Wrap - Cricket Fiascos

1. Cricket Fiasco 1 - Boundary Ropes. These have become a scourge on the modern game of cricket. Sure, more advertising space for betting companies (has anyone noticed the new growth industry of money grabbing companies on TV - Nimble, Cash Train and Wallet Cash). Boundary ropes are also too far in and they have become a circus that slows the whole show down. Is it too much to ask that if the ball hits the rope it is four...The current situation is one of the few places Pythagoras' Theorem is still applied.

2. Cricket Fiasco 2 -Giant Sightscreens. When did it become necessary for giant sightscreens and cloth covers knocking out hundreds of seats...? Has it added anything to the game? There have been batsmen who saw the ball better with a sight screen you pushed into place with half cut idiots hanging off the side. Precious current players.

3. Cricket Fiasco 3 - Run Outs. This business where the bat can bounce up despite the fact you have already made your ground. Please! How does this work...? Grounded once = safe!

4. Cricket Fiasco 4 - the sightscreen that doesn't turn around and delays play. A cracker.

5. Are we missing any of these great cricket memories?

A. The Crowd rushing onto the field to field the ball mid game before the ball reaches the boundary...before it hits the boundary.

B. The crowd running on to shake hands or do the back slap for the ton (last bloke was Fat Cat Ritchie at Sabina Park in the Windies).

C. The crowd leaning over the fence to get the ground ball then throwing it back over the chasing player's head.

D. Players driving around the ground hanging out the Benson and Hedges International Cricketer of the Year Car. The Benson and Hedges signage? The car itself on display at the ground?

E. TV commentary: the recorded voice grab when you get off the mark, getting to fifty, reaching the tin..."it's always great to get off the mark..."

F. The MCG practice wickets.

G. Sideline cranky player interviews when players get out.

H. The dog track at The Gabba and the QLD Cricketers Club umbrellas.

I. The post match shadows in the terribly lit MOTM ceremony with AW Greig.

J. The pre-match weather wall.

K. Richie late night highlights show post ODI's in Sydney.

I. The Sidchrome spanners advertsements.

6. Newcastle Knights. The joint is a joke. After the private ownership debacle, the loss of Sims (Broncos traitor), Pauli Pauli (car crash) and Jarrod Mullen (drugs) just about guarantees them the wooden spoon. They are hogging the headlines from Parramatta. Unfair.

7. Virat Kohli. I am predicting three tons v Australia. He has immense strength and steel. Remarkably, he averages over fifty in all three forms of the game. NO OTHER batsman does this. Could be the greatest since Bradman (or Voges). Incredible.

8. Steve Smith is also awesome. Memo: Steve Smith lose the headband. Nathan Bracken is our only sad headband wearer.

9. Sir Andy? Please...these knighthoods are given out like confetti. I think Ian Bell has one too. His loss is the most exciting thing to happen in Australian TV since Fran Powell won the Mercedes on Sale of the Century. Roger and Rafa may be stronger chances now. Stan The Man will take some beating though.

10. Is the smartest and luckiest athlete all week, year and century, Ben Hunt? He is a glaring oddity when placed alongside blokes on a similar salary - Inglis, Thurston, Boyd...Good luck to him. Saints are desperate.

11. Bagging Selectors. I thought I did a good job of this, but enter nearly every spinner in Australia - Jon Holland, Adam Zampa... Although these names selected in recent times bring cause for concern: Boland, Worrall, Mennie, Maddinson, Cartwright, Stanlake...unluckiest of all is Chadd Sayers who never ever got a start!

12. Pakistan. Terrible fielding. Terrible attitude. You would not know if they are fixing matches they are so bad. Their supporters bought every bit of cardboard from every shop pre game - still not enough!