Wrap - Under The Blowtorch

1. Parramatta. I almost choked on my raw eel cornflakes this morning. New coach Ricky Stuart, who had trumpeted great things from a FULL STRENGTH Parramatta team in the Saturday evening National 9 News, was thumped by the Tigers. THUMPED by 40. He proceeded to tell us that he is not worried about the scoreline....what the hell worries you Ricky? A trial yes, but it might just be a familiar scoreline.

A second spoon beckons - especially granted that Ricky in recent weeks has also missed out on Tamou, Scott and Thurston. He keeps trying to sign blokes (Corey Norman from the Broncos?) who recognise the farce that is the Eels. Tim Mannah needs to step up. Tough off season with his family situation, but on pure football, 2013 needs to be a year where he shows what he has got. To date, we have seen very little. As for the rest....

2. Arsenal. Wenger. last time they won anything, Wegner had brown hair. This once mighty club is in free fall. Soft and getting softer.

3. Lucas Neill - Frank Farina.  More inviting than Melbourne Heart who will fold before too long. Australian born coaches are certainly how the comp should progress and they are weeding the overseas mediocre kick backs out one by one.

4. A huge atmosphere at Sydney Wanderers games. This club is changing Australian football. The chanting and spirit is amazing! EPL stuff. Their defensive players are superb. Make sure you watch this mob. It could be one of the most impressive things in Australian sport in 2012-2013.

5. Have you seen that 7 foot Pakistan bowler, Irfan? A young Wasim Akram. Immense talent. Premature retirements, spats with the board, injuries, blacklistings, gunfire at opponents' buses, mystery deaths of coaches, imprisonments...and still Pakistan remains competitive. A schemozzle, but still unbelievably talented as a group. They need a new keeper however. Nawaz is hopeless.

6. Aaron Finch. This Victorian bloke talks up a good game but has been horrible at international level. He needs to talk to Brad Hodge. Victorian batsmen (Dean Jones and Matthew Elliot excepted) have been a major disappointment...Weiner, Whatmore, Moss, Laughlin, O'Donnell, Graf, Matthew Elliot (the dud), Chris Rogers, Cameron White and Rob Quiney. Dave Hussey dropped and now Maxwell struggling. The horrible form continues, despite the bullying of Shield bowlers. Merv Hughes has a better Test batting record than most of these blokes.

7. Australian cricket in India. We are kidding. Clarke will choose his mate Henriques who should not play Test cricket (like Steve Smith) on his 2012 form. Started well but has catastrophically crashed. Our spinners are laughable. Xavier Doherty is lucky Laxman, Dravid and Ganguly have retired, or he would need to bowl for the next two weeks to get them out. We could be looking at a lean, lean tour.

7. Black Caviar. Some sort of legend there. An incredible win - especially with the time it ran. It clearly is the best we have seen. Phar Lap won 37/50 or thereabouts with fourteen straight. 24 in a row may become 28. Twice as good.