eddie Jones returning to coach Australia (ahead of Ewan McKenzie?) brings a shudder - and the suggestions of Foley replacing Hickey at the Tahs is enough to bring our very own Eddie Harris back home from South East Asia for a get square! What was the story Ed with Foley from your time at the Reds?

8. AFL. Carlton and Essendon the big improvers. Richmond waking up and Collingwood unbeatable!

9. Get a look at this bloke. Tottenham keeper - GOMEZ. Fair dinkum looks like part of the Adaams Family. He is the worst keeper ever to play the game in Premier League history. He again let one through his legs v Chelsea for a loss that would make anyone cringe. He has done it THREE times in the last two months. Pathetic. Yet Rednapp keeps him...um...?

10. How about Morinhou saying that Barcelona are favoured by referees and remain unbeatable because of the favouritism of refs! Could be banned for a long time....

Wrap - Wayne's Pain

1. Does Wayne Bennett seem like he is getting bigger than the game? His pathetic 'I don't want to tell you where I am going' last Sunday was bizarre. By Wednesday he announces it to the world. Strange. Souths will be an unbeatable force with Michael Maguire. ..not. As Steve Kearney and he will learn without Cronk, Slater and Smith it does not matter how long you have spent underneath Bellamy. Matt Duffie has re-signed with Melbourne - not Parramatta. He knows this too.

Brian Smith starting to fray like every second season he has had at every club. He also has a terrible record with a drinking culture at the clubs he coaches. The Roosters are the leaders now - Myles, Carney, Friend, Watts. And he has Riddell writing a newspaper column on the top 20 players who he would like to drink with in the NRL. Coincidence - or an escape for his players?

Manly looking good, but what about the Broncos? No Lockyer changes that group big time in 2012, but while he is there it is pretty awesome.

2. AFL. Three draws in three weeks. Closer than normal. Big Buddy Franklin on fire. Crowds huge, but what a dud game in the wet. It should be postponed. Geelong not missing a beat and Collingwood should be given the flag now. A mile in front.

3. Rebels. Sign Beale and O'Connor. Just reinforces how there is not enough talent for FIVE teams in Australia. Reds under mackenzie have been awesome. He should be the Aussie coach. Great to see John O'Neill re-sign with the ARU. Things have never been better under him. Western Force is the biggest loser.

4. ManU losing to Man City and being bounced out of the FA Cup. Hard to fathom. Man City have won nothing forever and will hustle the injured Tevez back for the final no doubt.

5. Boston Red Sox. Terrible start to the Major League baseball season 3-10. Terrible when you are signing blokes for 20-30 million a season.

6. Great to see the PGA player - Kevin Na - who hit a 16 on a par 4. Fantastic. Long John Daly holds the PGA record of 18! Makes me look good. Do you want to play golf?...na.

7. More Joyous struggled in the wet, but what about the ride of Glen Boss on Aloha trying to win from the get go and stay in front. NO HOPE. Joke.

8. Jarryd Hayne. Is he the dumbest player in the game? He should be rubbed out for a couple of weeks for his head butt to give us all a rest from his hype.

9. Great to see Jana Pittman has brought her on again off again marriage to a halt. Her penchant for drama knows no bounds. Botched boob jobs, protracted knee injuries, relationship traumas, coaching staff fall outs, training camps overseas, family traumas, custody arguments, tattoos (turd stickers)...all cannot hide the fact that her form is awful.

10. Rivaling her is Mark Webber who is also fast becoming a joke on the world stage. He whinges, whines and complains. Again his form is not good. If a pot of gold landed in front of his car, he would tell the world how inconvenient it was without a trolley!

Wait for it though...he practises well, he trains well, he has never been fitter.....it's everyone else's fault.

11. Gilly and Warnie. Both dominating in the IPL. Did they retire too soon? Warne should be skipper now. He would have had three Ashes victories and a World Cup.

The Wrap - At Last

1. Parramatta. Get the wooden spoon out of your second draw at home and write their name on it. What a woeful performance, but is anyone surprised (apart from the Warriors and Cowboys who have lost to them in 2011)?

They are operating on massive salary cap unders this year and have bought terribly. I don't know about you, but I saw more positives when Daniel Anderson was coach. With fifty 'we've never trained harder' articles in the press, they are all a hoax.

Has anyone heard of a player or team who has not trained well during the week? Everyone is training well and 'didn't see it coming', even though 'we didn't turn up to play'...but in the end a loss is a loss is a loss.

They are a joke. Melbourne on fire but if 1, 7 or 9 are lost, so are their chances. That is called a salary cap.

2. Cricket. Clarke scores a ton against Bangladesh. Do we do handstands? Or do we ask why there is another worthless tournament overseas? And a quick presser from today's enthralling clash in game 2 of "the riveting, three game never-to-be repeated, must-not-miss-series. Hope: "Bangladesh captain Shakib Al Hasan won the toss and chose to bat first as Australia dropped Cameron White for Callum Ferguson for the second limited overs match at Mirpur". Finally someone has seen the light. Get rid of White. Ricky's chums are on the slide.

3. AFL. The Essendon resurgence is pretty impressive. James Hird has them firing. An old gellong coach there might be helping a touch too. Swans scored a great win in Perth. The Eagles may be back to something near formidable form. Adelaide in all clubs on the rocks.

4. Shamrocker. Great win along side Robbo's favourite horse, Black Caviar. Apparently Black Caviar tastes like horse shit.

5. Super 15. How bad is Perth going? They may go the way of the Perth Reds league team. Everything that comes out of there seems to fail....Kim Beasley, Damien Martyn, Mitchell Johnson, Perth Glory....

6. EPL. ManU will win in a canter. The rest are intimidated and cannot defeat the juggernaut.

7. Masters. Great efforts from Jason Day and Adam Scott - and Ogilvy. Day on debut was superb. Tiger formidable once more. The Greg Norman award goes to Rory McIlroy. Choked big time like the great white goldfish before him.

8. Can't wait for the Wayne Bennett announcement. He is apparently going to coach the Sydney Kings.

Wrap - Egos Out of Control

1. Some tight games in the NRL. The errors from Canberra at the end were appalling. Matt Orford is possibly the worst buy of the year so far. His error rate is staggering. Worst kicking game in the NRL. Sharks back to their usual soft tricks. Panthers better but still losing. Roosters finally click. Tigers in trouble with injuries. Manly not good on Friday nights and Souths look semi good but are still not fit enough to win the thing.

2. Luke Burt. Great kick on the siren. Beats Brett Kenny's record which is hard to fathom based on his ability in comparison. Kenny had a few other blokes who also scored points (Cronin, Ella, Grothe, Sterling), but Burt has NONE. Burt has always been good under pressure however.

3. India. Finally won the damn World Cup which has finished at long last. Sri Lanka brave in defeat. Their top order was superb throughout the tournament. Tendulkar was outstanding, but Gambhir is the new king. He rarely fails. Even inconsistent old Yuvraj held it together to win the best player of the tournament. Malinga was strong.

4. Wayne Rooney. Clown. Super talent - hits another hat trick - but finds a way to offend at every turn. Shut up and show some respect.

5. Michael Clarke. Does this bloke know no bounds? His effort at his 30th Birthday, walking along a road (like we would, but we are not in the public spotlight) and jumping on blokes for the newspaper and TV cameras shows us everything we hate about the bloke. Spoilt brat, no regard for the office of Australian Cricket captain, no dignity. An absolute show pony with too many tough stickers and not enough form. He may have the shortest reign of an Australian cricket captain since Graham Yallop.

6. Stephanie Rice. Looking superb, but will need to find form to oust others who work harder.

7. AFL. Some excellent games again in the AFL. Close games and tight tussles by and large. Swans a good win against James Hird's outstandingly revamped Essendon team. Even the Richmond side did well. Their usual poor Friday night form had gone temporarily. The Gold Coast Suns are a joke. Is expansion set to backfire? Too many teams - not enough quality players to go round.

8. Ricky Ponting. Batting on for how long? How obvious is it that this is going to end the wrong way? Also, can anyone believe how black and flowing Ricky's hair is all of a sudden. he must have spray on. He was never that hirsute.

9. Wayne Bennett. Thank goodness his charade is over. Back to the Broncos and give us all a rest. For a bloke who does not like personal arrangements splashed over the papers, he has done a great job of fuelling speculation.

10. How about those Rebels? A better year than most would have thought!

Wrap - Boo Hoo

1. It is official. Pakistan are off the punt. They seem different when Afridi is there. He is not on the payroll. Ponting does not walk again. He has lost the plot and every time he carries on like a goose, the team fails. His tantrum with Steve Smith (v Canada) was remarkable. The TV set damage, the lot. Smith seems a bit dumb. Ponting called him off the catch, but as skipper he needs to do better. He should go soon.

2. Again another Cameron White failure while Dave Hussey works on his latest cookbook recipes. The selections are terrible. There are a number of blokes who have nothing to do. Remember Callum Ferguson, John Hastings, Tim Paine, Dave Hussey. Are any worth a go?

3. NRL. Parra - terrible. Souths - worse! Cowboys...awful. Early days, but Storm looking strong again. Bellamy has done a great job to strengthen his squad. Inglis not missed! He has the best 1, 7 and 9 in the game. They are also rarely injured.

4. AFL. Where is that comp? Surely they do not need a week off after the famous NAB Cup!

5. Waratahs. Does it get any lower? Maybe only if you support the Rebels. They have massive problems and underline the fact that Rugby is not big enough a sport to sustain five Australian teams. A disgrace really with the number of juniors, school teams and club teams. Maybe the Tahs fans should boo that!

6. Shield Final. Pat Cummins - 17 years old and the best bowler in the game. Remarkable. He will probably be in the Australian team soon - before he does his back in. Old Shizenhaus got one to move yesterday. That is officially two deliveries in a summer. Hughes hitting form at the right time. Katich is the worst runner between the wickets outside of Watson. Scott Coyte is an imposter too. He bowls shorter than a Labor backbencher's future.

7. Tennis. Federer on the wane. Djokovic gets him again.

8. Chelsea need a win v Man City to stay in touch. The other clubs are closing the gap on the big name teams this season of EPL. A better comp all round. A tough premiership to win.