Wrapova

1. AFL Weekend of Upsets. An unbeaten Geelong losing to a fading Essendon was a shock. Nothing compared to Sydney's incompetent kicking display v Adelaide. Carlton surging and Richmond capitulating. Collingwood still flag favourites. Brisbane finally win something (Broncos, Reds, Roar are lapping this mob who have lost their stars).

2. NRL. What a horrible weekend of league. Parramatta confirmed their wooden spooner favouritism. I can exclusively reveal they have also signed Junior Paulo - yet another Islander. BIG news for the future demise of the club. Tautai from Cronulla looks likely to return to the club. They are travelling like Tiger airlines. Steve Kearney is under pressure. All the cheap imitations who feel they have once rubbed shoulders with Bellamy have all been duds. Look out Souths. Bellamy himself was an Origin coaching failure too.

The only clubs who are thriving are the Penrith Panthers (amazing what an axe over your head does for effort) and the Sharks and Knights. Can't wait for Ivan Cleary to arrive there. No personality whatsoever. Suits Gus' ego perhaps.

3. Kitova. Wins Wimbledon against Sharapova who is sadly getting a choking reputation the envy of Jana Novotna. Djokovic will be dismantled. He even struggled against Tomic. If your name does not end in 'c' or with an 'ova' retire now.

4. Reds won, but will be no match for the Crusaders who won on the road all year (earthquake inspired). They will take the Reds apart on Saturday as well.

5. Vetell. He is operating at an infinitely superior level to all other drivers. His record is near perfect, matched only by Casey Stoner. Could be one of the best ever.

6. Did anyone notice Australia's Marcus Ambrose carving them up in Daytona? No? Watch Cars 2 in the holidays with the kids to pick up the ending.

7. The West Indies look to be clawing their way back without Chris Gayle who is chasing $$ worldwide with his brand of power and care free looseness. Interesting that they are unveiling some new stars without the histrionics. Their wickets never turn and never get worse. Shocking from Day One.

8. Good to see So You Think's trainer talking of a return to Australia. Will be interesting to see how it fares in France. Shades of Phar Lap.

9. The Annual Tour La Needle festival is on again. Cadel Evans is possibly the crankiest man in world sport. Ricky Stuart, Allan Border, Mick Malthouse and Kevin Moore (giving him two weeks before the axe) are in the finals with him.