The Wrap - Knuckleheads

1. The NRL Grand Final. How does a team that is winning at half time fall in a heap as badly as the Roosters? Interesting to note no sighting of Brian Smith at half time in the sheds. He plays a lot of mind games and they bite him on the bum eventually. In contrast, it was interesting to see Nightingale and Soward in deep discussion with Bennett and then (low and behold - who would have thought) to see two quick tries down his side upon resumption. Smith needs some outside backs. Linnet and the young winger are terrible in defence and were found out. Kenny Dowell was also ordinary when it was all said and done. Early, the Roosters were tough but Saints were powerful. The rain helped them, but always hard to blame it on the elements. When was the last sunny/ dry NRL Grand Final?

2. I am writing to David Gallop and any other Independent Commissioner (when?) about the terrible standard of pre match/ half time entertainment at the GF. I've had enough. If I see another battered helicopter and a pathetic sky diver or two I'll scream. We had the big eel in 1976 so maybe that needs to return - or the big inflatable Optus TV - or another John Williamson song when nails and screws were left on the ground. Where is the bloke holding down a net full of balloons? The "streamers and coloured paper" that Rex loved? A marching band with a big fat bloke at the front? Lionel Ritchie was fabulous "All Night Long" and "Dancing On The Ceiling" - and a great position in the crowd. Do we need another no name young Aussie band who no one remembers? IF a band exists, they play a popular, relevant song - not their next hit. Same goes for Origin too. The arrogance of the NRL is unbelievable. May it rest in peace - with a matchfixing ban or two.

3. Collingwood. Crushed St Kilda who fair dinkum must have had the bookies in their pockets kicking a million behinds early in the game. Too physical, too aggressive and too dominant. A bit like the police report from yet another sex scandal allegation.

4. Brett Stewart. Hard to know what to make of the accuser and I'm sure 60 Minutes will run a story on it soon. Could she be that deceptive and put her reputation on the line to that extent? Father was mad and the evidence did not stack up. The angst such things create seem to know no bounds. NRL look dumb - again - by banning Stewart. Surely the mantra is well known now "there is a Police investigation and the matter is before the courts, so we will reserve our judgement until the outcome is known".

5. Nick Darcy. Hard to feel an ounce of sympathy for him. he is still full of smart arse comments and scowls and carries on like a spoilt brat. he was found out mentally - something Simon Cowley saw as well. He is a prize knob and should retire. He choked worse than any other swimmer in memory. Indian bookie involved?

6. Alberto Contodor. If it is not bad meat, mum's pill (Warnie), oversexing, spiked drinks it is the coach gave it to me, food was laced, you can kiss a girl who swallows cocaine (Gasquet), oral sex gives it to you or you find it in your toothpaste. It's a scary world out there. Watch Out. The Pommie league player who necked himself last week - Terry Newton - actually just admitted he was a cheat. That's more like it. Dried caterpillars and turtle shell extract can do the trick too!

7. Cricket. Rick Ponting is culpable. His shot in the circumstances of the second innings was appalling. Australia 1-80 and he needed to consolidate sensibly to put us in a winning position (like tendulkar does ALL the time). He is going to lose yet another Ashes series. He is cranky and irrational, throwing his wicket away. Clarke is soft too. When has Clarke delivered in a test under immense pressure? NOthing much springs to mind does it?

I have also surely just watched Marcus North's last test. He lacks guts. With India about to bat, I cannot see anything but an Indian victory. Harbijan bowled brillinatly, Hauritz should visit his academy. Outside of the match fixed SCG Test, what has Hauritz done? A pretender. Was dropped last time he was in India and should be again. We need a broom through this mob before it is too late. Another Test that has slipped away under Ponting's petulant and surly leadership.