Wrap - If The Cap Fits...

Boys,

1. Let's start with Melbourne. Sometimes the arrogance of a sporting club is its undoing. Melbourne has this cornered. Even in defeat we had a selfish coach on his own in the sheds full of self pity - and NOT ONE WORD about the talent of the opposition only his normal range of cliches: 'this club has achieved great things this year' OR 'the club is in good shape' OR ' Our club is proud of its achievements'. Cue Dally M award speeches.

Humility and grace are a long way away. In the end their forwards were beaten. Their fullback made some surprising errors (although he once lost us a Tri Series v NZ with a brain snap). Their bench looked thin. Amazing thing that salary cap.

2. Geelong v Collingwood. So predictable and will be some sort of spectacle. Mick Malthouse's tears are like those of a crocodile. He gets no sympathy.

3. Grand Final Entertainment. Kelly Clarkson or Meatloaf? Fair dinkum. I wonder if the sound will go bad again this year. There is a great need to make it a professional occasion. Olympics standard?

What do we get? marching bands, some obscure youth rock band (Hillsong kickbacks), some dopey parachuter; a blackhawk helicopter, a RAAF flyover...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWN!

4. Rugby World Cup. Here is my theory. You get the minnows there and tell the referees that these games are to showcase free running rugby...no whistle basically. However as soon as it is a game of consequence...blow it up every two seconds so that the Northern Hemisphere's catastrophic stranglehold on rugby is sustained. That way you can pedal out the try scoring stats and make people believe the game is in good shape.

5. Tim Neilsen gone. Good. Ponting is next. This could happen real soon I am told. Can't believe Swampy has secured the Sri Lankan coaching gig. They too are a rabble over there as well.

6. Sir Alex Ferguson is the greatest whinger in world sport. Everytime they lose he attacks. Referees are loathe to offend as they know they will be dropped. He is quite the manipulator. Stoke City did real well and should be complimented.

7. Vettel. Give him the trophy and get back to practising for next year.

8. Day and Scott. This rivalry is bringing the best out of Adam Scott in particular. One -two in the world?