Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Wrap - No Sheen Left

1. Good to see Souths do something well. Is Tim Sheens a protected species? He has presided over almost perpetual failure since the Tigers won the comp in the mid 1990's. He has some questions to answer. They have a good roster and going backwards. Apparently, the Bye also beats Melbourne and they do not get those points either. The cheating has been thwarted at every turn.

2. This legal contest by four Melbourne Storm directors tells me they too are going to go down soon. This may well be their attempt to discredit the NRL before the guillotine falls on their heads. Good to see Brian Waldron's great mate - Roy Masters - finally get off his digs and write a long awaited article in the SMH on the weekend. He is pathetic. He knows everything that happened and is trying to cover up for a mate. He will be exposed as well - maybe even by his brother, Chris Masters who was formerly with the ABC Four Corners programme. Such is his known guilt by association that he actually made it clear in his article that he went overseas on business and now returns. Sounds like he has been watching Underbelly.

3. Jamie Lyon. If he is selected we lose. His strike rate in NSW colours is abysmal. He is a hex. Surely Idris needs to be there. He has been the biggest impact player since Folau and is ready. If we have Kimmorley, Bird, Tahu, Barrett, Mason, Hindmarsh...yesterday's heroes. we simply have got nothing now. Throwin the ill discipline of O'Donnell, Carney, Gallen...and we lose again. Time to clear the decks.

4. Cricket - 20/20 Final. Michael Hussey suddenly can write his own ticket for inclusion in the Aussie team in all forms of the game. His form has never been better. By the way, the bowler who threw down those last over pies was a disgrace. He could be heading to the Afghanistan TAB as we speak. England will be tough to beat if Pietersen hits a score.

5. Can anyone explain why we have not had a World Cricket Championship here in years? We have to put up with crap TV schedules for games in the Windies and everywhere else - yet we never seem to get a 20-20 or ODI World Cup here...just a lame World XI v. Australia game five years ago. James Sutherland is truly soft.

6. Rugby Super 14 has hit its high point right now. The way it reaches a high point is tremendous for the game, but then it has four in the semis. Suddenly with two games in South Africa we won't see anything and the semis become largely irrelevant. NOt a bad season for Australia - Waratahs in South Africa have a shocking record. Brumbies and Reds did well, but at least one province in each country is floundeing, showing a dearth of talent and depth in SANZAR rugby. Enter Melbourne Rebels.

7. AFL. Collingwood on fire but what about the Swans. Now in free fall and about to get worse with Fremantle next week. What about this AFL crew and their drugs policy? Let's use as many illicit substances as possible and report stats (14 new drug cases this year) but do nothing about them. This is an utterdisgrace. Their tolerance of this needs to be exploded. Otherwise things will not ever improve. JOKE.

8. Mark Webber. Could it be that he is finally getting it right? Losing Monaco from poll position is unheard of. Hopefully he can do this right and get to the lead. He is never far away from disappointment.

9. Hewitt. On the verge of breaking a momentous record about the number of Davis Cup wins for Australia - EVER. Pretty impressive. May never get beaten in our lifetimes.

10. Drogba. Mark him down as close to the best in the world - esp post World Cup. Winner at the FA Cup Final in the weekend was another cracker.

11. By the way, in case you hadn't heard, some girl Jessica arrived in Sydney Harbour the other day on a pink boat.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Wrap - Crunch Time - 9/5/10

1. Storm. This team not only cheats but repeatedly upsets our punter's club with their inept performances in 2010. Amazing what having a similar quality of player base does to them (Smith out). A strong victory by the Broncos however just when we thought they were finished. Titans win the arm wrestle games repeatedly - no frills - but will be nervous about the salary cap story brewing on Four Corners. Sounds like they could be next on the salary cap scrapheap. (Some way or another, those bloody Rabbits will make the semis).

2. Test match - AUST v NZ. I hear the new stadium in Melbourne is leaking day one? Surely Bluey ran the hose over it before the scaffolding was taken down?? Joke. Looks like the playing surface is better than most. Synthetic grass is on it? Not something else fake and false down Melbourne way.

3. Dave Warner. Can anyone believe this bloke did not get the first Cricket Australia contract? He is a genuine entertainer - albeit erratic - and puts bums on seats. He is the future of our cricket, as much as the purists don't want to hear it. Can anyone understand why Sehwag and Tendulkar are not in the World Cup Team? Dravid and Ganguly for that matter. India will be smashed once those blokes retire. Their golden era is near completion. Aussies favourites with World 20/20.

4. AFL. Well Sydney are genuine pretenders after all. Geelong are different with Ablett on deck. They will be there when the whips are cracking. The drive to Geelong from Melbourne is enough to put you off your game - let alone a flight from anywhere in Australia first. Western Bulldogs scratchy at best (Feburary premiers), Collingwood on fire and Freo have held that last train in 2010 and could be good. Brisbane disappoint more often than not.

5. EPL. Chelsea need a win - so do ManU. They are smart in the EPL. All games kick off at the same time in the final round so there is no 'dead rubber' and so those missing out and achieving do it with no influence from other games. Can you imagine the NRL being this strategic?

6. Rugby Union - Super 14. Still can't get my head around why we have four in the semis only - especially when the comp grows from 12 to 14 and then to 15. The comp is tight and improving, but why not cash in on the enthusiasm and energy? The comp seems to dwindle into oblivion each year. No free to air coverage condemns the game really.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Wrap: Missing The Cut With Every Goose In Town

1. Australian Team v Kiwis. Fancy Jamie Lyon being the centre ahead of Jamal Idris/ Timanha Tahu/ Chris Lawrence/ Michael Jennings. Joke. Folau was dudded too with talk of leaving Broncos. He would have gone to the Storm if they had Waldron there still diddling the books. Storm dominate both teams and combined basically have a Test team. Funny that. (Slater, Inglis, Cronk, Smith...and Blair, Manu..throw in Hoffman and White for City v Country).

2. What about the City v Country teams. Every Goose in town is there: Carney, Bird, Lafranchi, Luke O'Donnell, Bryce Gibbs. We cannot win Origin in 2010 with this line up. They personify ill discipline and simply lack brains. Enough said.

It looks like they have either Kimmorley or Hodkinson in line as NSW Origin halfback....ho hum....Josh Dugan or Lachlan Coote look to be Gidley or Hayne's understudies. Raw. Can't beat QLD with that.

Parramatta surprisingly well represented: Tahu, Burt, Mannah, Kris Keating...and Hayne. No sign of Hindmarsh who is far too slow in attack for Origin level. Thought Mortimer may have figured ahead of Hodkinson (ex Parra).

3. How bad are the Warriors? Fair dinkum, they could not hit water if they fell out of a boat. Losing v Canberra rivals Parramatta's loss to Cronulla earlier in the year as the worst of the season. Has Manly ever been a softer outfit - getting a lead and repeatedly getting run down?

4. Rugby is becoming embarrassing. There it is on Fox Sports every Saturday in prime time and all we see are penalties and little else. It is slow - and the NRL is a click or two away. Interesting that Channel 9 recently signed a free to air deal for "highlights" only. Just as well. The rest is crap. By the way, the boredom is best represented by the lack of knowledge people hold (in general) for each Super 14 franchise and its name. Straw poll in the street: Lions, Cheetahs, Hurricanes, Stormers...does anyone give a rodent's rectum?

The other stupidity is their finals structure. A top eight would be far more intense. Top four...stay on the field at halftime...mum's oranges...unprofessional.

5. Toyota Cup. What about this farce? Let's all play touch football. The new generation of footballers don't tackle around legs, they don't do the fundamentals that hard heads cut their teeth on in the game. They play like millionaires and hope they get paid like it too. Don't do any defence though.

6. The resurgence of Tottenham Hotspur under Harry Redknapp has been phenomenal. They lie with a huge chance of being in the top four for European Football next year. Best since El Tel! Chelsea v Liverpool should be a cracker tonight. Chelsea win - should win the lot!

7. Sam Stosur is on fire. Funny how she has dropped about twenty kilos over the last year and has achieved success. Female Australian Tennis stars are right next to the rocking horse dung on the shelf.

8. AFL. Swans about to be tested after a few softer opponents. Getting up to 20 points in the first five weeks almost guarantees a semi final spot however. Get to 30 or 40 and you are in. Freo doing better than ever before too. Richmond should shut down - again.

9. Floyd Mayweather beats Mosely. What about his record? 41-0. Impressive - and copped an early hammering too. Tough stuff.

10. Bit concerned about the Red Sox start to the year. Can't recall a worse start.

11. What about the great Tiger missing the cut. Some blokes - mostly Aussies - do this every week. No big deal. I reckon he might come back. Sooner the divorce is finalised the better. He went better when he was out of control.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Wrap - Whistling Dixie 25/4/10

1. Melbourne Storm. What about the conspiracies? David Gallop looks like he has trodden in dog shiite. Cat's bum mouth. He obviously knows a lot more than we know. It is clearly set to be more deceptive and more extensive than first announced. Slater playing AFL? Can't see that at all. Folau...yes! Brian Waldron's speech on the Footy Show last year (replayed yesterday) was really quite treacherous in the current context.

Part of Melbourne's problem is Bellamy's response. There appears to be very little contrition or concern that cheating like this has hurt opposition teams and has seen his side advantaged over others. He does not seem to get that. Nor does Gus Gould for that matter.

The turn out by the crowd in Melbourne to see them v Warriors was a great show of strength - especially anti NSW sentiment. Is any publicity good publicity in those parts? It could make the club stronger in the very areas of public profile, marketing and membership where it has struggled.

The sponsors who foresake a team or player in tough times are weak sponsors who generally lead inexperienced and poor business ventures. Uncanny that.

2. Sep Blatter. Is there a bigger snake in the grass than this bloke? He tells everyone what they want to hear..."You are doing a great job on the World Cup preparations (code for 'you are in trouble..hurry up')...Oceania deserve automatic qualification...Qatar should host the first 'Asian' (huge scope in that definition) World Cup...and DESERVE to..."

He is a huge liar who is becoming so unconvincing it is embarrassing. He goes back to Europe and they feed him his medication, readjust the electrodes, charge him up and set him straight again. More back downs than a gay bar. At least Juan Antonio Samaranch was just a hard headed fool who told people they were the best AFTER the event. (RIP by the way).

3. ManU hover threateningly. Beating everyone with spirit even with key personnel out. Chelsea will be ahead with a likely victory over Stoke tonight going in to the last rounds. ManU have Sunderland and Stoke in the final two rounds. Chelsea have Liverpool and Wigan. ManU loom as favourites - even though they may be behind on the table.

4. St George v Roosters was a sensational atmosphere. Great ground the SFS - even if it takes you till half time to get a pie and go to the dunny. Great intensity. Roosters defence finally muscled up a little, but the Dragons' goaline defence was superb. They win the arm wrestle more often than not. They are favourites for the comp with no Storm. The Raiders surrender of a 20 point lead was appalling against Souths who finally played some footy. Panthers doing a lot right without frills and the Sharks suddenly look like someone else (ex -Storm) will get the spoon.

Which team can't make the top eight/ nine this year? No excuses this year.

5. Referees. After The Wrap's well timed comments last week re referees, this was heard by the NRL and what a difference it made. One whistle is better than two. Imagine two refs in International Rugby!!!!

6. Reds. Still Ewan McKenzie forges on. He is a proven winner and the Reds look the goods. Fancy the Crusaders losing to the Western Joke. They should hang their heads.

7. How about that USA 400 metre runner LaShawn Merrit who was done for drugs after pursuing penis enlargement therapies. His quote: "To know that I've tested positive as a result of a product that I used for personal reasons is extremely difficult to wrap my hands around," Merritt said in the release. Wishful. Outstanding!

He continues: "Any penalty that I may receive for my action will not overshadow the embarrassment and humiliation that I feel inside." Or is that humiliation he feels "outside".Wonderful stuff. Give it away you galoot.

8. Brisbane's loss to Melbourne had all the signs coming - big heads the lot of them. Voss seems to encourage it. can't win a comp with that. Melbourne look to have turned a bend (as opposed to a corner). Swans on top of the comp is a shock. Lots of running, but watch out when it rains - they'll struggle. Collingwood seem to produce at ANZAC Day each year - pity they don't have this public holiday in September.

Have a good week.

Is Brian Waldron on suicide watch? Look after him down Melbourne way.

Wrap - Special Salary Cap Rorts Edition

The biggest footy story since John Farragher - or John Ribot's defection to Super League - or even the change of Ribot's name from 'Ribot de Bresac' just to 'Ribot'.

Who was the bloke who left the door to the other room unlocked - and the filing cabinet? Bluey? "Whoops...sorry mate..."

Fair dinkum, this business of 'well orchestrated deception'....really the NRL need to check better. Five years to find it all? Hopeless. Schubert is struggling to count with his fingers these days.

If they had exceeded the cap by what is effectively $340,000 per year (one key player), would they have been docked eight points? Probably not. They have been hit hard. Not counting the points this year is a joke.

Instead now, no team will come forward. 'Thanks for being honest (after five years of crap)....here have this sledgehammer over your head'. Watch for CEO retirements. Mick Watson at the Warriors was the first one..now Waldron.

Just put an asterix next to the Storm in the programme, erase their names from the JJ Giltnan Shield and give two of their best players to the Sharks. 2cm margin on that page please too.

My thought is that we may now find that 15 clubs (ex Sharks) have been doing the same. Then what? Call off the season? Announce Sharks as Premiers now.

Can anyone help but think the Broncos under Bennet were not doing something similar in the early 90's?

Good moment for News Limited to drop involvement in rugby league now. Hardly think a boring Partnership Agreement is helped by this.

The game in Melbourne has been rooted. Everyone loves a winner but not a cheating winner.

Anyone for a footy rape scandal...a public urination...taxi rank biff...poo in a shoe...a domestic violence matter...a pub brawl...a theft...a sex tape scandal...

In the words of Dolf "It may even get a mention on the Footy Show tonight".

Regards,

Wrap - Parramatta 2009 Premiers

Breaking news:

THE MELBOURNE Storm have been stripped of two premierships and three minor premierships for rorting the salary cap by $1.7 million over the past five seasons.
NRLchief executive David Gallop has just announced the punishment at a 4pm press conference at NRL headquarters at Moore Park.

Bloody cheating Mexicans. How about that the false bastards. No wonder Waldron has left. Unbelievable

Wrap - Tats = Goose?

1. Parra finally off the ropes, but what about the two refs and the ridiculous sin binnings. Surely someone needs to look at the effectiveness of two referees. It seems to be getting worse - not better.

2. Tendulkar. Clearly the best in the business. His power for a small bloke is incredible. His record in ODI, Tests, IPL, 20/20, the lot is unbelievable and he has three years or so left - even more. Will finish the best since Bradman (Best bat in IPL is Ganguly however. Plenty of steel).

3. Todd Carney. Is there a PHD student out there prepared to analyse the correlation between whether the more tats on one's body, the greater the goose. I can name a few to start with - Ben Cousins, Mundine, Fevola, Matt Rogers....now get to work.

4. Super 14. Ewan McKenzie is quite a trick. He is the best coach we have. Can't wait to see him take over from Robbie Deans. We could revisit a Macqueen era. The Reds were gone last year. Now they look like they can win the thing. By the way, where is the bearded wolfman ACT Brumbies coach from a couple of years ago these days?

5. AFL. Freo finally look like they may threaten. Richmond should merge with anyone. Maybe a Tasmanian team. Swans look sharp on a dry track. The wet will kill them however once winter kicks in. Geelong, St Kilda strong again.

6. Mick Malthouse. Is this guy kidding or what? Somehow he thinks he is above the rest, but his record at Collingwood is modest at best - and nowhere near his record at West Coast when he was afar more pleasant Neville Nobody. What was his penalty for bringing the game into disrepute? AFL needs to toughen up. A push in the back can get the opposition a 50 metre penalty, yet you can call blokes whatever you like, insult the fans and dictate to everyone else. Demetriou needs to get a grip. The image of that game has slipped since he started.

7. Mark Webber. Red Bull are fast, but this bloke is Captain Calamity. He remains the worst driver at the top end of drivers. Red Bull must just shake their heads. Error.

8. Chelsea. can anyone believe the stupidity of some of these blokes sometimes? Money seems to corrupt the spirit. Four points clear - and a win can almost put it our of reach. What do they do? Lose! Now ManU are right back in it. Hopeless. Tottenham couldn't beat Portsmouth midweek - then knock over Chelsea!

9. Typhoon Tracey. Fair dinkum dud in a big field. Did not navigate the race properly - especially on the bend. Seemed to get the Randwick turn wrong, then it was too late. Not the greatest race. In the fair dinkum stakes, when Rangirangdoo wins you know it was a field of plodders. Insulting to the past greats like Sunline really. Drumbeats getting back to some good form.

Have a good week.