Monday, April 18, 2011

Wrap - Wayne's Pain

1. Does Wayne Bennett seem like he is getting bigger than the game? His pathetic 'I don't want to tell you where I am going' last Sunday was bizarre. By Wednesday he announces it to the world. Strange. Souths will be an unbeatable force with Michael Maguire. ..not. As Steve Kearney and he will learn without Cronk, Slater and Smith it does not matter how long you have spent underneath Bellamy. Matt Duffie has re-signed with Melbourne - not Parramatta. He knows this too.

Brian Smith starting to fray like every second season he has had at every club. He also has a terrible record with a drinking culture at the clubs he coaches. The Roosters are the leaders now - Myles, Carney, Friend, Watts. And he has Riddell writing a newspaper column on the top 20 players who he would like to drink with in the NRL. Coincidence - or an escape for his players?

Manly looking good, but what about the Broncos? No Lockyer changes that group big time in 2012, but while he is there it is pretty awesome.

2. AFL. Three draws in three weeks. Closer than normal. Big Buddy Franklin on fire. Crowds huge, but what a dud game in the wet. It should be postponed. Geelong not missing a beat and Collingwood should be given the flag now. A mile in front.

3. Rebels. Sign Beale and O'Connor. Just reinforces how there is not enough talent for FIVE teams in Australia. Reds under mackenzie have been awesome. He should be the Aussie coach. Great to see John O'Neill re-sign with the ARU. Things have never been better under him. Western Force is the biggest loser.

4. ManU losing to Man City and being bounced out of the FA Cup. Hard to fathom. Man City have won nothing forever and will hustle the injured Tevez back for the final no doubt.

5. Boston Red Sox. Terrible start to the Major League baseball season 3-10. Terrible when you are signing blokes for 20-30 million a season.

6. Great to see the PGA player - Kevin Na - who hit a 16 on a par 4. Fantastic. Long John Daly holds the PGA record of 18! Makes me look good. Do you want to play golf?...na.

7. More Joyous struggled in the wet, but what about the ride of Glen Boss on Aloha trying to win from the get go and stay in front. NO HOPE. Joke.

8. Jarryd Hayne. Is he the dumbest player in the game? He should be rubbed out for a couple of weeks for his head butt to give us all a rest from his hype.

9. Great to see Jana Pittman has brought her on again off again marriage to a halt. Her penchant for drama knows no bounds. Botched boob jobs, protracted knee injuries, relationship traumas, coaching staff fall outs, training camps overseas, family traumas, custody arguments, tattoos (turd stickers)...all cannot hide the fact that her form is awful.

10. Rivaling her is Mark Webber who is also fast becoming a joke on the world stage. He whinges, whines and complains. Again his form is not good. If a pot of gold landed in front of his car, he would tell the world how inconvenient it was without a trolley!

Wait for it though...he practises well, he trains well, he has never been fitter.....it's everyone else's fault.

11. Gilly and Warnie. Both dominating in the IPL. Did they retire too soon? Warne should be skipper now. He would have had three Ashes victories and a World Cup.

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Wrap - At Last

1. Parramatta. Get the wooden spoon out of your second draw at home and write their name on it. What a woeful performance, but is anyone surprised (apart from the Warriors and Cowboys who have lost to them in 2011)?

They are operating on massive salary cap unders this year and have bought terribly. I don't know about you, but I saw more positives when Daniel Anderson was coach. With fifty 'we've never trained harder' articles in the press, they are all a hoax.

Has anyone heard of a player or team who has not trained well during the week? Everyone is training well and 'didn't see it coming', even though 'we didn't turn up to play'...but in the end a loss is a loss is a loss.

They are a joke. Melbourne on fire but if 1, 7 or 9 are lost, so are their chances. That is called a salary cap.

2. Cricket. Clarke scores a ton against Bangladesh. Do we do handstands? Or do we ask why there is another worthless tournament overseas? And a quick presser from today's enthralling clash in game 2 of "the riveting, three game never-to-be repeated, must-not-miss-series. Hope: "Bangladesh captain Shakib Al Hasan won the toss and chose to bat first as Australia dropped Cameron White for Callum Ferguson for the second limited overs match at Mirpur". Finally someone has seen the light. Get rid of White. Ricky's chums are on the slide.

3. AFL. The Essendon resurgence is pretty impressive. James Hird has them firing. An old gellong coach there might be helping a touch too. Swans scored a great win in Perth. The Eagles may be back to something near formidable form. Adelaide in all clubs on the rocks.

4. Shamrocker. Great win along side Robbo's favourite horse, Black Caviar. Apparently Black Caviar tastes like horse shit.

5. Super 15. How bad is Perth going? They may go the way of the Perth Reds league team. Everything that comes out of there seems to fail....Kim Beasley, Damien Martyn, Mitchell Johnson, Perth Glory....

6. EPL. ManU will win in a canter. The rest are intimidated and cannot defeat the juggernaut.

7. Masters. Great efforts from Jason Day and Adam Scott - and Ogilvy. Day on debut was superb. Tiger formidable once more. The Greg Norman award goes to Rory McIlroy. Choked big time like the great white goldfish before him.

8. Can't wait for the Wayne Bennett announcement. He is apparently going to coach the Sydney Kings.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Wrap - Egos Out of Control

1. Some tight games in the NRL. The errors from Canberra at the end were appalling. Matt Orford is possibly the worst buy of the year so far. His error rate is staggering. Worst kicking game in the NRL. Sharks back to their usual soft tricks. Panthers better but still losing. Roosters finally click. Tigers in trouble with injuries. Manly not good on Friday nights and Souths look semi good but are still not fit enough to win the thing.

2. Luke Burt. Great kick on the siren. Beats Brett Kenny's record which is hard to fathom based on his ability in comparison. Kenny had a few other blokes who also scored points (Cronin, Ella, Grothe, Sterling), but Burt has NONE. Burt has always been good under pressure however.

3. India. Finally won the damn World Cup which has finished at long last. Sri Lanka brave in defeat. Their top order was superb throughout the tournament. Tendulkar was outstanding, but Gambhir is the new king. He rarely fails. Even inconsistent old Yuvraj held it together to win the best player of the tournament. Malinga was strong.

4. Wayne Rooney. Clown. Super talent - hits another hat trick - but finds a way to offend at every turn. Shut up and show some respect.

5. Michael Clarke. Does this bloke know no bounds? His effort at his 30th Birthday, walking along a road (like we would, but we are not in the public spotlight) and jumping on blokes for the newspaper and TV cameras shows us everything we hate about the bloke. Spoilt brat, no regard for the office of Australian Cricket captain, no dignity. An absolute show pony with too many tough stickers and not enough form. He may have the shortest reign of an Australian cricket captain since Graham Yallop.

6. Stephanie Rice. Looking superb, but will need to find form to oust others who work harder.

7. AFL. Some excellent games again in the AFL. Close games and tight tussles by and large. Swans a good win against James Hird's outstandingly revamped Essendon team. Even the Richmond side did well. Their usual poor Friday night form had gone temporarily. The Gold Coast Suns are a joke. Is expansion set to backfire? Too many teams - not enough quality players to go round.

8. Ricky Ponting. Batting on for how long? How obvious is it that this is going to end the wrong way? Also, can anyone believe how black and flowing Ricky's hair is all of a sudden. he must have spray on. He was never that hirsute.

9. Wayne Bennett. Thank goodness his charade is over. Back to the Broncos and give us all a rest. For a bloke who does not like personal arrangements splashed over the papers, he has done a great job of fuelling speculation.

10. How about those Rebels? A better year than most would have thought!