Wrap - Overcoming Sandpaupers and Paine-staking Ashes

1. The Ashes. The pathetic softness by our batting was best revealed in the pre Test shootout between our batters. Most players got single figures in both teams. This then continued at Edgbaston in the first Test as well. Our openers with their sandpaper memories and the boos needed to did deep and really be patient. They were sloppy. Warner's form in England has never been great. He has never hit a ton there. He needs to knuckle down and get hectic. My worries re Bancroft's temperament have been founded. He needs to be rested already. Marcus Harris needs to enter the fray.


We also need to quietly remember that these are two teams not at the top of world Test cricket. England (4) v Australia (5).


The selectors are clearly overthinking things. Too much left hander/ right hander obsession. Is Greg Chappell still sniffing around or has he gone? Fancy not playing Starc and thinking that Rory Burns was a soft dismissal that would be easily achieved? Brad Haddin has said that the rest/ rotation policy needed to occur across the series (please...). Rory Burns batted all day and we had nothing - not even Carpet Burns. In fact, Cummins bowled around the wicket to him at one stage, inadvertently emphasising how silly the decision to omit Starc actually was. Sure, Hazelwood rarely gets big wicket hauls, but nor does Siddle. When Matthew Wade is needed to bowl it shows the error too.


The crowds were not strong in number really either. Small grounds. However the theatre and excitement when Steve Smith was in full flight was incredible. A great theatre for cricket at Edgbaston. Smith has been extraordinary and really it is time for Paine to exit quietly and let the real captain takeover. This batting was the quality of a batsman who knows how to lead. Paine meanwhile is painstaking - and his batting in complete ashes...


The crowd's rendition of "He's got sandpaper in his hands..." was very funny. They sing like no other nation those Pommies. However, how much do we love a pompous, arrogant Englishman who thinks their lolly rubbing on the ball and other tactics with zippers on the ball are all forgotten. They are a strange lot.
The efforts of the bowlers are worth congratulating, but Siddle still looks like a trundler. Lyon may be the key man. An Edgbaston Test can turn on its head at times.


2. NRL. Melbourne Storm should do the lap of honour now. No one gets close to them unless there is a major injury to Cameron Smith or someone else like Munster or Chambers. Brisbane, Warriors are finished. Penrith are too (pathetic loss to the Berries) and it looks like the Knights as well. Tigers are rallying and with the semi finals up for grabs, Parramatta. The eight looks like: Melbourne, Roosters, Souths, Raiders...Sea Eagles, Sharks, Tigers.. Eels? St George have a great roster but have been awful. Their coach is under immense pressure.


3. The Gold Coast. I have called for it to be banned for all sporting teams and nothing changes my mind. Thumped in every code. Justin Holbrook is crazy. A cash pit.


4. AFL. GWS again beat the Swans - and the Swans lose by less than a goal for the fourth or fifth time this season. Richmond march on. Geelong are weak...they need to switch on and start dominating or they will bow out early, despite the excellent start to the season. West Coast could do a Storm and sneak back to back titles!


5. Robbie Farah. Almost gone, but continues to mouth off. As a bloke with ability, his attitude has held him back a lot. He needs to become the world president of Lebanon Rugby League now. Oh and don't forget a beer on the scoreboard before you go...


6. Nathan Brown to Jesse Ramien..."I won't take it personally that you want a new club and are looking around without telling me.  So don't take this personally... take your gear and go!". They say that Ramien may head to the Storm. He won't be getting the dollars he seeks there either. has talent however.


7. Tennis. Kgyrios winning in Washington, but can never exhibit enough discipline to win when the whips are cracking. Not getting anywhere near Federer, Djokovic or Nadal in the US Open. Will enjoy the seniors tour when he gets there.