After last week's 'papering over the cracks' wrap, this week, the cracks are wider than a Mitchell Johnson straight ball. How can you lose form that badly in a week?
Hey and if you thought Johnson bowled poorly, his duck today was his SEVENTH for the year!!!! Can you believe that? Millionaire who does not really give a stuff sadly.
Ricky Ponting needs to get off the Suisse tablets immediately. Ever since he has been taking them he has gone to the Suisse shiezenhaus. Also, Greg Chappell's arrival has coincided with his customary string of failures that he brings the world of cricket...India, South Australia. He is the human hex.
Phil Hughes has played his last Test. He is frail mentally and has not hit a run this year. Who selected him? Merv Hughes could do well to seek a recall.
Ed Cowan will probably be selected for Sydney. James Anderson is having fun with our useless openers. Shane Watson played the worst innings imaginable - being dropped twice before a lame dismissal. He has more endorsements than a Hillsong preacher and about as sincere. How much does an Ashes series mean to some of these blokes?
Clarke, Hussey and Haddin did not move their feet and I hate to say it, but they looked scared. Scared of defeat and not prepared to muscle up. Dean Jones had spoken last week about being incredibly patient then reaping rewards late in the day. England listened.
Ponting is trying so hard not to play the pull shot he is playing that half rsed leg glance which he tried his hardest to get out to today as well. He has some major problems.
Sure the deck was moving around. The shade was over the ground - until the moment England batted, but their bowlers are simply better than ours. Even their reserves - Tremlett and Brosnan are better than ours.
Hilfenhaus last got a wicket in the Test series v Pakistan. HE IS TERRIBLE. He looked second and third rate against the Poms' display. Here are our stats for the 2010 year (sure, some injury affected, but look at the averages):
Hilfenhaus - 16 wkts at 43. SR of 88.0!!! has there been a worse record in recent history? (Tassie mafia looking after him. Has NEVER got five wkts in an innings in tests).
Johnson - 38 wkts at 33.55. SR of 56.
Siddle - 13 wkts at 35.69. SR of 71 (incl. 6 in one innings). Must go.
Watson - 19 wkts at 26. SR of 49
Harris - 20 wkts at 21.35. SR of 40.6.
Marcus North has a better strike rate than most of the so called strike bowlers!!!!
How will that lot get you an Ashes victory?
Look at England (who played more tests but not all against minnows):
Anderson - 56 wkts at 22.10. SR of 47.
Swann - 62 wkts at 25.85. SR 53.
Finn - 46 wkts at 26.23. SR of 39.
Tremlett - 12 wkts at 14.66. SR of 29.
Bresnan - 13 wkts at 32.30. SR of 67.5.
Broad - 26 wkts at 37.69. SR of 76.7 (injury struck before the axe did).
Steve Smith is too raw. He makes you want Marcus North back in the team. His leg spin looks like Cameron White on heat. If someone suggests Beer should have played, they should be beaten around the khahunas with a six pack. He got belted in the nets the other day and looked bad on the news report.
Clarke is also falling fast. He has a lack of starch in his character and needs to be instantly removed from 20-20 cricket or he will be just making Western Suburbs first grade soon.
It has been a cataclysmic day for Australian cricket. Possibly the worst since Graham Yallop led us to stunning defeat in the late 70's. We have a long day or two ahead. To win the Ashes from here would be a miracle.
The weather in Melbourne also looks too good to be a factor. A deserved loss is coming fast unless someone does something stunning.
Even Melbourne's crowd deserted the bastards late in the day.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Wrap - Papering Over The Cracks
1. Greg Chappell held nothing back by saying he doubted Clarke's ready to take over Ricky Ponting's mantle. Clarke should be worried. He needs some runs and quickly.
2. Only ever seen Johnson swing it back into the right hander in South Africa about two years ago. He came back well here and the newfound aggro was refreshing. The Poms don't like it.
3. Good win with Harris showing enough to stamp himself as a future leader of the attack (if injury free). Surely Beer must be replaced by Hauritz (never thought I'd ever say that!). He cannot play on the east coast. No good (flat beer).
4. We cannot afford to paper over the cracks. Hughes must give way to either Cowan or Cosgrove. No other opener in the country is doing any good. Hughes needs a bit of Justin Langer treatment (see you in 10 years). he has been lazy and not adjusted his game in any way. Getting bowled as a Test opener is terrible technique.
5. How many wickets has Siddle taken? One since the hatrick. He will go.
Nothing else. Ashes 1-1. can you believe it? Let's hope for some Pommy implosions and a wet Melbourne deck with plenty of sideways movement.
2. Only ever seen Johnson swing it back into the right hander in South Africa about two years ago. He came back well here and the newfound aggro was refreshing. The Poms don't like it.
3. Good win with Harris showing enough to stamp himself as a future leader of the attack (if injury free). Surely Beer must be replaced by Hauritz (never thought I'd ever say that!). He cannot play on the east coast. No good (flat beer).
4. We cannot afford to paper over the cracks. Hughes must give way to either Cowan or Cosgrove. No other opener in the country is doing any good. Hughes needs a bit of Justin Langer treatment (see you in 10 years). he has been lazy and not adjusted his game in any way. Getting bowled as a Test opener is terrible technique.
5. How many wickets has Siddle taken? One since the hatrick. He will go.
Nothing else. Ashes 1-1. can you believe it? Let's hope for some Pommy implosions and a wet Melbourne deck with plenty of sideways movement.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Wrap - Boring Blokes To Tears
Boys,
1. I had to hold back the tears when I saw Garth Wood (former NRL great - Souths and Easts from memory) knock down The Man Mundine mid week. Great to hear how lovely the Man is after all those inflammatory comments, political controversies, sexist statements and his ridiculous big headedness. He might be asking Sonny Bill for a bit of cash soon. A rare day from Jeffrey Fenech who backed a winner at long last.
Fenech's record is only beaten by Greg Chappell for failure. The human hex has taken over and we are yet to win a test! He is a destabiliser.
2. Great to see Botham and Ian Chappell going the biff in the carpark post Test in Adelaide. The spirit of cricket is alive.
3. Beer? Great name for a cricket jingle, but he will struggle to get a gig. 'Beer Mixes The Drinks' would be a good headline next week. WHAT IS THE FASCINATION WITH LEFT ARM ORTHODOX BOWLERS? (Bright, Hogan and Doherty tell us there is no way forward there). Hilditch was a compulsive hooker...now he is a compulsive spin bowler destroyer.
4. Great to see Marcus North disappear. Another lame duck WA bat. See Sean Marsh, Wood, Voges, Moody, Malone, Macleay, Gannon, Martyn as blokes who tried selector patience too often.
5. NRL. When will Tahu be cut? Put it to sleep we have all had enough. Is Inglis' contract story now the official most boring story in sport? Parramatta are the Jana Pittman of the NRL.
6. Vic Darchinyan gets done. Unlucky.
1. I had to hold back the tears when I saw Garth Wood (former NRL great - Souths and Easts from memory) knock down The Man Mundine mid week. Great to hear how lovely the Man is after all those inflammatory comments, political controversies, sexist statements and his ridiculous big headedness. He might be asking Sonny Bill for a bit of cash soon. A rare day from Jeffrey Fenech who backed a winner at long last.
Fenech's record is only beaten by Greg Chappell for failure. The human hex has taken over and we are yet to win a test! He is a destabiliser.
2. Great to see Botham and Ian Chappell going the biff in the carpark post Test in Adelaide. The spirit of cricket is alive.
3. Beer? Great name for a cricket jingle, but he will struggle to get a gig. 'Beer Mixes The Drinks' would be a good headline next week. WHAT IS THE FASCINATION WITH LEFT ARM ORTHODOX BOWLERS? (Bright, Hogan and Doherty tell us there is no way forward there). Hilditch was a compulsive hooker...now he is a compulsive spin bowler destroyer.
4. Great to see Marcus North disappear. Another lame duck WA bat. See Sean Marsh, Wood, Voges, Moody, Malone, Macleay, Gannon, Martyn as blokes who tried selector patience too often.
5. NRL. When will Tahu be cut? Put it to sleep we have all had enough. Is Inglis' contract story now the official most boring story in sport? Parramatta are the Jana Pittman of the NRL.
6. Vic Darchinyan gets done. Unlucky.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Wrap - Timana WHO?
1. Can anyone believe that we were ever any chance for the Soccer World Cup? We are fair dinkum kidding ourselves. Blatter is a known liar and has said stupid things before. It is worse than the IOC and harder to crack. Frank Lowy has lost a lot of face. ONE bloody vote! Fancy rolling out Gillard and Paul Hogan again? Badly advised, but listen closely...can you hear the consultants laughing as they stumble to the bank with their full pockets?
2. Chelsea. Can tis overpaid lot of fools pull it together? The Russians are not going to put up with these clowns losing. They are everyone's tream because they win, butt here is little affection and warmth for this lot.
3. Sydney FC. The coach is living on borrowed time. He keeps getting thumped. Something else for Frank Lowy to worry about.
4. Timana Tahu. When is this bloke going to be barred? Parramatta are joking. He is a destabiliser and should be axed immediately. You will hardly miss his form.
5. Cricket. Poor catching kills teams. Greg Chappell has really upset the mediocre apple cart. They are all on notice and he is waiting for a huge clearance of blokes soon. Clarke is a disgrace and will come close to the axe soon as well. If his back is so good, then bowl a few overs at 1/ 580 please.
Peter Siddle. How close did this guy come to the axe (even allowing for his hat trick)? They went with Hilfenhaus, but must have been tempted to punt him. He was about to become the new Jason Gillespie (who scored a 200 and was then dropped). Has not taken a wicket since his hat trick - and will not finish the summer in the Aussie team. He is playing his farewell tour and does not know it quite yet. Has anyone seen any reverse swing yet? Troy Cooley has done a great job there. Performance pay?
Great to see gatorade still pushing the Johnson adverts when he has been dropped. He should be sacked immediately there, lest the brand look out of touch. Silly stuff.
6. How are we all feeling about Xavier Doherty? Not the answer.
7. Tiger. He is back. Beware, once on song, he will crush the rest.
8. Has there been a longer investigation than the Ryan Tandy match fixing affair? Lindy Chamberlain's case was the only one longer - and the Wood Royal Commission. Looking bad for Sam Ayoub. Noticed Parra have signed another goose who launched the betting sting.
2. Chelsea. Can tis overpaid lot of fools pull it together? The Russians are not going to put up with these clowns losing. They are everyone's tream because they win, butt here is little affection and warmth for this lot.
3. Sydney FC. The coach is living on borrowed time. He keeps getting thumped. Something else for Frank Lowy to worry about.
4. Timana Tahu. When is this bloke going to be barred? Parramatta are joking. He is a destabiliser and should be axed immediately. You will hardly miss his form.
5. Cricket. Poor catching kills teams. Greg Chappell has really upset the mediocre apple cart. They are all on notice and he is waiting for a huge clearance of blokes soon. Clarke is a disgrace and will come close to the axe soon as well. If his back is so good, then bowl a few overs at 1/ 580 please.
Peter Siddle. How close did this guy come to the axe (even allowing for his hat trick)? They went with Hilfenhaus, but must have been tempted to punt him. He was about to become the new Jason Gillespie (who scored a 200 and was then dropped). Has not taken a wicket since his hat trick - and will not finish the summer in the Aussie team. He is playing his farewell tour and does not know it quite yet. Has anyone seen any reverse swing yet? Troy Cooley has done a great job there. Performance pay?
Great to see gatorade still pushing the Johnson adverts when he has been dropped. He should be sacked immediately there, lest the brand look out of touch. Silly stuff.
6. How are we all feeling about Xavier Doherty? Not the answer.
7. Tiger. He is back. Beware, once on song, he will crush the rest.
8. Has there been a longer investigation than the Ryan Tandy match fixing affair? Lindy Chamberlain's case was the only one longer - and the Wood Royal Commission. Looking bad for Sam Ayoub. Noticed Parra have signed another goose who launched the betting sting.
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