Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wrap - Old Warhorses

1. Katich. More balls than the Qantas CEO! Taking on the truth in the public arena. Clarke's reaction confirms it as fact for mine. (By the way, the CEO is gone. He simply does not understand Australians). Clarke may wish to explain what happened after that Test in question.

2. That Daniel Smith innings of 185 in the one dayer today was something out of the box. He is a coach of the new franchise in the KFC Cricket Silliness at year's end. Not a bad audition for blokes to listen to him. 12 sixes is pretty unusual, but what about banning North Sydney Oval. Everything that is in that joint is doomed.

3. League. Liked the Aussie display on Sat. morning, but without Lockyer we will be a different team. The referee let blokes lie all over the ruck. It was back to the 1970's! At a trivia night recently, a question: Who was the 1984 Australian league captain? Answer below.

4. Michael Hussey was superb again on Sat v Sth Africa to win the series. He is our best bat over the last year or so and will be the AB medallist next year. No risk. On the other hand, Brad Haddin needs to be chopped. He is a risk and is reckless under pressure. When has he gutsed it out in recent memory?

5. AFL International Rules. The annual laugh. Fancy accepting into that farce as a player or coach. AFL is made to look like a joke. Needs to be canned.

6. Baseball. St Louis Cardinals win in extraordinary circumstances. Texas - with the only banned coach for drug taking as a coach in world sport - were very disappointing. Should have won but did not. Story ends.

7. Chelsea in trouble after losing at home and conceeding 5 goals. need a new keeper. He was terrible.

8. The Cup. Great time at the Spring carnival. Americain will be hard to stop over the distance....again.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Wrap - Shizenhaus

1. Australia v Wales. Third place playoffs seem a bit ridiculous, but a tidy win. Has Quayde Cooper actually helped make the tournament into something worth watching? Too few tries overall and some more space is urgently required between the defensive lines.

New Zealand. Should have won about four of the bloody things. Hippy hippy shakes with the goal kicking early (three from three missed). Winning it without Dan Carter is some sort of achievement. The end of the longest Rugby World Cup in history. Like the timing of their Public Holiday tomorrow. Could be better drinkers than the Aussies in time.

2. Black Caviar. How good? Racing four others is a surrender. Soon it will race no one. Surely there is something out there that can knock it over soon. Two or three years in horse racing is a VERY long time.

3. Had to laugh, In Saturday's Daily Telegraph, Greg Chappell - the well known failed, prickly cricketing coach - was telling the world about how to transform Australian cricket!!! Maybe he should have done this when he had a job. He won't be missed and is almost unemployable in world cricket. He has never really endeared himself to the Australian people - as a player, coach or administrator. When it is all said and done, everyone struggles to get the underarm incident out of their minds. He has not smiled for ten years.

4. League. Jason Ryles will be at Melbourne next year. This was confirmed last week to us on site. He had his buck's day in our marquee at Caulfield Cup Day. Marrying Allan McMahon's daughter. No truth to the rumour that this was arranged by a lot of people (esp. ex coaches) because Allan was known for his booming punt kick - something he will no doubt need to deliver to Ryles up his oversized clacker.

Can anyone quite believe they are queuing up for Todd Carney? It has to be in the far too hard basket.

5. A League. The standard - and the crowds - is an improvement. It may actually be helping our national side too.

6. Cricket. A tired old crop and suddenly Cummins joins them. He will be burnt badly as normal as well. What about Nathan Bracken? Suing Cricket Australia because he wore hair bands and lost all cred.

7. Meatloaf has called the AFL big wigs - "butt sniffers" and blamed everyone but himself for his miserable display. Add that to the supreme display by the unfortunately named Albert Pujols for the St Louis Cardinals yesterday (they lead 2-1 over the Texas Rangers) and suddenly shite was hitting a lot of fans.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Wrap - Air Swinging Parties

Is there a more boring week in footy than the lead up to the Grand Final. By the time Sunday comes, everyone is near glad the bloody thing is finished. Wives, ex players, club officials, coaches, girlfriends, rumours, mystery illnesses, more breakfasts than Kellogs...crap...just play the game.

1. GF. Tiring of poor entertainment, but nothing ever changes. They need to plan things a little more. It can't be that hard! The NRL had a blackhawk helicopter land on the field and then go (nearly as unreliable as the Warriors' hands). BIG DEAL! Saw the 100 metre sprint from the AFL players at half time. Reminded me of the League Olympics from many years ago - amateurs and no names. Meatloaf is all washed up. He has to be banned. A disgrace.

Manly too good. Try on half time was the killer. Warriors tried to go too straight for mine. When they spread the ball they found space later in the game but it was too late. Can anyone seriously tell me that Inu and Mateo were great losses to Parramatta? Brilliant then mind numbingly dumb. Cherry-Evans should have won Churchill for mine - not Glen Stewart.

Anyone noticed that big Manu does not drop the ball when he is a chance of scoring a try? - only at the other end!!!

2. Geelong. Awesome at the back end of the game. Too good and served up it all nicely to 'Bomber' Thompson whose success is also now attributable to a sensational roster and talent. When though are the AFL going to come into the new era of technology? The inexplicable mistake when the Collingwood kick hit the post can be a monumental blunder. The difference between a 1 point and a 6 point outcome in a clutch match is too extreme.

3. Interesting to note that Joe Galuvao has joined FIVE clubs in the NRL: Penrith, Warriors, Souths, Parramatta and Manly. A highly successful career for him as well with three GF appearances for two wins. Ivan Cleary played for four as well - Norths, Manly, Easts, Warriors - with Panthers becoming a fifth (coached) club.

4. Sad to see the Nawab of Pataudi die last week. Only had one eye and hit quite a few Test tons. fair effort. An eye like a dead fish...truer now than ever before.

5. Kevin Na is at it again. After getting a 17 or something on one hole as a pro last year, he is now doing an air swing in the worst named tournament on the PGS Tour - "The Justin Timberlake" in Las Vegas. It looks like an effort on a Buck's weekend from me. Terrible really - and he got away with it.

6. No Dan Carter? No World Cup? NZ will be panicking now. Nothing the Wallabies can't fix with their ineptitude. Great to see Tonga beat France who laid down really already being certain of progressing to the next stage. So we go to: NZ v Argentina/ England v France/ Ireland v Wales/ Sth Africa v Wallabies. NZ, England, Ireland, Wallabies for mine.

7. Can anyone seriously believe a bloke on $80,000 a week would steal a donut. ManU's new keeper did it. Surely not. Man City looking strong. Tevez needs to go home. Refused to go on and play last week!

8. Has anyone had enough of 20/20 cricket yet? The Champions League 20/20 will do this quicker than most tournaments. Fancy giving one point for a wash out. This kills a team off for good. A boring, tired tournament that no one really cares about. Cricket has problems. Player bank managers do not.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Wrap - If The Cap Fits...

Boys,

1. Let's start with Melbourne. Sometimes the arrogance of a sporting club is its undoing. Melbourne has this cornered. Even in defeat we had a selfish coach on his own in the sheds full of self pity - and NOT ONE WORD about the talent of the opposition only his normal range of cliches: 'this club has achieved great things this year' OR 'the club is in good shape' OR ' Our club is proud of its achievements'. Cue Dally M award speeches.

Humility and grace are a long way away. In the end their forwards were beaten. Their fullback made some surprising errors (although he once lost us a Tri Series v NZ with a brain snap). Their bench looked thin. Amazing thing that salary cap.

2. Geelong v Collingwood. So predictable and will be some sort of spectacle. Mick Malthouse's tears are like those of a crocodile. He gets no sympathy.

3. Grand Final Entertainment. Kelly Clarkson or Meatloaf? Fair dinkum. I wonder if the sound will go bad again this year. There is a great need to make it a professional occasion. Olympics standard?

What do we get? marching bands, some obscure youth rock band (Hillsong kickbacks), some dopey parachuter; a blackhawk helicopter, a RAAF flyover...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWN!

4. Rugby World Cup. Here is my theory. You get the minnows there and tell the referees that these games are to showcase free running rugby...no whistle basically. However as soon as it is a game of consequence...blow it up every two seconds so that the Northern Hemisphere's catastrophic stranglehold on rugby is sustained. That way you can pedal out the try scoring stats and make people believe the game is in good shape.

5. Tim Neilsen gone. Good. Ponting is next. This could happen real soon I am told. Can't believe Swampy has secured the Sri Lankan coaching gig. They too are a rabble over there as well.

6. Sir Alex Ferguson is the greatest whinger in world sport. Everytime they lose he attacks. Referees are loathe to offend as they know they will be dropped. He is quite the manipulator. Stoke City did real well and should be complimented.

7. Vettel. Give him the trophy and get back to practising for next year.

8. Day and Scott. This rivalry is bringing the best out of Adam Scott in particular. One -two in the world?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Wrap - Shadow Boxing

Boys,

1. One thing is certain now - Melbourne are in the GF with the Warriors winning on the weekend. It would be some sort of miracle for either Manly or the Storm to be beaten. The week off these days in such a brutal version of the game is a major advantage. Lockyer is still the most dangerous pivot in the game when running the ball at the line.

2. Now here's a pattern. You beat some tough teams - then lose to a terrible team. Welcome to Wallabies Deans Rugby Union. Think Samoa. Think Ireland now. Deans has had fifty tests and are we any closer to consistency and consolidated progress? This game is in dire shape really. Whenever there is a game that matters, out comes the rulebook and whistle. "Look For the Solution - Not the Problem". Referees look for the problem, always in rugby. When minnows play, it is free flowing...

2A. AFL. Stop the lot and play the GF. Has there been a more lopsided comp in the history of Australian sport? Something is wrong here. Even coaches show no loyalty. The likes of GWS getting what was STUPIDLY agreed by all clubs (one uncontracted player from each club) plus a wealth of draft picks is starting to show everyone what big money does to ruin a code.

3. Cricket. Suddenly Australia are in danger of losing the test and leaving with a 1-1 result. 100 plus behind and two days to play. These things seem to happen to us a lot when Siddle plays. Typical display from us overseas. The deciding test rarely falls our way. Hussey in some sort of form and Nathan Lyon not bringing the wickets needed. This Angelo Matthews is a freak. Maybe the next huge thing from Sri Lanka.

4. Davis Cup. A great teams event but will we ever return to the World Group? Even if we did it would be for a year. Tomic has had a tough initiation and Hewitt fights gamely but gives away free points too often as well. That is why he is not in the top echelons of world tennis.

5. Boys get a look at Floyd Mayweather's bout v Victor Ortiz. The ref stops the fight momentarily after a headbutt and Ortiz is talking to the ref and Mayweather cracks him twice while he is not shaping up...joke! Then Mayweather picks a fight with the ring announcer...older than Ray Warren. He magnificently said in reply..." I wish I was FIFTY years younger and I would kick your ass". Gold. It is something special - particularly the commentator's facial expressions.

Have a look at: http://www.foxsports.com.au/Other+Sports/mayweather-ko/video-e6frf56c-1226140207846?subcat=1225914720791&site=FoxSports

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Wrap - Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow

1. What the hell has happened to Gus Gould's hair? Far be it for me to comment, but fair dinkum. He looks like Bee Sting Buddha at Schoolies Week.

2. AFL. Geelong and Collingwood might just be looking over their shoulders at the Swans. A strong win v St Kilda. How about the interchange rule with the yellow markings on the ground - and a 50 metre penalty for a minor violation!!

3. Swampy Marsh looks like he has eaten a sheep. Shaun Marsh batted responsibly and suddenly we did not miss Ponting. Surely Ponting is near the end. When the kids arrive, so does retirement. Hussey in rich form. He is the new Graeme Wood. When the axe hovers, pull out a ton. By the way, Swampy has worn the same shirt for three days in a row!

Tony Greig is officially fat. He is unable to pick a coin off the pitch anymore.

Also, interesting to see Trent Copeland - a pace bowler - fielding in the slips. Who was the last Australian to do this? Clem? Not many blokes who have bowled pace and fielded in the slips (Botham, Kallis, Pollock, Watson - Garner at gully). Plenty of spinners (Geoff Miller, Warnie, Swan, Harper, Roo Yardley).

4. Manly looked gone at half time - and unbeatable at full time. Broncos impressive against one of the most disrepectful teams of possession in the finals from living memory. Tigers the sleeper.

TWO in line for the STEVE MAVIN Award (For the Most Hopeless Joke of A Finals Performance): 1. Matt Utai and 2. Manu Vatavei. Fatty was suggesting a brain transplant and half time for Manu. Others were suggesting a new club or new code.

5. Can anyone explain the black jersey for the English team at the RWC? Surely that is why they could barely beat Argentina. A disgrace. Great to see Namibia, Romania, Japan, Fiji and the Minnows. Like ALL world cups, create an "ALSO RANS WORLD CUP" to take these time wasters out of the mix.

6. Wallabies. Lots of hype. Tough at half time and a sensational second half. Italians looked tough, but fell in a heap once the ref tucked the whistle away. 15 penalties in the first half! Joke.

7. Socceroos doing well under the new regime. Dominating in Asia really and the other Asian teams can't be happy with our inclusion.

8. Sam Stosur. Much maligned, but will be one of the great upsets if she can beat Serena Williams. A great effort to get this far. Wozniacki is a major disappointment. Federer too is fading. He was ineffective late v Djokovic. He seemingly gave up.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Wrap - Green Tights, No Fights

1. Anyone sick of the sight of 'non-offending' blokes looking like Middle East Peacekeepers, praising other 'offending' blokes in the NRL when they make an error? This Seppo crapola has reached epidemic proportions. They need a blast and they need to be told to lift their game. Not hugged and kissed like a visit from the Pope.

Tiring of the player farewell too. Now we get: 'his last game in QLD/ NSW', 'his last Origin', 'his last game at Lang Park', 'his last game for his club', his last kick..spit..tackle...'...and on it goes.

2. Good to see Nathan Lyon get some wickets. Even Beau Casson may have turned one on that deck. What about our mental state on decks like that? We really lack backbone and go to water when the pressure is on. Jayawardene could well have stolen the game from us. Hussey is tough. Ponting's pull shot has reached comical proportions (like mine). His effort in the second dig when his bat was hurtling well into mid wicket before he was caught was laughable.

3. On the cricket, I am sick of the referral system. It slows the game and makes for poor viewing. It cultivates dissension and argument on the field and disempowers the umpire. Intriguingly, when a replay proves an umpire was correct we are nearly in shock. The thing is geared too heavily in line with the bowling team. How would some of the dodgy umpires of the past survived? Speaking of which...Steve Randell may be out of jail soon.

4. Manly look shaky to me when away from home. Also off their game after the balls up of their management with the Glenn Stewart farce. Canterbury ended higher up than they should have, but Jim Dymock will be happy with a new job. Souths soft. Parramatta still let in another try on or after the bell...Newcastle will be minced in week one. Cowboys and Warriors will fade fast too. Neutral grounds will make some teams less potent. Tigers dark horse.

5. Great effort from Sally Pearson to win the hurdles at the World Championships. Rough head. Gruff voice. Sponsor obsessed. Good pace. Is she the only medallist in the last few who has beaten that many black athletes in a track final?

6. Can Sonny Bill possibly be linked with any other club, nation or franchise? He has set a new record in scandal and innuendo. Todd Carney can't compete. Carney better go and play for the Toulon Tools immediately. They must have some sort of rehab set up in that part of France.

7. Fantastic to see that failed slow joke of a ref - Paddy O'Brien - tell us all that the Rugby World Cup refs are going to toughen up and blow more penalties. Is this possible? Can more penalties possibly exist?

8. Loving the tattoo ban from the Roosters for next year. It should be a recruitment "box to tick" (God knows a lot of people do a lot of box ticking in a week these days..."at the end of the day" of course). No GOOSE box.

9. What about Zorba. He fair dinkum looks like a bad used car salesman...but he knows a good sort when he sees one. Now let's list all the other things he could have said instead....

10. AFL. Swans will get lapped at Ethiad at night. They are a daytime / daylight team. Collingwood will bounce back. Geelong will also be hard to toss. The rest...get your green tights out for mad Monday.