Wrap - Mad Malarkey, Buffoonery, Tomfoolery, High Jinks, Codswallop and Skylarking

1. Roosters. Roosters suddenly getting beaten by 60 by Souths a week out from the finals? Please, this is most unusual. Most. Despite all the injuries, they had been winning every week until this one. That needs investigation. Suddenly they locked in fourth position and avoided the Storm in a final who have an awesome record. Staggering good fortune in the Chinese Year of the Rat.

1a. Parramatta. They are bound to go out in straight sets. Beating the Storm is near impossible for them. They have no strength and composure in the tough moments. They lack speed out wide and the defence of Sivo, Blake and Ferguson is poor....the hands are not much better. Getting the five eight back may change it up a little, but speed is lacking.

Look at Gutherson. Kick happy all night v Wigers (ridiculous in many instances) and then with twenty seconds on the clock, he goes to dummy half. He is the skipper. He has just made a superb try saving/ season saving tackle at the other end. He could have kicked the ball out and wasted time...instead he tries to score a heroic try and gives the Wigers two extra tackles... no smarts at the key moments. No premiership. The great first half offloads evaporate when the team is on the chase too. No composure. The elephant ears go off and the hippopotamus ears go on and their play loses structure.

1b. The resting of players en masse could not be seen favourably by the broadcasters. An unusual year in some respects with so many teams not pressing for a semi position in the last moments of the regular season.

When was the last time we had a midweek playoff? Those were the days! A promotion/ relegation fight would be interesting too. Broncos and Bulldogs relegated in 2020. Newtown and North Sydney Bears in!

2. Wigers. Farewell Wests. Goodbye Tigers...it is official... Vossy has announced that Benji Marshall is the best ever Wests Tigers player. Forget about Keith Barnes, Tommy Raudonikis, Keith Holman, Vic Hey, Noel Kelly, Sironen, Elias, Roach, Jack, Les Boyd, Dallas Donnelly..and Mick Neil or the Viking Hardwick. 

In the hype of Saturday night, Benji is now officially better than Robbie Farah (great to see him down safely off the Leichhardt scoreboard), Brett Hodgson, Anthony Laffranchi, Todd Paynten, Liam Fulton, Keith Galloway, Dene Halatau, Chris Heighington, Ben Galea and John Skandalis. Auckland Blues via St George and Broncos. Well done Benji.

Michael Maguire seems to be reinventing himself and clearing the decks. More composure too. He has worked out that he simply has the wrong players. Nothing wrong with his coaching of course. Get rid of the useless Assistant Coaches instead!

 3. AFL. A week off for the AFL before the semis? Is it 2020? Are we still using a VCR? Fax machine? They are taking a silly COVID-19 risk. Keep the show rolling on! Do the players get better or worse with the week off?

4. Mad Monday. No doubt we will see the usual clown costumes, drunkeness, abuse of police and know that the game is back to normal. Why is it restricted to Monday? A Mad Week? Saturday night is always another option. The Super League clubs in England benefit a lot from a terrible mad Monday, so they will be hoping for the usual tomfoolery, malarkey, shennanighans, hanky panky, buffoonery, ratbaggery, highjinks, skylarking, scuttlebutt, claptrap, bunkum, codswallop, hooey and horseplay.

They just send out their eye gougers to play in the NRL. 

Park that sort of behaviour in the 1970s and throw away the keys.

5. Racism in sport. Please, surely we need to crack down on this trash talking too. It is 2020 and we need to accept that if someone calls you out by the colour of your skin, it is the worst of the worst ignorance and stupidity. Tyrone Peachey has every right to get upset. How judgement against another based on skin colour is ever rational thinking is staggering. It is old time elitist prejudice which can do serious damage to another. Low grade. We see it too much. Ban them all.

6. Dean Jones. The legend of Madras needs no repetition. However only 52 tests, but a million ODIs...he really did re-invent the one day game in terms of running between the wickets, wearing sunnies and charging fast bowlers. Insisting bowlers took white wrist bands off was another favourite. He never really warmed to the public, but gone too early in life (reminded me of David Hookes who died 16 years ago now!). I think we all will really miss his recent cricket newspaper articles too which were spot on, honest and insightful.

7. Ashley Clown. The ref gets injured and may miss the semis? There may be a few without much sympathy. Although Ashley is always good for a grandstand finish and a binning at the wrong time. The 2020 season needs him back.

8. NBA. LA Lakers win v Denver Nuggets and Le Bron goes to his tenth finals series. Staggering impact as a player. Miami Heat and Boston Celtics (Heat up 3-2) are both going deep into the best of seven conference finals series. Great use of 'electronic crowd' there.

 9. Olympics cut backs? The IOC have finally woken up that if they don’t change...the concept and gravy train dies! They seem suddenly cooperative. Is there a country that still wants to host the Olympics?

10. Tour de France. Richie Porte. Superb work in the Tour de France. Third overall is an amazing result, especially now that most drug cheats have been sifted out. 

11. French Open Tennis. The French do controversy better than most countries. How? They usually don't really care and cannot stand someone who complains. The rest of the world genuflect to the person offended on behalf of someone else...not the French. They keep rolling on.

12. IPL. Ricky Ponting’s Delhi Capitals are carving it up. Ricky clearly should be appointed as our National T20 coach. He has built an imposing record and gets the game more clearly and easily than others. He is a winner. His regrown hair also looks entirely natural. He doesn't get much wrong!

13. Mitch Marsh. Injures his ankle in the IPL. Honestly, he is up there with Brett Papworth for injuries.

14. Worst NRL Buy of The Year? Esan Masters, Adam Doueihi, Brodie Croft... Curtis Scott?

15. Best NRL buy of the year? Junior Paulo. A remarkable footballer. Silky hands, a step and offloads the ball like a top shelf basketballer. State of Origin bound.

16. EPL. ManU somehow win late v Brighton. Three losses this side of Christmas and you are gone! Chelsea in grief. It is that close the competition. Really liking Leeds early. Flamboyant, but it could become too loose in time!

The Wrap - Attitude Without Gratitude

1. Brumbies 'Super Rugby AU' Winners. Still a powerhouse in Australia after so many years (last won a title in 2004? Maybe that is a sign that our best provincial team still can't win overall!) in winning the Australian Championships. Do we actually need the NZ teams? I don't think so.

Some great attacking rugby at times and top intensity, but if only the players were allowed to play the game. The TMO seemingly needs to get out the Encyclopedia Brittanica to look up the rules. So slow. The errors from the Reds in the last ten minutes just cruelled them. Their attack was a shambles really. The ref was OK, but the tempo of the game was frightfully slow. It is a comedy show when the ref tries to get the scrum technique right in the 79th minute of a final! Fair dinkum they have problems in that game. It is ruined too regularly. I feel sorry for the players and fans, but those officials are pleased!

2. Australian ODI Series Win. Great innings by Carey and Maxwell to secure a series win v England in the ODIs. Pressure cricket. They still need another bat who can bowl. Stoinis could be it, but his bowling is not strong. No Ben Stokes helped Australia. All without Steve Smith was a pretty impressive effort. Carey has ability.

3. Wests Tigers. Michael Maguire has got some issues on his hands. That team cannot score points and has an attitude problem when they are required to really dig in. They should not be leaking 50 points so regularly.  That speaks to character and teamwork surely. Very disappointing. They need a complete clean out - Packer, Joey Leilua, Josh Reynolds, Lawrence, Marshall... all need to go. A clean out of large proportions is required to clean the team up. Not sure if Maguire models the right composure at times, but when Harry Grant goes... Doueihi is on the skids when the Fox arrives.

4. Manly. What a disaster they have been all year too. It has been a long time since we have seen so many poor defensive efforts in a Manly team. Contrast it to the Roosters who with SBW, look invincible for a three peat of premierships. Mitch Aubusson has done well to get to 303 First Grade games.  Nice to see his understated leadership so instrumental at the club. Rare gold these days.

5. NRL Injuries. There are so many serious injuries in the game these days. Too many. Are we getting to a point where, like the NFL, we simply have one game against each team  home and away from one year to the next? Clean, simple, rep season at the end of the year. Transfer window and loan deals of players. Relegation?

6. Touch Football. I am really worried by two plays I saw on the weekend. The Sharks and the Knights both did it. The wall of defence was so impenetrable, the players concerned (Rudolf and Saifiti) just stopped and stood still and looked for a quick play the ball. No structure, no rhythm and an old touch footy tactic. Never thought I would see the day.

7. The Knock Back. Nice to see the knock back make a comeback now we get near the finals. Not everything that hits the ground is a knock on. 

8. GWS. Leon Cameron is surely gone. This club is imploding. Incredibly poor performances in recent weeks. To miss the semis is bad with the quality of their roster. They need a new broom.

9. AFL. The might of Port, Richmond, West Coast and Brisbane has impressed all season. Richmond look like favourites. The Crows (like the Broncos) are new spoon winners. It will be good to see some serious finals footy. It may be more open this year than it looks. Geelong are so inconsistent, yet potentially awesome. Just hung on v Swans and in fact if that last second smother didn't occur, they could have been in fifth place, not fourth.

9. EPL. A quick new season, but the new signings are just catching up! Gareth Bale will be a good pick up at Spurs. Corona virus has sent a few well paid sports stars back to reality. Liking the attitude of Leeds early on, but ManU losing to Crystal Palace..please. A loss like that early on and you are almost dead in the water for the title these days.

10. US Open Golf. Patrick Reed and de Chambeau...two blokes who have hurt the game a fair bit. Both were at the top of the tree, but Reed has fallen with a 77. Good to see the 2010 British Open champion, Louis Oosthuizen in contention. 

It will be interesting to see if they stay composed under pressure or chase photographers and use the leather wedge... Liking the display of the Woolf at a young age. Not since the great Penrith and Parramatta centre Ken, has there been a Woolf like him. Apparently, he used to be a werewolf, but he is not anymooooorrrrreee!

11. Classique Legend. Blinding pace at Randwick on Saturday. One to watch in the Everest. Chautauqua-like!

The Wrap - You Have To Be Djoking

1. NRL. The Panthers are carving it up and will take the JJ Giltinan as minor premiers (often forgotten on Grand Final day). As Brad Arthurs says, by losing the spine, especially Cleary, they will be in bother....but what team wouldn't be? That doesn't excuse the way Moses runs across field and the lack of punch up the centre that the team has inherited. The offloads are not landing. It was a little disconcerting to see Gutherson so charged up in the panthers game. A distraction from playing better! 

The Storm keep rolling on and so do the Raiders. The Storm finish top two again - incredible! Parramatta are in a bad way. No pace and so slow - especially without the bullet passes of the young hooker, Reed Mahoney.

2. Roosters. The Roosters with injuries and issues are still a powerhouse. SBW gives them an absolute edge. Trent Robinson is an absolute gun. Always stays single minded and never distracted by nonsense. Too busy winning comps!

3. Commentator Curse. Is it just me or is Blocker getting more generalised and off the pace as an NRL commentator? His defence of Townsend last week was a worry. Maybe it is me.

4. Adam O'Brien. Starting to worry about the composure of the Newcastle NRL coach. The team are playing with the same erratic style.

5. US Open Tennis. Novak Djokovic made a goose of himself. Disqualified in the tournament for hitting a ball at a line umpire that was his on a platter. Anyhow, with next to no one there, Serena also stumbled and Naomi Osaka triumphs for her third Grand Slam. In the men's either Zverev or Thiem is set to win their first title. Zerev may care to send Kgyrios a text!

6. EPL. They have hardly had time to get to the travel agent and banana lounge and they are back! Never ending play and still the sensational quality continues. Leeds who were recently promoted have risen to the challenge, going down to Liverpool, but only just. We will know the EPL winner by November. It wouldn't be the EPL without West Ham getting poleaxed in the first round. A long season ahead.

7. GWS Giants. The coach, Leon Cameron, is under the pump. That team should be top four every year. It is time for a change there. Crows launching back, but Carlton are floundering. Nearly fell over that the AFL are thinking of having their week off before the semis again in a season where they have played every night! Old habits...

8. Wallabies. 16 uncapped players selected...maybe this is the time to rebuild, with so much dead wood over recent years, this may keep a few from signing with rugby league.

9. Daniel Riccardo. Is this guy out of excuses yet? A few W's would help him. It seems to be everyone else's fault. No 'shoeys' this season.

10. Tour de France. No coronavirus problems there...pile in together and the crowd three deep. Maybe time for a few from Victoria to get to the travel agent. 

11. Curtis Scott. The Police are kidding there, but what is wrong with a grown man on a big salary on the drink and having a sleep in the park? He was a long way from the Ivy.

12. Australian Cricket. Thumped in T20...still no secrets uncovered yet. We simply have the wrong balance in the team. The ODI team has fared better. Mitchell Marsh might just be hitting his straps. Bowling at night in England - does it get any better for a medium pacer?

Wrap - Better Crowds in COVID Than Before It

 1. NRL Fools #1. Josh Reynolds and Russell Packer. Too cold to stay at the game and you leave at half time? Both need releases from their contracts. They would not get a start at the Swans as their recruitment policy would disqualify them both (although they would be scratching their heads re Elijah Taylor). The Russell Packer effort against  Ryan Matterson earlier in the year summed him up. How do they look their team mates in the eye? They are salary cap sponges and show the divide in the camp. They need a clean out in Tiger town...both of these blokes, Macqueen, Marshall, Lawrence, etc... Ivan Cleary did the club no favours (but is going alright now at the Penny Panthers).

2. Canberra are fraying. Absolutely smashed by injuries and have done well to recruit all sorts of other players, but now Josh Papaali wants to go home. Ricky has an expiry date with some players (Bateman is another). They did well to hang in there, but Rapana and Simonsen/ his replacement are not giving much value to them out wide this year.

3. Manly. It has been a long time since Manly have been this bad. Des Hasler is not getting them on song. Their depth is getting there with lots of . The St George misery in 2020 continues. Zac Lomax is having a brilliant year. Awesome.

4. Humidor. That horse still has it after a blinding win at 20-1 on Saturday at Moonee Valley. Superb training effort from Chris Waller.

5. Australian T20 in England. Not that any one gives a tinker's cuss about it, but is there any logic that we send cricketers abroad to play in front of no one? Staggering. Interested to hear how Cricket Australia have now given up everything and traded off the farm and are one of the international paupers of the game. Incredible how useless the administration has been of late. The way they started looks like a clean series whitewash is on the cards.

Can we have day cricket at some stage? Night cricket is wearing thin too.

5. Waratahs. Another year of misery is undone in the usual way. Under performance, no stickability and lack of desperation. Awful to say, but a terrible year really. They are a franchise on the nose and would be one of the few franchises with the same crowds before, during and dare I say after COVID-19.

6. AFL. A sorry state of affairs with the Richmond Footy club just tripping over itself endlessly. They need to toughen up. The COVID-19 bubble certainly tests player sensibilities and stickability... and coaches and clubs. The ability to last and endure seems to be the same off the field as on the field for some.

7. SBW. For all the criticism, he is always the statesman and so talented. He takes a hit and always looks to progress the footy. What a superstar to get on the way to the GF. Awesome. Not sure how the salary cap allows it, but no one understands that bloody thing. If it was a public document, everyone would understand.

8. US Open Tennis. Djokovic is warming into the easiest Grand Slam win of his life. He has the rat cunning and skill to land this one again. Serena looks sharp but the US Open has been home to some of her worst losses in finals, including against Sam Stosur. Top effort from Hills kid, Jordan Thompson...into the forth round and possibly quarter finals of the show against a tired Coric!