Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Wrap - A Scathing Assessment!

After last week's 'papering over the cracks' wrap, this week, the cracks are wider than a Mitchell Johnson straight ball. How can you lose form that badly in a week?

Hey and if you thought Johnson bowled poorly, his duck today was his SEVENTH for the year!!!! Can you believe that? Millionaire who does not really give a stuff sadly.

Ricky Ponting needs to get off the Suisse tablets immediately. Ever since he has been taking them he has gone to the Suisse shiezenhaus. Also, Greg Chappell's arrival has coincided with his customary string of failures that he brings the world of cricket...India, South Australia. He is the human hex.

Phil Hughes has played his last Test. He is frail mentally and has not hit a run this year. Who selected him? Merv Hughes could do well to seek a recall.

Ed Cowan will probably be selected for Sydney. James Anderson is having fun with our useless openers. Shane Watson played the worst innings imaginable - being dropped twice before a lame dismissal. He has more endorsements than a Hillsong preacher and about as sincere. How much does an Ashes series mean to some of these blokes?

Clarke, Hussey and Haddin did not move their feet and I hate to say it, but they looked scared. Scared of defeat and not prepared to muscle up. Dean Jones had spoken last week about being incredibly patient then reaping rewards late in the day. England listened.

Ponting is trying so hard not to play the pull shot he is playing that half rsed leg glance which he tried his hardest to get out to today as well. He has some major problems.

Sure the deck was moving around. The shade was over the ground - until the moment England batted, but their bowlers are simply better than ours. Even their reserves - Tremlett and Brosnan are better than ours.

Hilfenhaus last got a wicket in the Test series v Pakistan. HE IS TERRIBLE. He looked second and third rate against the Poms' display. Here are our stats for the 2010 year (sure, some injury affected, but look at the averages):

Hilfenhaus - 16 wkts at 43. SR of 88.0!!! has there been a worse record in recent history? (Tassie mafia looking after him. Has NEVER got five wkts in an innings in tests).
Johnson - 38 wkts at 33.55. SR of 56.
Siddle - 13 wkts at 35.69. SR of 71 (incl. 6 in one innings). Must go.
Watson - 19 wkts at 26. SR of 49
Harris - 20 wkts at 21.35. SR of 40.6.
Marcus North has a better strike rate than most of the so called strike bowlers!!!!

How will that lot get you an Ashes victory?

Look at England (who played more tests but not all against minnows):

Anderson - 56 wkts at 22.10. SR of 47.
Swann - 62 wkts at 25.85. SR 53.
Finn - 46 wkts at 26.23. SR of 39.
Tremlett - 12 wkts at 14.66. SR of 29.
Bresnan - 13 wkts at 32.30. SR of 67.5.
Broad - 26 wkts at 37.69. SR of 76.7 (injury struck before the axe did).

Steve Smith is too raw. He makes you want Marcus North back in the team. His leg spin looks like Cameron White on heat. If someone suggests Beer should have played, they should be beaten around the khahunas with a six pack. He got belted in the nets the other day and looked bad on the news report.

Clarke is also falling fast. He has a lack of starch in his character and needs to be instantly removed from 20-20 cricket or he will be just making Western Suburbs first grade soon.

It has been a cataclysmic day for Australian cricket. Possibly the worst since Graham Yallop led us to stunning defeat in the late 70's. We have a long day or two ahead. To win the Ashes from here would be a miracle.

The weather in Melbourne also looks too good to be a factor. A deserved loss is coming fast unless someone does something stunning.

Even Melbourne's crowd deserted the bastards late in the day.

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