Wrap - Bad Hands

1. What an unlucky club net bowler who was hit while bowling in the nets. Mitch Marsh middled one! He looms as our next Shane Watson. Can surprise, but disappoints more often than most. How fat is Swampy? He has some guts now.

Mitch Starc injured again. When did we have a summer when all bowlers stayed fit? Not since McGrath, Kaspo, Lee...these blokes didn't fall apart. Gillespie even. Merv lasted.

Oh the irony...Shaun Marsh hits one down the ground in a test for the first time and gets run out! Great to see NZ have brought their own Santa (Santner) with them. Merry Christmas!

Shaun Marsh rose to the occasion and hit a lot more frequently down the ground. A gem of a second innings really. Announced his return under immense pressure. The most relieved Marsh is Rod...the ailing selector.

Unfortunately the Windies will be a misery.

2. Pink Ball. Having been at the ground, the ball is fine when it hits the grass, but down the pitch live - hard to see under lights! Not bad on tele. If it can be so influential under lights, it seems more treacherous than losing the toss. Imagine it in India or Sri Lanka when the dew sets in...

Great to see a pitch where batsmen have to work hard. Much more engaging.

3. Interested to see the massage man/ team trainer fielding for Australia in a Test match. Has it come to this? The 12th man - surely they can hang around and learn other skills. Is there not another decent player somewhere? He hung around for ever. The one through the legs would cop a bagging in B10's. This used to happen when playing the President's XI or the Durham Second XI. Unprofessional and wearing some sort of supporter's cap baggy green...disrespectful.

He has plenty of work off the field he needs to attend to...Starc, Warner....on it goes...

Then they bring on a young kid who Warnie thinks may have had a couple of beers after his game earlier in the day at club cricket! Smith needs work on his hands. The captaincy is taking some toll perhaps. Maybe the massage man needed to come on into the slips.

4. What about the world's most boring issue? The TV rights for the NRL. Get it on television and stop annoying us. No one cares. A bit like when the draw is announced! Who cares? Rivalled by the DRS Pommie umpire. A ditherer.

5. Apparently Essendon AFL club are door knocking fans to thank them for their loyalty. Should be a quick afternoon's work.

6. That ex-NBA player in the NBL. No wonder an 83 year old with some disabilities throws beer on him. If he was any good he would be playing over there. Put the old bloke in a rocking chair with a pipe and keep him under house arrest.

The NBA is wildly over achieving with every game shown live on Fox. Hard to believe it.

7. Sight screens. Since when do we need 15 sections of seating covered in white towels/ banners for the sight screen? Plus the useless one with the garage door remote. In the old days it was big news when Joel Garner made them put two feet on top of the black ODI sight screens. Do we need that much extra? Greg Chappell played with kids hanging over the fence waving flags in front of them...and still got runs.

8. Speith is a class act. Composed and calm regardless. However Matt Jones gets the Stonehaven Cup...only $225,000 for the winner. Lucky to see any international players here at that price. This would be ashtray change for most of the stars.

9. How about Klitschko’s nine-and-a-half-year reign as heavyweight boxing champion getting undone today? Some sort of effort!

Wrap - Pork Chops

1. Unbelievable that a 56 year old - Peter Senior - wins the Australian Masters. A phenomenal effort from a crusty old stager. Invented the 'PING' cap and a broomstick stickler. One of the last of an era of golfers with moustaches! Where have all the moustachioed golfers gone? Think: Roger Davis, Craig Stadler...

2. Where the hell was the Sheffield Shield this weekend? The scheduling of that competition is appalling. Zero interest sport on this weekend really, outside of Craig Lowndes and a few of the van Gisbergens and his mates.

Great to see Michael Clarke carry on like a pork chop. There is an absence of affection for him as Australian cricket captain. You simply don't comment on other players. We all know Symonds is a galoot. The spray for Buchanan seems out of line too. While he was not cricket guru, his role was different and he managed some clowns in his time. Surely Clarke's ascendancy into stupidity under Mickey Arthur (think 'homework gate') says it all for Buchanan.

Spoilt brat sports stars definitely grate on the nerves. Why are so many of them so painful? Think Stephanie Rice, Jana Pittman, Anthony Mundine, Kgyrios...on it goes.

3. Mitchell Johnson. Plenty of wickets but plenty of pain for the spectators at key times over the years. Probably a bit like Brett Lee. Good memories, plenty of wickets, amazing fitness and longevity, but truly great? No chance. Seems a lovely fellow. We are now entering some dark bowling days in Australian cricket. Hold on.

I will be in Adelaide at the Pink test on assignment this week coming. Special Wrap report to follow.

4. Shaun Marsh - Joe Burns. Both these players cannot succeed at Test level long term with their techniques. Both play well square of the wicket but look for it all the time. As a result great swing or fast bowlers will pick them up each time. Mediocre medium pace won't. A false dawn. Mitchell Marsh also needs a rocket. He is loose at key times.

5. Jason Taylor and the West Tigers. How can they be serious turning around and offering Farah a new deal...must be seriously front ended to accommodate what he is owed. They are an untrustworthy lot. Clearly they know he has a deal on the table and rather than pay him to play at another club, are now "wanting" him so they pay what is owed while he remains on the roster at the West Tigers. A circus.

6. Barbarians Rugby. Is this the annual joke that England and the northern hemisphere nations think that free flowing rugby stands for? Defence like the halcyon rugby days of human turnstiles. 49-31? Sounds like a Toyota Cup game.

7. Rhonda Rousey. Great hype last week, but UFC is hard on the eye and a crass showcase of ancient gladiatorial instincts. Is she out of hospital yet?

8. Is anyone sick of 'tell all' biographies like Tiger Woods' old caddie Steve Williams? Give us a break. Something sad about his cashing in on that. Maybe he should have been more of a voice of reason at the time and not played dumb.

Wrap - Olympic Totem Tennis and Olympic Spotlight

1. Why is the sight screen always so problematic at Australian test cricket grounds? They stuff around with it annually. Ploy by advertisers? Harder to navigate than your average garage door!

2. Great to see the umpires crack the ball hoop out to test the shape of the ball. So regularly. A more popular tool in the umpire's kit than the nail file or the boot scraper or stud tightener. A sure sign a team is not getting wickets quickly enough.

It didn't take long for the poor fitness of Khawaja to come into the fore. This has hampered him for years. His running between the wickets has been tolerable against a weak bowling opponent, but he needs to get his act together. The talent and twin ton runs have been impressive, but that's half the game. If someone mentions that underperforming Bancroft again, they need a psyche.

Warner is without doubt the most entertaining since Gilchrist. He is closing in on Hussey (19 tons) already with 15. One of the greats.

3. Man Mundine. As generous with his cash as he is and as nice as the press has been to him of late (cue Phil Hughes story), he surely is "yesterday's man" (think Laurie Daley). A crushing loss mid week.

4. On Laurie, I love a Centre of Excellence. Talk of a new one going in for the NSW team at Homebush. Queensland must be petrified now...look out...a new turf field...a few new weights, wall posters and rap crap songs....booo! Scared yet?

One of the great modern ways to do your cash in as an organisation. Surely there is something brewing to get league teams to use Homebush en masse in the future.

5. Time for Michael Cheika to get the razor blade out on the 'front tuft'. When you have more hair on your rs, ears and nose than your head, it is time. Not that I know this officially of course in this instance, but you get the drift. Take note boys.

6. NRL clubs could do worse than to recruit more Pommy forwards. Some of those blokes are brutally talented. They played really well to beat NZ on the weekend. Something about those skinny in goal areas though that stuffs up our style of play. Maybe this is the way to stop silly kicking obsessions by NRL coaches. It makes teams play the ball instead.

7. The Fight Game. One of the great levellers. Rhonda Rousey got smashed up badly. Eventually someone gets you, regardless of how rich, how mouthy or how good you think you are.

8. Sevens Rugby in the Olympics? Surely we are kidding. No wonder beach cricket was touted as a possible too. Next we'll have matchbox footy played in hallways, yo yo's, elastics, catch n' kiss, flick footy cards, hopscotch and Totem Tennis...maybe even bull rush.

Also, don't forget 'What's the time Mr Wolf', Marco Polo in the pool and even 'Spotlight' at night time with the family torch so as to capture a huge viewing audience. French cricket could also make an exciting appearance. One man footy may also be a cost effective inclusion

At least none rely on the Russian drug industry rorts to excel.

Wrap - Injuries and Outrage

1. Why do jockeys all talk the same high pitched squeak - regardless of gender? No one backed that No. 19 in The Melbourne Cup surely....if you did you would not admit you had zero idea. Michelle Payne did extraordinarily well and has ability.

2. The Australian effort at the Gabba has been impressive. I was absolutely wrong. All the top order have fired. Liked the Joe Burns ton for its aggression and confidence in the second innings of a game. He has the Gilly cab door ears. Great composure and I liked Khawaja's footwork. Both have suddenly cemented their spots. Has anyone noticed how they hit through the 'v' very strongly. This is Shaun Marsh's deficit. However, I think we all need to take a deep breath and remind ourselves that it is the New Zealand attack. Not A-Grade at times. The push to victory with Nathan Lyon bowling will be tough. 7 wickets on a pitch giving nothing...? I must say that the Kane Williamson LBW was a terrible, terrible decision. Fancy getting LBW to something like that at Test level.

3. Warner. He is fast becoming one of the absolute greats of the game. More Test centuries than Bill Lawry and equals Slats and Chappelli on 14. Ponting's 41 Test tons may never be beaten. When Warner is fired up pre Test, look out. He is a fighter and a good teammate who gives his batting partners a lot of support and confidence.

4. Are New Zealand cricketers the most injured group of athletes in world sport? They always have blokes out, shock injuries, breaking down...Jacob Oram is their Brett Papworth - or Pat Cummins/ Shane Watson.

5. What is wrong with our curators? Blacktown was terrible and now the SCG outfield basically causes the game to stop within 40 overs. Poor umpires? Or poor drainage. How? The game makes a lot of cash.

6. AB de Villiers is clearly a better bat than Fanie de Villiers. However India smashed them on a terrible deck, bowling out everyone quickly. The Indians win a lot at home defending totals.

7. Melbourne Victory. Berisha is a goal scoring machine. Hated, but he knows how to win.

8. In soccer, is it Woodwork - or aluminium work that the ball hits? Kevin Muscat...Tony Popovic...Graham Arnold...an impressive quality of person and coach in that competition.

9. Hayne. Based on the 49ers treatment of Jarryd Hayne and his supposed poor hands, Anthony Watmough wouldn't get into their car park.

Wrap - All Blacks No Excuses

1. Wallabies. A tremendous effort to get that far really. Anyone betting on a World Cup Final birth would have cleaned up. The All Blacks were simply awesome. The Welsh referee did us no favours but I did like the Chieka "no excuse" culture. A refreshing change and possibly why he is so successful. Loved the Steve Hanson response to the post match interviewer when she asked if he was worried at 21-17 up. "Worry is a wasted emotion". Gold. And that is why they win all the time.     

2. It is staggering to think that we have selected Joe Burns as opener in the First Test v NZ when established recognised openers – Cowan and Klinger have been piling on the runs. We then get treated to that same dumb and shocked face by Rod Marsh that John Inverarity had mastered all those years ago. Rod is fast becoming the “Iron Gloves” of selectors. The wheel has come full circle. Notwithstanding that howler, it was good to see that Bancroft, despite his considerable hype, was overlooked. Western Australian opening bats have a lot of growing to do on pitches outside of Perth…ask Shaun Marsh. Only Graeeeeeme Wood and Justin Langer reversed this, although Graeeeeme was a ‘duck or a hundred’ man.

3. The selection of Kahwaja has me baffled. No weight of runs there at all. He is the new Shane Watson. Another of those famous under performing batsmen who look good and promise more than Bill Shorten. Often injured, poor between the wickets (watch for a run out this series) and only good for between 20-30 runs max at Test level. Southee will sort him out big time.

4. Chelsea. It goes from bad to worse. Hard to believe the side has fallen apart so dramatically under Mourinho after a premiership last season. He will be heartened to know the horse bearing the same name is doing better than the special one himself. He may be at the coaching knackery soon.

5. MLB World Series. The Kansas City Royals are up over the NY Mets. The home and away series scheduling is very powerful in this. The crowds flock to all these games. A multi million dollar enterprise. Best of 7? How long before a best of three GF in the NRL? One in NSW and one in QLD. The third in the State of Origin winning state.

6. Bring back the ING Cup target sign in the outfield for the 20-20 this year! A great promotion. Did a celebrity ever lay a mit on one?

7. Can Jason Taylor last much longer? This will be it for the cranky one. Fancy signing Matt Ballin when Robbie Farah is still in the stable. Ridiculous.

8. How bad was that Blacktown pitch for the NZ match v Cricket Australia? It was so bad that it made the Kiwis bowl crap and get smashed. Talk about pathetic. They are an intriguing lot. I thought they had more in their kit than that. Lame brains. The All Blacks would have played on it.

9. What of Jarryd Hayne? Sounds like the political correct menace has got hold of the franchise and told it to get traditional. Surely another franchise will snap him up elsewhere. The rapidly changing nature of US sports will have him on a plane tomorrow to somewhere else. He is just a number in that part of the world. The hype is surely all ours.

Wrap - Roger That

1. Bails....are they cricket's equivalent of the footy corner post? Do we need them?

2. Looking forward to the metal ring coming out this summer to check the shape of the ball when a team is getting smacked around the park. Why does a ball only go out of shape when there are no wickets being taken? Why is it so popular in the sub continent?

3. Love an overthrow...the chaos, the mayhem, the defeat. Hate the glove punch.

4. The Matador Cup is an absolute dud. Too many games, no publicity and who cares? Is it a lead up to Test cricket? Strange timing. The winners all get two kilos of thin cut sausages and a Mark Webber barbecue. By the way, as much as this may horrify you, I am backing Ed Cowan (think Chris Rogers' replacement) and Moises Henriques to play Test cricket with best mate Steve Smith. No bowling - just as a batsman. Ed Cowan needs to get cracking. Mo Matthews once said he will hit 5,000 Test runs. I think he has scored 1,001 runs...needs about 80 more tests yet if he can average 50.

5. Wallabies. Let's face it...a  loss to Argentina would be an intolerable joke. It would be one of the great upsets. As good as the publicity machine is...a win should create an All Blacks showdown. Chieka has a great record. No Richie McCaw will even it up.

6. The Hayne Plane. Can anyone believe that the Seattle Mariners wanted JH  and he went to the 49ers? He must have had advice from the Man Mundine. High praise from the 49ers legend Roger Craig overnight. One of the great Rogers in world sport (Federer, Davis, Rasheed...Tuivasa-Sheck...Millward, Cowan and of course Lavis...and on it goes).

7. Speaking of which, when does The Man get the final hammering of his career? Better than Hayne, Nova Perris-Kneebone and Jana Pittman combined...of course. Not as good as Daniel Vidot, the Broncos/ Raiders/ Dragsters winger who has just scored a gig in WWE! The stage name? VIDIOT?

 

8. Did David Smith's exit reveal more than we know about League? Here he is trying to make it more corporate and professional...too many useless staff in there I know...but will he be a revolutionary in years ahead? At the moment no one will miss him, but a few clubs might when the knives are sharpened.

Wrap - Scot Tissues

1. Wallabies. A thrilling close win. Scotland unlucky. Slipper very lucky. We looked loose and shoddy. Scrum was a step back. Foley not brilliant, but a brilliant pressure kick. He is ice. Argentina might trouble us to be honest on that form. An All Blacks-Australia showdown looms. Perhaps the reverse result of the Cricket World Cup. Scotland can whinge all they like. They go home now and let the southern hemisphere countries play the game. Hopefully the stuffy refs do not get hold of the games remaining.

2. Tigers. They continue to implode. Jason Taylor must be relieved as I am sure he expects the axe to swing his way. Instead Ivan Cleary is gone from the Panthers and a great opportunity for the local boy, John Cartwright to return and excel is missed. Gus may have lost the plot here. Anthony Griffin? The Broncos could not get rid of him quick enough. Can't see a happy marriage there.

3. Starc. Killing them in ODI's. Is test cricket that different while bowling. Even if he bowled ten decent overs, form says he might get two wickets. he needs to get more consistent. Steve Smith's brilliance with the bat is unbelievable. Alistair Cook is back in form with 268. There is a minimum year's grace after a knock like that.

4. Idiot Season. Roll up...step right up...Hawthorn have two up for sexual assault allegations...Issac Heaney has a broken jaw...Matt Lodge faces the clink...CEO's must have long nights at this time of year. George Burgess was in good and humbly quiet form at the Gold Coast on Friday night.

5. Noticed Tomic performed well in the Shanghai Open. Djokovic staring at an undefeated season...incredible.

 

6. The Hayne Plane continues to stutter. See above as they land in Baltimore.