Sunday, July 4, 2010

Wrap - Persian Rug Sale

Boys,

1. FIFA. The comedy show continues. Balls landing two metres into goalmouths for a 'no goal' ruling, referees looking like they do not know the rules, massive inconsistencies.... How about the Uruguayan handball joker, Suarez. Same penalty as Harry Kewell. Don't feel too sorry for him as Kewell was sent off v Ghana - Ghana got to feel what that sort of robbery is like. The rule there if it is deliberate should be: GOAL COUNTS and then PENALTY SHOT as well. That could ruin a bloke's career and make them think twice.

2. Germany score 4 goals against us, England and Argentina. We're in good company there. How about Maradona? He will be brushing off the air rifle for the press back home. He looked like the bosses may not have been happy with him. The losing soccer/ football coach looks like he has just paid full price for a Persian rug and has then seen it on the roadside at James Ruse Drive for half what he paid!

3. Serena Williams will become the best ever. Her power is awesome. She's won it four times and been runner up twice. Why is it that almost every year, the loser in a women's Grand Slam final turns on the waterworks? They usually do this after getting smashed ...think Jana Novotna, Lindsay Davenport, Henin...Zvonareva. (Still waiting to see someone retire in a Grand Slam when well ahead on the scoreboard....as if).

4. Swans. Occasionally you get the impression that a team is sick of the coach. The Swans were 30 points ahead leading into the last quarter. They got rolled by Richmond of all teams who to be fair have rallied of late since their axing from the comp was called for. Roos must have shown some different pictures this week...like melting icecreams, cushions and other items of absolute softness. Incredible. They are sick of their coach. Folding like that tells you. They lost all intensity...I'd check player betting accounts personally.

5. NRL. Split Rounds must go. They are that boring - especially when Origin series are decided. We need all players on deck before dead rubbers. All teams must play each week. Bring on a new home/ away for all teams on a two year cycle. Play home in 2010 - play away in 2011 OR Play teams once and then half twice....what about everyone twice? NBL, EPL, MLB all play a squillion games - even the NFL....is rugby league too precious?

6. Andrew Johns. Not 'shattered' just yet, but drip feeding the depression stories and 'struggling' angle. Are we meant to be sympathetic? Pass the Kleenex.

7. Watched Hussey bat on the weekend. Very strong after a string of lower scores. Ponting is the concern. He has had enough but won't admit it. England have a bit more steel. Swann is the key man for them. He believes in himself and has a bit of 'Aussie' strength and resolve. Steve Smith could be a hit as a leggie. Would like to see him bat properly however. He swats at the ball and craps around at the crease.

8. Parramatta. How can a side with the depth and expense for signings go so poorly? Ever since Inu, Mateo, Keating, et al all have left, the cue has gone into the rack. They are a disgrace. Hayne has been a joke all year. Anderson was mild. Can anyone explain how a slow running back of the ball from a kick return does anything to thwart the defence? A big head who is in line for the most overrated player of 2010 (or Mortimer).

9. Did anyone miss the Test Rugby this weekend? NO, thought not...

10. Tour de France. Toughest show on earth. Phil Liggett is the Richie Benaud of the show. Classic voice.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Wrap - Garner Win

1. Is Jana Rawlinson or Anthony Mundine the greatest clown in world sport? Fancy Rawlinson saying she will run under the British Flag in London? With breast implants - or without? Married again or single? Married to the same bloke again - or some other bloke? In the Woman's Weekly or not? She is a disgrace. No doubt she will be injured and not available as usual. A knee? A hamstring? Using Flintoff-King as coach - or hubby? This week's husband or next week's?

2. NRL. A weekend for upsets, but surely the Eels are gone now. Mortimber must return to five eight and Robson to half. Why that needed to change I would never know after the success of last year. Matt Keating could not be that bad. Anthony Watts from the Cowboys has been sounded out and he goes well. Losing Kris Keating is probably not that bad - nor is Eric Grothe's imminent departure. I can't see them scoring points enough to win. Losing Cayless and the rest might just cover up the salary cap problems. Tahu should go as well. he is a dramatic liability unlikely to regain his best form. Seemed like he wanted a few paid weeks off to me. Hope Osborne doesn't walk out of Woolies again in worry about it all.

3. World Cup Football. 'Pimbercile' 'Verbleak'. He deserves the lot. A hell of a lot of his negativity and lack of belief in our ability v Germany cost us big time. Looking forward to a new coach and a new breed of players. England v Germany should be a good contest. A huge exit will be made by one or the other. Funny about England. A team of champions or a champion team? Can Harry Kewell do us all a favour and shut up until he plays a full game for Australia and wins us something?

4. AFL. These reduced rounds of games are killing the footy codes. Why does AFL need this? No Origin or national team representative fixtures. Not a little tired are they? Pass the tissues. Collingwood have condemned the Swans to late season fodder. Fancy getting a newspaper picture printed off mid game and using it to damn players? Roos lost the plot and they then went worse.

5. Argentina. Big week for them. Warming as favourites for the World Cup, beat France in rugby (how bad is that nation going at present?) and getting thumped in the basketball v Boomers.

6. Rugby. The sport is doomed. The penalties are out of control. Rugby referees are the only referees in world sport who see themselves as the stars. The whole presentation of medallions to officials needs to stop worldwide (cricket, tennis, etc). Put them in a PostPak and send them mid week. Keep them off centre stage, tell them it is about entertainment and change the bloody rules to do this easier. The best ref/ umpire is one unnoticed.

7. Cricket. Is it just me or is Ricky Ponting looking and sounding like he is ready to lose another Ashes contest? I am out on him. His form has been AWFUL. We have clung on too long and now we will pay as the Poms did with Gatting/ Fraser/ Botham/ Gower who were towelled up eventually.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Wrap - Time For Reform

1. FIFA have a lot to answer for. Fancy claiming to be 'The World Game' and consistently delivering stuff ups and referee errors. The Kewell send off was technically correct (if it had indeed hit his hand deliberately), but the inconsistency from one game to the next, from one referee to the next...of tackles from behind, etc is ridiculous. It is hard not to get the impression that if you are NOT a European country you can live with a rough decision...or two...or three...Blatter is a clown. Video ref surely should be in place. Let's watch for a monumental goal line dispute or a hand ball in a semi...

2. What about the weather in South Africa? Blazing sun every day. Blaring horns every other day. Pretty good. Must be due for rain at the finals time. Look for the SCG Trust to ban those horns, sunshine and fun this summer.

3. NRL. Hard to believe that the full story has been told with the Tahu issue. The thought of it being resolved through the Equal Opportunity Human Rights Commissioner sounds a bit overblown. The stand has been made, milking it could backfire.

4. In the modern sporting context, has any team actually done any better since the advent of nutritionists, suit wearing blokes with fancy glasses and clipboards, forwards and backs coaches, specialist coaches for scrums, halves, kicking, farting, multiple trainers and 'staff' who seem to be on the gravy train? In rugby when there was a coach, manager and a doctor, we actually did better. Are they necessary - or is it the best way to keep the coach in a job? The cost of getting rid of the lot makes him more secure?

5. AFL. Richmond are hitting their straps (at long last) and a young West Coast side look good things for the future. They ran out of legs v the Western Bulldogs who were under the pump till half time. Port are shot. North remain tough. In between there is any number of boofheads who are trying to make AFL a joke. Fancy Dipper handing out racial insults? Should have started with their drug policy.

6. Cricket. Can anyone explain why a one day series in England at this time of the year is important? Maybe we may get a World Cup out of it one day after India have squeezed every cent out of the game and 10-10 is the next big thing.

7. Rugby. Giteau's miss and smile in front could be a source of investigation by the Pakistani Cricket Board. He will get a permanent ban forever under those standards. Good to see a few penalties from yet another over zealous referee right at the death with a couple of minutes left on the clock. That is vintage rugby. (By the way, have a look at Invictus if you haven't already...Lomu looks soft unfortunately).

8. NRL. Does anyone get the impression that teams like Penrith, Tigers and Rabbits - all of whom may make the semis - will get run out of team quick smart when that happens. They lack a toughness and flair when the whips are cracking. Dragons should be at 1.01.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Wrap - The Queen's Birthday Suit

1. NSW Origin. They are a rabble. They select 21 players - Dolf was named as well but was injured and unavailable. Geoff Carr wantes to ban blokes mid season and then Joey passes stupid racist comments as a coach and leader of a team with Hayne/ Tahu/ Learoy-Lahrs (all of NESB heritage) and players leave a camp that they clearly believe is overcooked.

Joey has too much to say on the field and believes he can manipulate young Gidley. They name the skipper on the bench - because Johns is on the field. Ridiculous! Then NSW pick Joel 'The Dud' Monaghan as his replacement!! Try Brett Morris...Michael Jennings....surely a hundred blokes before Monaghan. They tried Steve Turner (Origin dunce) and the Wolfman who made more errors than Dr Patel in a Bundaberg hospital. Monaghan is the next to make a goose of himself. He was sacked last year from Origin I.

2. Tahu's Sudden Exit From Camp. Tahu sounds to me that he has heard a lot of this before from Johns. I suspect he knows a lot more about Andrew Johns than most people and I reckon he has had a bootful. How many times can Joey say "I'm shattered" and actually mean it? He is a dead set goose. Seems to be a bit of a family trait. His comments seem to indicate that he was "ignorant...of sensitive issues" (like racism. Can he be that dumb? Channel 9 will do well to retain him - again...and again...what's next? A story about his depression and regression and another photo of him in his wetsuit at the beach? Deservedly sacked. Good riddance.

3. Folau. What a schemmozzle. Make a clear rule at the start of the season - then everyone knows. The NRL are too busy changing the rule about cornerposts. They have lost the plot. How bad were the Rabbits yesterday? They are a disgrace. Unbackable Jeckyl and Hyde.

4. Rugby Test v England. Quade Cooper is a star and our backs are shaping up well. The forwards are awful really. No tough props who dominate. Who was our last super prop? Topo? Young? Ref was a pain in the rs as usual in Internationals but at least we scored a few. This nonsense about penalty tries is getting out of hand.

5. Swans. This team has more pace than most, but lack size. Still, doing enough for a minor placing. in the semis. No shortage of energy. Hawthorn on the charge and improve but Geelong should get the flag now. They will kill everyone again. Is the draft working? Some Carlton improvement, but the Roos seem to be the team which has the most true tenacity and killer in the whole comp. Richmond winning on the back of Reiwoldt (Jack)...nice stuff. Bulldogs finally get their act together.

6. World Cup. South Africa unlucky. Mexico a good outfit. France a joke (ever since Senegal beat them). England's keeper - "TOO GREEN!' (A shocker). How often does the shocker come out in a World Cup? Too often for some. USA will surprise. They were red hot for Australia too.

7. How many times can Federer clean Hewitt up in his career? Try as he might, Hewitt is on the slide. He is solid, but needs much more spark these days to cut it with the big boys. What is it about Andy Murray? He is as soft as Henman was before him. By the way, who is Gery Weber? Does a mean BBQ apparently.

8. Mark Webber. Hamilton is striking back, but if Webber wins the thing this year, I will need to change horses and get off him. Surely calamity will follow him. Was a reliable ball boy however.

9. Getting up for the Germany match. 4.30am will test anyone. SEnd a text or two. In the uni days, this would have been a big event. Quality fillies there as well no doubt.

10. By the way, what did you buy the Queen? A new flag? Did you see Duckworth - Lewis (Pommie statisticians) both got honoured in the UK Birthday honours list. Possibly because England won the World 20-20 Cup on the back of its ludicrous adjustments. Apparently they only get 8/16ths of the medal each, despite seeming certain winners.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Wrap - PowerPlay

1. Having won the U/15 Parramatta Marist Tennis Titles at Toongabbie Tennis Centre in the howling wind back in 1983, I feel I am well placed to comment on Stosur v Shiavone. Shiavone attacked the net, was aggressive, volleyed outstandingly and showed the grit and determination befitting an Aussie. The shot of her brown face (Dolmio grin) from kissing the dirt was not the most pleasant one. For Stosur to say she 'didn't get much wrong' is worrying. She tried to power Shiavone off the court, was found out with accurate returns of ball in play and played like a millionaire - esp when up 4-1 in the second set. She has some mental issues to sort out, but at least got there.

By the way, look out George Rose...Mary Pierce delivered the winner's trophy and fair dinkum looked like she had swallowed ten tennis racquets. Her rse needs a postcode.

2. Israel Folau. He will struggle to carry the bags of cash to the bank and will be out of action more than in action. A huge signature, but like every other bloke who leaves...so long and who is next in line to take your spot. Gasnier, $onny Bills, Rogers, Sailor, Tiquiri...has anyone missed them? Elsom also went to Rugby....

4. Brent Tate is one of the most injured in the history of the NRL. Broke his jaw on the weekend. Put him down for the best injured XIII of all time.

5. Love these Wallaby tests v Pacific minnows. We all slap our backs and say how great the team is going until we get a touch up from someone half decent. Why the Pacific nations are not in the Super 14 - or Tri-Bi-Quad Nations is unclear. Typical Rugby snobbery. Perhaps as more TV's are bought over there this will change. Where's Rupert when you need him? At the chapel again?

6. Greg Norman is truly on the nose. He seems to have lost every bit of Aussie and instead rates himself far too much. Where is the Aussie bloke who takes the p iss out of himself? Has he ever laughed at himself? He is a yank and a business man and somehow we need to suddenly get excited about him hitting a golf ball here. Does anyone you know actually go to watch the golf live in Australia? I am sure someone must know someone....a sport in free fall.

7. Pim VerbEEEEEEEEk. What about his reaction to one of the poorest games since his inception as coach..."Just what I wanted (a deserved loss 3-1 to the USA?) and we are in a good space'. He is fair dinkum kidding. The sun has gotten to him. Lucas (Overrated) Neil and Craig Moore were terrible. Vince Grella played like a schoolboy and should be dropped too. On the other hand, Parramatta Jesus himself - Joshua Kennedy - missed more shots than Roger Rogerson. He could not hit water if he fell out of a boat.

8. League. Titans look scrappy. Manly awfully inconsistent and only playing half a game still. Canberra loose and Penrith methodical (looking forward to seeing them play someone decent- have had the draw from heaven). Cronulla look stronger since Ricky has removed the pressure on them. Roosters still have major defensive problems masked by early season hype. They are really little better than 2009. They need a clean out.

However is it true that Smith, Slater, Inglis, Finch, Cronk, Blair, White all played and were soundly beaten by Parramatta? Maybe they were all trying to work out whose contract is at whose place? They are all being undone at present - a bit like Underbelly at the moment.

9. AFL. Bulldogs finished. They cannot play when the whips are cracking. Pre season winners however so they should be happy. Even Adelaide and Richmond are picking up their acts. St Kilda the sleeper. Collingwood flashy. Swans are just.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Wrap - Missing The Mark and Old Legs

1. Clearly we are going to look back on some of the current Queenslanders in State of Origin and acknowledge them as legends of the game (Slater, Inglis, Folau, Lockyer, Thurston, Smith esp.). They were dominant in every way. Our forwards were soft. Somehow the lead up, the jersey distribution, the FOGS, the hoopla....it is almost laughable in its ongoing nature. Some would say it becomes boring. If the pre game camp was three days long would much change on the field?

One thing to me was obvious: when you pick forwards from Manly they only play half a game. They were logging off at the 60 minute mark, like most weeks. Lyon was more line than lion. Parra players do stupid, reckless things and Bulldogs players are used to losing. In all honesty, who was going to score a try for us?

Kurt Gidley is massively over rated.

2. Did anyone see George Rose run out for Manly v Nth QLD? It has been a while since someone the FAT n the guts has played first grade. He was simply too fat. Can anyone think of a fatter player in first grade? Mark Tookey would be up there...

3. Super 14 met its deserved death as a comp early Sunday morning. Publicity was at an all time low and rugby has problems. The Bulls won again. Big whoop. The comp would be better off letting South Africa teams play Argentina and NZ teams play Australian ones. No one quite cares. They have massive problems. Even Sydney Uni can't win a game.

4. Cricket. Bangladesh have some hide. There they are at Lords the home of cricket and can't win a thing anywhere. They should be playing up the road. They love batting but can't bowl...and they...can't throw! They love rain because it is their best chance of a draw, but cannot cope with swing or bounce.

5. Has Ben Hilfenhaus had his leg removed? Can anyone recall a cricketer having more time off than him? Even Shane Watson kept coming back and annoying us. DK and Thommo had a struggle, but nothing like Hilfenhaus. Harry Kewell and Jana Pittman may have been more injured...Eric Grothe senior....

6. AFL. Richmond win in what could only be described as ridiculous conditions to play anything resembling sport. That field will be wrecked for the year. They may just keep a little of their pride....it's a long way back. Swans continue the rot. Brisbane Lions had a strong win v Collingwood. Hard to beat at home.

7. Dunno about you but the Socceroos are looking tired and old for mine. We are going to struggle. With one striker we are looking negative before we start. Craig Moore is too old. Experience only gets you so far. Pim Verbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek needs a haircut. He is kidding.

8. Tennis. Hewitt will never beat Nadal. In fact no one is likely to beat him in the French (although he had a shock loss last year). Stosur looking good but Henin will crush her. She has lost weight, is winning more but remains one of the worst sorts on the circuit.

9. Webber. Another pole position and leading the driver's championship. He might just surprise everyone after an inglorious season start. It would be one of the great comebacks!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Wrap - Blooper 14

Boys,

1. Swans have hit rock bottom and will be doing well to make the semis. Their roster is a bit hollow. A high degree of 'sameness' in the build and profile of their players meaning that as injuries hit, there is little to go to. Roos sounds like he is ready to walk before the scheduled exit. He's had enough and so have we. Nice to see Fremantle firing up and Melbourne sparking. Gets a bit boring with Geelong certain to win the comp again.

2. NRL without Origin stars is TERRIBLE. The standard is awful. Parramatta - what a disgrace v Cronulla. Scoring tries off blokes heads, knees and through intercepts makes them think they have it all. Can't get excited about Kris Keating. Too small and runs across field too much. Would have killed them in the U/8's but this is NRL. Souths no better. Tigers scratchy. Look elsewhere.

3. Super 14. This business of playing finals when no one gives a tinker's cuss (1am and 3am in AUST - 3am and 5am in NZ) and could not be bothered to get up needs some serious reconsideration. This kills all interest. Who the hell will get up and watch the final next week? Engrave "The Bulls" on the cup and call it off. JOKE!

4. Brendan Canon (Sunday Telegraph) absolutely gave it to Tahu for some very dumb comments re Origin jumpers being more valuable than a Wallabies one! Stupidity. However we must have better rugby correspondents than him and Frier to write in Sydney papers. Both were so so and neither has much authority. Good to see Penrith Rugby start to get ahead a little of late, beating West Harbour and Warringah. Lost !st Grade colts by 100 however. NSW Rugby might just be putting their hands in their pockets beyond Gladesville Bridge.

5. Is Chris Gayle the problem with West Indies cricket? I reckon he is. Too laid back, no value for his wicket, too interested in the bling - not the swing or ding - and a bad example for all teammates. Tough, but think about it. The fish rots at the head.

6. Jose Mourinho. Inter Milan win UEFA Final 2-0 and he continues his formula. Buy the best players. Insist on it and then use them to further your cause as a coach. He can write his own ticket and price now. "The Special One"

7. State of Origin. Is it just me or has the shine been well and truly lost from State of Origin? Years ago there was a genuine rivalry - the King and no interchange among other things. Is the modern version better? NO. There are no real 'hated' figures - or characters - in either team. Choppy, the King, the Axe, Geyer, Chief, Pricey, Artie. Tame and clinical now. Pity.