Wrap - Worst Ever Origin Selection

1. English National Team Soccer. A trifle worrying that they struggle against Australia and win 2-1. That ridiculous own goal may go down as one of the worst for a long time. Call the Integrity Team please. They seem to get in a lethargic tangle as a national team all the time. Perhaps they just need to attack. It's the only large national team they have without an Australian coach in charge. How long might that take?

2. Cooper Cronk. EVERY year we get the Queensland injury story pre Origin. This year it is Cronk, we've had Thurston, Inglis...on it goes. YAAAWWWWNNNNNN. EVERY year we also get the NSW fight with QLD in the paper with silly comments from stupid ex-players. All the while QLD are planning a massacre.

3. Dylan Walker. Is he the worst selection for NSW since Phil Dukes or Phil Sigsworth? How does he make it? Jamie Buhrer? David Williams? Rex Wright? Steve Turner? Who has been NSW's worst selection ever?

4. NRL. The origin series truly buggers up the season and detracts for the club games. Surely you play the rounds as required and clubs decide to rest Origin players if they see fit. Origin is not what it once was...sad to say it. This never ending list of byes is outrageous and boring. Tigers beat Broncos and Saints beat the Cowboys...Bulldogs lose. I rest my case. Will Parramatta roll over and lose to the Henny Penny Knights?

Re Parramatta. Gutherson might go to fullback now...spare me please....!!!!! Get rid of someone with brains (Gordon) who can tackle (Gutherson?) and keep a brainless fool in Norman at $800K? Are they kidding? He is not that good.

PARRA CRAP Sheet:

• Semi - driving while unlicensed
• Jennings - biffing police at Parramatta
• Norman - drugs charges; consorting
• Wicks - clink
• Mahu - clink
• Watmough - drink driving...others...urinating in public, biffing sponsors...
• Paulo - road rage on the M4; consorting
• Kenny Edwards - thrown out of three clubs...

Who is next? have I missed anyone else?

4. IPL Final. Virat Kohli is easily the best batsman in the world. I dare say in all forms of the game. Anyone else is second best. He regularly - no, always - gets the job done. He fights under pressure and rarely fails. He is a fierce and talented opponent. The intensity of Warner is something else too. His semi final innings was worth an extra million or two on his next contract. He is a phenomenon who should inspire every kid who has not been selected on a clipboard held by a fat bloke with no talent. You can make it on sheer talent!

5. French Open. Sad that Nadal has withdrawn with a wrist injury. His fierce style is taking its toll on his body. He almost needs a year off. Compare him to the Australian clowns - Kyrgios and Tomic. They should be embarrassed to share the same locker room. Murray looks to be coasting. Djokovic must lift here to remove the monkey off his back - he misses Nadal and Tsonga...no excuses.

6. Waratahs. Still hanging in there and a great win v Chiefs. Hooper looks like he is running in to some form. Speaking of which, the great Kar - Mike Hunt has been selected for Australia and stands to play his third code at the top level. Pretty impressive.

7. Thrilled to see Tommy Raudonikis doing the pre-game chat to the Wigers v Broncos. Tommy won two wooden spoons in his time as coach...hopefully he does not curse this year's team. Best speech since the team bonding yacht trip with Tice.

8. Michael Clarke is surely kidding. He intends to trial for NSW next year and play domestic cricket. Could someone tap him on the back and remind him he is spent?

9. Moeen Ali has added a strength to the English cricket team since being selected not that long ago. He is tenacious and really digs in to rescue a situation. A valuable cricketer. Top scored in England's first innings (155no) of the second test v Sri Lanka.

Wrap - Pizza Shop Dogs

1. Every now and then we get treated to supreme athletes (Federer, Nadal, Djokovic, Woods, Warne, McGrath, The King Wally, Thurston, Ablett, Ronaldo, Dalton et al). Buddy Franklin is one of them. His kick is phenomenal. Not huge pins, but huge desire and athleticism. He electrifies and excites crowds....a rare quality only reserved for the very best.

2. Speaking of which....Thurston. A super player and better man these days. Little nonsense....only occasionally in the odd State of Origin. A champion who dominates week in and week out. Never injured (touch wood). rarely ever loses twice. Cowboys v Broncos seems the only option for the Grand Final. Maybe Sharks on a good day...

3. I noticed Dojkovic got rolled in the final on clay in Rome last weekend. He has never won the French Open. A final frontier for him after winning all else. He needs to lift at the pointy end which he will inevitably be part of come finals day.

4. Cricket. England at home are awesome in cricket. No one swings and seams the ball as well as Anderson and Broad. They are unplayable for those from the subcontinent on an overcast day - especially with Trevor Bayliss holding the reins. Smashed the Lankans.

5. How fat has John Coates gotten since joining the IOC gravy train?....plenty of gravy there!! Fat as a pizza shop dog. It seems he likes to throw his considerable weight around...Volkers, Diamons, Kgyrios...

6. NSW Origin selectors are at it again....flagging odd selections through ex players. Flying a million names up the pole. Had a chuckle when Andrew Johns picked the Canberra Colonel Sanders, Blake Austin. Was in absolute hysterics when I saw Sterlo want to drop Gallen. Ludicrous. Not sure of why everyone wants Mansour on the wing. Terrible under the high ball. Moylan needs to be there and running - not as a playmaker, but Greg Bird at five eight? Give us a break. Some good forwards stock (Klemmer, Jackson, Woods, Tamou, Scott, Gallen, Ennis), but Maloney at five eight will not work. Not sold on James Roberts either. Quick, but not smart. How many blokes are "a chance"? Half the comp.

 

7. GWS were slick against a more than handy Western Bulldogs team. They are fast, skilful and have targets all across the field. They will dominate soon enough.,

 

8. Kgyrios is absolutely correct. The umpire in the first round of the French Open was biased. He is sick of his shenanigans and tomfoolery tooltime.

 

9. Jarryd Hayne. Please convince me that he left the NFL to try and make the Fijian Rugby Sevens team with no surety of a place at Rio? You are kidding. He is there. The selection headache is who do you leave out for him. He is a definite - otherwise he is back in the NRL. He needs to gain credibility, but write him off at your own peril.

 

 

Wrap - Oxygen Burgers

1. The Newcastle Knights. We have heard all the stories...tough as teak miners scrapping for a feed playing rugby league and eating old boots for dinner. Where have they gone? Wayne Bennett and Nathan Tinkler take a bow. The place has been screwed over by you both and the damage is now evident. Bennett had a chance to make his mark as an amazing coach. He seemingly left when it looked like hard work. The Bronco cash can do that to anyone. The tears of Dane Gagai once explained were pretty horrible. Initially it looked like plain despair at the result. When racial abuse is involved this is appalling. Why does rugby league attract so many clowns?




2. How good are the Cronulla team travelling? 62-0 is impressive at any time. Really if they cannot do it on this roster this year, they will never do it. Stars all across the park and try scoring flare. Lots of tight games on the weekend too - Souths, St George...and blowouts. The form of Manly is particularly worrying. Their ill discipline is not your typical Manly team.

3. I am troubled by some signs in the Sydney Swans that we saw on and off last year. Brilliant and industrious one week, then patches of carelessness at key times. They are too inconsistent at present and paid a huge price on Saturday night v Richmond. The dopey choice at the death by a Swan to kick down the middle and not to the corners and sidelines proved very costly. Inexperienced rookie error.

4. Jason Day is an impressive man - and golfer. His efforts at Sawgrass in the TPC Players  Championship - on amazingly quick greens (Huntingdale like) - are fabulous to date. Hopefully he can bring it home for the victory on Sunday.

5. Clearly Virat Kohli and AB De Villiers are the best ODI and T20 batsmen in the world. When they play for the same IPL franchise...look out. Twin tons yesterday. Crushing victory. I noticed Glenn Maxwell has had THREE ducks this season. Not bad for a multi millionaire. Adam Zampa got 6 wickets the other day too. Has talent!

6. I must hand it to the Waratahs and Gibbo. On top of the Australian table and looking like they are hitting some true form. Beale got the deal of a lifetime from Wasps...and a knee to remind him of the highs and lows of the game in one week.

7. How about this EPL thing? It is really, really good. A final week simultaneous kick off so that every club is locked in mystery until the end. No tanking and high drama as relegations, promotions and new champions and Europa League entries are determined. Noticed the great Pep is on his way to Man City. They need an overhaul and should have won it this year. Soft losses.

I loved the news story on the Leicester faithful selling bottles of oxygen from the stadium to commemorate the EPL title win. There is a lot of scope to that Business Model!

Wrap - Foxes and Hounds

1. The real Eels story in case you missed it....Ryan Morgan has signed with Melbourne Storm mid week thereby bringing the Eels under the salary cap. His prized fat contract is now off the books...until he decides if he wants to return to the Eels next year...(how can this be?).

2. Apart from the autonomy of clubs and the insult it provides, can anyone explain why the NRL do not simply hold all of the player salary component of their grant centrally and as contracts are registered and approved by the NRL, all monies are paid from them centrally. Saves on monitoring of salary cap. This then opens up Third Party Agreements (TPA's) as an area where there is no confusion and absolute proof required. Narrowing of investigation and club transparency is surely improved.

In addition, the following things should occur immediately:

a. All cash payment providers and recipients (player agents and players) are investigated and punished.
b. Club contracts to participate in the NRL are dependent on NRL representation on the Board of any club proven to be in breach of the salary cap.
c. Publication of all TPA's occurs publicly (minus the names of players receiving them, but bundled by player1, player 2, etc).
d. Bank accounts of all players can be inspected as part of participation in the NRL...controversial, but seemingly necessary.

At present it is a confused and jumbled mess. It is also possibly the most boring story in world sport.

The noble advice from dopey ex players who now drive buses, sell used cars or tried to burn their own cars for insurance fraud is surely welcomed by very few. Noble advice to walk away and resign also presupposes guilt.

The NRL do not strike me as a squeaky machine that is blameless or exercising great precision. 750,000 documents and they have read them all in context? Please....Greenberg himself has had to defend himself from stone throwers over the Barba affair a couple of seasons ago. How did he feel about that? Accept it and walk away? He should know better than to talk tough without time for the club to respond. Rank amateur really.

Once again the proof relies on the self interest of mates (Seward-Greenberg) and fluke discoveries to pin a club. Is Seward to be trusted? A merchandiser for Bulldogs turned CEO? He was the dope who allowed the Foran clause!

How might this impact on someone's livelihood in the future if they accept this as fact? Due process and procedural fairness is owed to the 'Gang of Five', regardless of what Ray Hadley or other news hounds thinks. I wonder how Ray would feel if it was his livelihood? He is often managing matters before the court.

Anderson started in October 2013...for 2014 and 2015 and he is to blame? What about Paul Osborne? Bob Bentley and Ken Edwards before Sharp (started in May 2013)? It runs deeper than this. A convenient way to score points (ironically) for yourself as the new CEO of the game.

3. City v Country. Great for the guys in the game, but what was learned from it regarding selections for NSW Origin? Cartwright should be first picked. De Belin is a cracking player.

4. Leicester. I have been banging on about their progress for many, many weeks. It is a fairytale result which underlines that spoiled rich players are not always better. Leicester will probably never even get close again, but will always be remembered for this remarkable triumph. Their coach Ranieri is tremendously composed and calm. He could teach many coaches a lot.

5. Waratahs are clawing their way back. Is it just me or is the surface of Alliance Stadium an absolute disgrace. It is a slow bog - like the old Brookvale Oval. Looks like they might have to fix it now that no new stadium will be built. It does not lend itself to entertaining play. It is too heavy underfoot.

6. Swans. Slow to start, but cranked it all up eventually. Buddy is exceptional. This Isaac Heeney is something amazing too. His vertical leap and strength is outstanding!

North Melbourne and the Western Bulldogs are playing real well. Tough and athletic. Speedy and smart. Hawthorn will be back to whack the GWS team who are also progressing well. Interesting that Eddie Maguire would prefer to beat GWS by 60 points or 100 points, but when they improve...?? He should spend more time getting Collingwood right. They have been appalling in 2016. Adelaide are travelling better that they appear on the ladder. The old classic...play enough good teams and you look bad early. The same points as the Demons, but a stratosphere apart.

7. Cricket. Does anyone know anything about the IPL...it drags on and needs to be restricted. Get back to normal transmission. I note Micky Arthur has been appointed to coach Pakistan. There's a divorce right there.

8. Tomic. If he goes to the Rio Olympics sport has hit rock bottom. Playing match point with his racquet handle...he should be banished forever. Would anyone care? No. Kgyrios the same. Imposters both. End them as they themselves have ended their availability for Australia as it has suited them. What is tennis doing in the Olympics? A hopeless joke. Have a look: http://www.smh.com.au/sport/tennis/2016-madrid-open-bernard-tomic-faces-serve-with-a-reversed-racquet-20160503-gollmq.html

9. Lucas Neill - where is the CAAAAAAAAAAASH?

Wrap - Bridesmaids and Dunny Seats

1. Jonathan Thurston is surely the best league player we have seen in our lives. Incredible vision. Tough. Resilient. Always fit.  Plays every week. A leader. Magnificent kicking game, outstanding passing game. Superb goal kicker. Smiles and has fun with grace and manners. At the 60th Minute it was North QLD on 22 points. At the end they have 34 points. They finish strong and fast. Like you.

The Kyle Feldt hang time kick off is remarkable. More remarkable that other teams don't practice it. With all those fancy support staff and high performance knobs, who's working on this? It lets the Cowboys dominate field position.

2. Hawthorn were terrible v GWS. They need a rocket. They have scraped by for weeks...and got pumped by a fitter, younger and talented team of would be stars. Have the AFL made the GWS team unbeatable? Many won't know that in NSW they have been given the Riverina area as a breeding ground....they will dominate soon enough!

The GWS crowd was terrible. That ground holds about 15K and it was two thirds full. They have not caught the imagination of western Sydney. Homebush is not really that west in Sydney. Their base at Blacktown has basically been abandoned. It is all superficial. They have a big problem with ANZ becoming a rectangular field. If they succeed as they will, Spotless will be a joke (it is even an overcrowded joke now with the Sydney Thunder!). They will need to play out of the Swans home ground - the SCG! Or develop a new stadium at Blacktown. Most of Sydney could not name three GWS players! 

Richmond and Freo are doing really bad this year. Freo's fall is really unacceptable for how well they have done the past two years. Key injuries don't help. Coach on thin ice.

3. Newcastle have hit rock bottom. Their effort is about 60 minutes worth. They need to recruit heavily. Nathan Brown will need to bring Tommy down to the sheds to help him face slap the whole team. How good was Bennett for the club? Not to mention Tinkler?

Cronulla are firming as NRL premiership champions. Not sure how you keep Bird, Ennis, Maloney, Fifita, Barba, Townsend and Graham under the salary cap....but they are...!

A big week for Jason Taylor and Andrew McFadden who clung to wins to save their careers. Good to see a hard line being taken by the Warriors. Bad attitudes have hurt them for ever. A clean out is also needed.

4. Jamie Lyon is the greatest whinger since...since Michael Ennis. Geoff Toovey taught him well. His dive to convince the stupid clowns in the bunker to deny a try was disgraceful. His retirement is overdue. Very talented but too cranky now...cranky at Parramatta...cranky not playing for Australia...cranky not being available for New South Wales in their hours of need...pure crank. Back to the ute at Wee Waa.

5. Western Sydney Wanderers. Bridesmaids again. Incredible intensity. That league is a huge success really. Incredible support and noise. Three out of four GF's and three losses won't make Popovic happy, but an Asian Champions title is pretty impressive. Rale Rasic would be proud! The fact Adelaide United lost their first eight games (yes!) and won the minor premiership and then the comp...what an effort! The fans - 50,000 - are truly mad! That dunny seat trophy needs a makeover.

6. Waratahs. Gutsy win v Stormers in South Africa and there looked like a bit of newfound spirit has emerged! Brumbies struggling big time. Australian teams are a long way behind the NZ teams as usual.

7. Leicester to beat ManU. Unlikely, but they deserve it. Paying $3.50 for a win and being underdogs is very unusual for an EPL front runner.

8. Rep round in the NRL. A perfect time for the Eels punishment announcement...and AFL ratings to soar.