Wrap - Stars and Hype

1. Am I missing something re the Sydney Chunder? They win the thing last year...they retire two stars (Hussey and Kallis) and replace them with no one. They are batting Pat Cummins at number 6...pathetic depth and no strike power. The fans deserve better. Watson will not be the answer just quietly. They are spoon bound. You need plenty of good bats to triumph. Look at WA Scorchers...they have it. So do the Hobartians.

2. This bloke Matt Lodge (the NY menace) and Fifita. The game needs to slam these blokes. It does not need them if they can't behave. Surely an NRL ban on any writing in arms/ tape/ padding is required too? Lodge had a stint with this nonsense too. Why the NRL does not insist on that for all players is beyond me. They need pure champions, not fallen angels, prisoners and the dark side. The game's image is forever being battered. A hard sell to parents long term.

3. Chad Robinson. An extremely sad tale. Depression and massive gambling debts seem to plague many NRL players. What is ever put in place for retirees other than a Grand Final Day farewell? They need to strengthen the support and training pathways...When the adulation dies off and the autographs fade, what is left? The coaching boxes and commentary boxes are crowded places.

4. Boxing Day Test. There seems to be a sort of national betrayal when we play teams that are not England, India or South Africa in this national day. The others wouldn't fill Punt Road. Now that Melbourne is surrendering its 'sports mad' title to Brisbane and Perth, they don't seem so interested either. Their cricket crowds are lower than their football crowds.

Warner due for a score. Hopefully he can exhibit the required composure. It has been a long time coming. Had to agree with his straight talk post the Gabba Test. We won. We are on a roll - not the losing team. We need to bat well in Melbourne. Too often we have crumbled on Day One.

It has been a long time since a team getting 477 in their first innings loses a Test. England had a wretched time of it on the sub continent v India. We will be similar.

5. The ICC Team of the year omitted Smith, Moeen Ali and Virat Kohli. Based on dates and early cut offs. Clearly the ICC can now get nothing right at all - ever. What a disgrace. Move the dates lads - make it a calendar year...surely that is not too difficult.

6. Bill Lawry. His return is eagerly anticipated to the commentary cheam. Some sanity. I don't think a commentary team of Slater-Healey-Clarke gives enough. I noticed the great Tony Cozier died this year. I missed that one, but one of the great voices. They need more credibility at Channel 9 - and more antagnoism. They would not be hurt by a Crash Craddock or Mike Coward adding a bit of steel and controversy to it all. There needs to be more aggro between the commentators. We got this with Ian and Tony..Bill and Tony. Now we have a sameness to it all.

7. The cash being offered EPL stars out of Chinese football is staggering. They might have the best league in the world before too much longer.

8. I like Eddie Jones' idea re Super Rugby. Get rid of the Rebels and the Force and stop pretending.

9. Is the Sydney to Hobart race getting worse each year? No one gives a bugger about the rich guy in a massive boat looking to break the race record. They want stories of triumph over adversity. They want storms and toughness. They want fewer celebrities and more excitement! The footage of the whole thing becomes very tired once they leave the heads.

Wrap - Garry Galah

1. "Garry...well bowled Garry"...Matthew Wade is adding brilliantly to the crowd culture, but not that much else. Dropped catches. Missed stumpings. He is just not good enough with the gloves. His bat seems a bit average too. Nevill is a likely starter in India.

Garry (Nathan Lyon) was cheered louder than anyone. He has fought back really well from being on the cusp of extinction! The Gabba is the best deck in Australia by a long shot now. GOAT.

2. As predicted, Nic Maddinson is definitely a fish out of water. He has always had talent but has always lacked poise and self discipline too. Test cricket is not the playground for a risky temperament or inconsistent technique. Kurtis Patterson should always have been selected ahead of him. Younger and now two Tests the poorer. Handscombe's composure and focus is impressive.

Suddenly with no more extended cricket across Australia, Maddinson may retain his spot. Unbelievable.

3. Sarfraz is a good bat. Not sure of a connection to the great Sarfraz Narwaz who was disliked like many Pakistani players over the years...eg: Javed Miandad, Inzamman...They have errors in them Pakistan! That or TAB tickets...you never know which one sadly.

4. Cricket has ridiculous nonsense around wet weather. Umpires are out of touch. Delays and silly time reschedules. Wake up and join the 21st Century. It's warm in here.

5. Big Bash time this week. A time when the second TV comes into its own for the rest of the family. Remember too, start strategising about offloading the Foxtel movie package (if you have not already) in preparation for the footy season. Saturday night is dad time. The movie package of course is either far too expensive/ out of date/ not enough variety. Take your pick.

6. NRL. Just when we thought there was an outbreak of normal behaviour, right on cue Kenny Edwards produces a domestic violence charge. That would be Radeangurangoo, Edwards and the new Rabbits signing fro mthe same Eels squad now...maybe throw in Corey Norman too. Plenty of work for lawyers.

7. Besart Berisha has some sort of killer instinct. He is an absolute winner. A goal scorer like no other in the A League. Hated by opponents - loved by teammates!

8. ManU recovering, but Chelsea will be hard to peg back now. 9 points ahead is significant in the EPL! They have strung together a massive 11 wins in a row...

Wrap - Raju, Raju, Raju

1. Boys we are at a lean time of the year for Sport. When the A League is about it you are in trouble...and motorsport - or the UFC. Bring on the Big Bash I say! (Is it just me or is there something really annoying about Mark Waugh? I have heard he won't go to his mailbox without a cheque from Australia Post for a guest appearance).

2. The ODI series win against NZ always makes us feel warm and pleasant inside. Warner dominant and Smith amazing...but who else? Maybe Head was good. Starc awesome. But Finch and Bailey need to go. Surely we have better than both...Lynn? Then we realise we beat no one of consequence.

Pakistan will give it to us and a few techniques will be hung out to dry as usual. Worried about this Renshaw - and Maddinson. Both have huge flaws in their style. Hopefully they can withstand the heat from Aamir (Sohail the great man) the spot fixer, Riaz and co.

Noticed talk of a 'red card' for cricket this week...only a matter of time. Remember where you heard it first, but I personally feel the sin bin is best...5 overs off (= 10 overs if you bowl)...10 overs off (= 20 overs if you bowl).

3. Virat Kohli continues to dominate - three double tons in a year. As Dolf would say, the problem with Kohli is he just does not seem to produce runs when it matters. In India he is near invincible. He will be really anxious when Nathan Lyon gets hold of him though...(not!). Gotta laugh when a number 9 scores a Test ton. Yadav. A common Indian name...Shivlal springs to mind. We will get thumped over there. Badly thumped...

I must say I am disappointed that there a dearth of great Indian names at present...outside of your regular Ravis and Jayants...there is nothing like VVS Laxman, Laxmanan Sivaramakrishnan, or indeed my personal favourite, Venkatapathy Raju!

Richie Benaud loved this one - cue your best Richie voice - and say after me: "Rar - jyu!".

4. Great to see a good swimming coach story in summer. Usually it is a stray pill in the bag, a child abuse tale, a catastrophic meltdown or a bureaucratic nightmare. This one? Dennis Cotterill earning a million in China to coach their drug tainted group.

5. Nice to see Leicester bump out Man City. Rare gold for them this year.

6. I am disappointed the NRL can only give us a few lame staged fights at this stage of the year...should be about time for a drug scandal/ nite club scandal/ dog incident...instead the AFL seem to be hogging the headlines - especially with their player payment dispute.

7. This won't mean much to some of you, but the Boston Redsox have traded a lot of young talent for Chicago Whitesox pitcher, Chris Sale. An impressive snare. This could tip them into super favouritism next season. Noticed Bryce Harper is looking for a $400 million extended deal. Not bad coin.

8. Kgyrios and coach Philippoussis ...they deserve each other. One sounds like crap and the other has an attitude like crap. Give it six weeks.

Wrap - Summit to Plummet

1. Australian cricket. What is it that is annoying about this present lot? The constant chopping and changing in the team, the wasteful scores of twenty or so, the out of touch administrators obsessed with cash, or the proliferation of underperforming egos? Whatever it is, Glenn Maxwell sums most of that up. The spat with Wade was typical selfish cricket rubbish, beat up by the media and a mystery fine results ($100?).

The Steve Smith ODI innings of 164 and his catch at backward point may improve our stocks there. The arrival of BBL 06 will ignite a bit more passion.

2. F1 Retirement of Rosberg. Really? They are a temperamental lot. Again, hard to follow and hard to like, regardless of the size of the show. Riccado an exception.

3. A League. Saw an article comparing it to the English Premier League on the weekend. The comparison ends with the word 'league'. Poles apart.

As suggested earlier, get on Leicester for relegation. It will be a world record price - summit to plummet. Chelsea's weekend ambush of Manchester City was stunning. Their turnaround since the departure of Mourinhou has been equally as impressive. Man United's form has been generally quite poor under the same bloke.

That Aussie, Tom Rogic continues to impress in the Scottish league...needs to join the main show.

4. Wallabies. When will Cheika stop trying to be the main man? He talks too much. In the end, his poor 2016 record demands respectful silence. We have been hammered when it mattered most. We need a bit more leadership and resolve in the group. His days are numbered.

5. Harold Varner III wins the Australian PGA. Is there another sport where the number of your lineage "the third" appears more often than golf? It all started with "Thurston Howell the third" on Gilligan's Island all those years ago.

6. A kiwi won the Supercars. Great but no one cares. Car racing can do that to you.

7. Can anyone explain the scheduling where there is no Shield game this weekend? Unbelievable. I'm getting the feeling that as a cricket playing nation, our administrators may be bringing the demise of test cricket to us more rapidly than any of us could have dreamed. Time for a change there. High performance? Hardly.

Wrap - Silent D

1. Cricket. It is obviously here to stay, but night Test cricket has a long way to go. The change in the behaviour of the ball at night with dew and in the cold changes the whole game. I think it is too dramatic a shift. It does however break open the game and stop batsman getting featherbed conditions. Think India. The spectre of teams slowing down their over rate and bowling more overs under lights is a real issue. Score in the daylight or you are doomed!

Liked the steel in Hanscomb. His Big Bash batting has won many of those games where he showed the much needed grit and determination. Even hitting the winning runs in Adelaide was done with class and intent. He knows his game. Don't like Maddison at all. Lumbering. Slow. Patterson was the pick and they missed him at a key moment. The temperaments of Warner and Smith have been under full examination recently. Some cracks. Too much cricket? (Too much of the tough cricket that people remember perhaps?).

Not getting too excited about the future in winning a dead rubber. Renshaw had more edges than a fifty cent coin in that second innings.

2. Is anyone surprised the great toothless and clawless (clueless?) tiger of the ICC cannot suspend for ball tampering? They talk tough as usual, but no results!

It will surprise no one that despite being 5/180, Virat Kohli is 50 and hunting down another 100 in the latest Test v England. Unflappable and unbelievable.

3. Peter Nevill 179 not out. Matt Wade will need to swim faster. His mouth works. He just needs to get his bat and gloves working too. Common problem? Bad footwork. Maybe colour blindness under lights is an issue. I liked De Kock's intent and work as keeper. Known as 'Silent D' to his mates.

4. Wallabies. A disappointing result v Ireland. Lots of hoopla and zero in the end. Maybe a few more blokes playing last week might have helped. England under Eddie Munster keep marching on!

5. Valentine Holmes and Jason Taumoulolo. These blokes can't remember to behave let alone any NFL playbook. No chance. Publicity freaks.

6. The rugby league performance was outstanding v NZ in England. Darius Boyd was excellent as always. We might actually have some tough NSW players on the up on the back of this...Dugan, Merrin, Cordner, Ferguson...They may have learned a bit more than we thought.

7. EPL. Some tremendous work by the big three: Chelsea, Liverpool, Man City. The big guns are out in a ding dong battle. Arsenal, Tottenham and Man United have restored world order in the EPL once more. No one else can win it in 2016/17.

Wrap - Answer The Phone

1. So there we were thinking Cheika was in line for another clown mask - and suit - but the Wallabies win for a 3-0 record. Foley has done really well abroad. Not sure if they have it in them v Ireland and the Poms. The Cooper love affair needs to end. He is simply not up to it.

2. Test Team. Never has Shield cricket had this much attention. Handscomb is a gritty cricketer. We need more grit. I get the feeling that Ferguson's temperament is a problem. His brother's is that's for sure. What the hell is going on with Warner? Rash shots in the last Test. Rash shots in the Shield. He needs to show more steel.

As was pointed out to me, Voges copped one on the emblem that dropped him. Barely saw it. Time to retire.

I must say Nic (no 'k') Maddinson is a passenger. Lacks consistency and will not last. Great to see Mennie and Ferguson gone - both out of their depth. They join a few famous names as one test wonders...Emery, Law, Malone, Faulkner, Hastings, Young, Blocker Wilson, Nicholson, McGain, Manou, Casson, Cullen, Davis and the bad Wayne Phillips. Pat Cummins too.

3. Greg Chappell is not the answer. He has a terrible record as a selector and administrator (great cricketer...but) and I was very surprised to see his brother Ian defend him in Sunday's paper. Youth policy or craziness? He will claim credit, but mass hysteria is not the answer either. Renshaw, Wade, Lehmann, Maddinson, Dean, Patterson, Head...these blokes peel off 50's...there was a time you needed to peel off tons to make a Test team.

Graham Hick as batting coach? He is terrible. A selfish cricketer who was good on county featherbed decks.

That pink ball will seam around everywhere. If any of our bats crack 50 under lights it will be a miracle. Conversely, you watch Kohli bat and marvel at his skill. He is the world's best by a long way.

A worry seeing the South African cricket team defend their captain who has already been found guilty of ball tampering before. I remember another South African cricketer who was also captain who proved less than clean!

4. Steve Johnson at GWS has injured his thumb getting his phone out of a bag and needs surgery. What sort of phone was that?

5. Mal Meninga has some steel. His teams just do not seem to crumble and lose. We will see. A win here gives him life as the Aussie NRL coach.

6. Not so with The Springboks. As the South African cricket team's stocks rise, their rugby plummets. Awful losses to Japan and Italy may see them sign up some Sheffield Shield nuffies too. Hard to imagine their stocks have fallen so badly.

7. Speith's win of the Stonehaven Cup (great name) was impressive. Can deliver under pressure this lad. Hard to believe he is World No. 5. Hope he has not got too many world leaders' phone numbers on his phone. Greg Norman is a knob...fancy carrying on with that crap.

Wrap - Seven Eleven Test Cricket

1. Seven-Eleven Test Cricket. Two for 3? 4 for 8?

Smith did a courageous Kim Hughes to score over half the runs. But 85...what an embarrassment! We looked like a panicked team. Warner's loose shot was awful early for a bloke of his genius. Unwittingly, he played it on a day when the spineless indulgence of other team mates was on show. 'Carpet' Burns missed an awful one. Khawaja...typical lazy footwork. Voges is too old and now done. Lyon has become pedestrian and the addition of 'carpet' Burns and Ferguson did nothing. Mennie looked average it must be said - but what about Rod Farce...his prediction that he would bat better than a few proved true. Second top score.

Would anyone care - or notice - if the High Performance Manager Pat Howard got the bullet? James Sutherland is also an excuse maker who needs to go. Cash over performance is his go.

What about youth: Pat Cummins (get fit son! Only Eric Grothe Snr and Brett Papworth...and Jana Pittman have you covered for injuries), Kurtis Patterson (NSW), Travis Head (SA), Jake Lehmann (only International father and son coach-player combo ever?), Peter Hanscombe (VIC)...inject some long term prospects into the picture.

2. Cricket Sin Bin. When will we see the sin bin introduced in cricket for persistent whingers, whiners, those not acting in the spirit of the game or for dissent. It is overdue.

3. Tasmania. Can someone please tell me why we bother to play Test Cricket in Tasmania? They are low producers of quality players these days. Their pitch is awful. Weather is worse. It looks like a backwater (just like the NZ v Scotland league game in England)

4. South Africa. Philander is a cracker. He and Rabada are awesome! Add Steyn and no one comes close. Leaving Morkel out is a luxury no other team holds at present. What about the mental strength of this South African cricket team? With AB to come back in as well! That Quentin de Kock must also be a good fighter with a name like that. Can bat!

5. Scotland v NZ in league...18-18? Turn it up. A wet deck changes everything over in England. NZ should have been up for it and they have been a massive disappointment. Typical Warriors underachievement.

6. The A League needs a revamp. It is just not capturing the imagination yet this year. The quality is improving, but its profile is not. David Gallop did the same thing to a game called rugby league. No vision and dynamism.

7. Sydney FC. Powering along and undefeated. Nearly guaranteed a semi final spot now. Graham Arnold is a wily old bugger. Not much is ever missed. Some excellent recruits. On the other hand, the defence of Western Sydney Wanderers is appalling. They cannot win it with that lot and are anchored mid table now.

8. Wallabies v Scotland. A close thing, but who cares? Ireland and England will be tough. Two away wins in a row is a bit new. How you train all week and make basic errors week in and week out I'd never know...Thankfully South Africa are in more strife than us.

9. F1. Can Hamilton beat Rosberg in Brazil to keep the show alive? With any luck, based on the extraordinary hoodoos which have been overturned in 2016, Michael Schumacher may just recover as well. Here's hoping.

10. The return of a Brownlow? How ridiculous from the AFL. Let it go. No one else wants a Brownlow with an asterix handed out at a local RSL Club.

Wrap - Clown Town

1. Test Cricket. There are a few home truths from this Test disaster v South Africa in Perth:

a. Peter Siddle looks honest and is no doubt a lovely bloke, but words like "plodder", "boring", "no seam movement", "old", "tired" and "hopeless" spring to mind.

b. We consider ourselves as a cricket nation as the only ones who ever get dud umpiring decisions.

c. Steve Smith's first session of captaincy on Saturday was awful. Blokes saving fours...no attack. No spirit and spark. In fact Smith's footwork and batting is suffering as the team comes under heavy pressure.

d. Nathan Lyon could be finished. He will become a carpenter and turn doorknobs instead.

e. Peter Nevill's batting will see him ended. Handscombe is the heir apparent - or the bloke from WA (especially if Rod Farce is still a selector).

f. Starc better get wickets with the new ball, because he gets more erratic with each subsequent spell.

g. Warner. Remarkable and talented. The best thing he offers is a reminder to all the boring batting coaches in world cricket that attack beats defence. Barry Knight...Bill Madden...exit left and take the cobwebs with you.

h. Voges is on his last chance(s). His second innings failure may sound the death knell.

I. Mitchell Marsh. End it please. A double ton is his only hope. Unlikely.

j. Khawaja. A lot of talk and not much action. A lazy cricketer who is not big on 'team'. A better second innings effort after a near miss gossa.

k. What makes a run out single so bloody important? Maybe hang around and you can score plenty of other singles?

2. Australia v NZ Rugby League. Why does Mal rest Cronk? One of the most ridiculous selection decisions in recent memory. Disrespectful to the jersey in some respects. I wonder how Mal would have taken to being rested himself? Yet the Kangaroos still win with trademark toughness. Thurston too good. An intriguing structure where we could still miss out even though we have won two from two. Surely 'head to head' counts when teams are tied. Seemingly not. A wet deck will test us.

3. State of Origin - NRL Grand Final Location. I am going to be bold here and say that the State of Origin series winners should host the Grand Final in their state. That is a huge prize and would boost interest. You heard it here first. I also think that each team should have two "International" picks as well, who once they have played on that side, can never be selected on the other side of the border. Chances of this? Zero.

4. The Cubs. An amazing end to a tremendous week of World Series action. After 162 games, finals, playoffs and a 3-3 World Series decider...into the extra 10th innings...what a season! Some sort of show! The curse of the Billy Goat is over...waiting since 1908 has ended...long may goats harvest on Wrigley Field. A tremendous fairytale with a string of away victories. A famous, famous victory!!!

5. Cheika. Is the arm in a sling evidence he was a clown after all? Or just bad timing? Could not have been worse. Why worry about the press? You look a clown reacting to it all. Memo to Michael: The press is never going to be favourable in NZ. A great win v Wales. Is it just me or do they not function in daylight over there? Why is every game at night? Have the Wallabiues ever looked so good over there?

6. All Blacks. Their loss to Ireland continues this amazing hoodoo breaking year of 2016! Maybe the arrogance has caught up with them...momentarily?

7. Tasmanian Cricket. It has reached rock bottom. George Bailey is finished too. They have been awful this year - and last year.

8. Andy Murray. The latest (and oldest ever) World No. 1. A brat as champ sadly. Novak's decline has been incredible. From unbeatable to being rolled. There is an untold story here...drugs? depression? women problems?

Wrap - Iron Brain

1. Rod Marsh has officially lost the plot. He has signalled his exit as a selector and it cannot come soon enough. They specialise in getting daft fools in that role... Hilditch... Invers... Marsh. Fancy saying that Joe Mennie is in the Test team because he bats better than others - and Jackson Bird misses out. Rod Marsh would have dropped Glen McGrath on that score. Known as "iron gloves" early on in his career, Rod Marsh is now known as "iron brain".

You'd be filthy if you were Joe 'Carpet' Burns too. Had two bad tests in Sri Lanka on a bunsen bruner and is now banished for Rod Marsh's Western Australian connection with the other Marsh family - Shaun and Mitchell. The tell me Shaun Marsh has been in and out of the Australian team EIGHT times. Dale Steyn must be salivating!

Mitchell Marsh has to be the new Shane Watson. Lots of promise - no results. Please don't even think...don't even think...of replacing him with Moises Henriques. Travis Head is a better cricketer than both of them.

2, I'm getting sick of Michael Clarke as well. He is now telling people to "move on" about the Katich issue and others. Hello Michael? hello? This is your new book sunshine...you are trying to make more money, yet again. We are over you. We are more over you now we know Channel 9 have you on their commentary team.

3. The 'tell all' cricket book...please. Johnson...even Brad Hogg....same manager perhaps? Even Mark Nicholas is writing one - an absolute bore. Max Walker was the doyen.

But why is Lehmann writing a book? Career over? Great news that he now thinks he shouldn't have selected certain blokes for an Ashes tour...who else has he got in that frame now? He needs to start winning. Lehmann has been listening to Rod Marsh and compromising himself by not choosing to coach this tour but not that tour...get your act together Darren. Ricky Ponting looms large.

4. Love an England rugby league test in slippery conditions. New Zealand relish that too. They will be hard to toss there. We have a strong chance, but will need to be up for the grind. Wayne Bennett is starting to annoy lots of people too.

5. Jose Mourinho. The nuts on the cart are loosening. The wheels are coming off. ManU are stalling on 15 points and the patience of owners and fans is being tested. Tevez is being sought...!

6. The Cubs. Sitting at 1-3 down after two losses at home (!), they are under the pump. The curse of the billy goat needs to be ended but there is that North Sydney Bears feeling about them. They can find a way to lose. They are staring down the barrel.

Wrap - Reverse The Curse!

1. What is it with past Australian sports stars? (think Hackett, et al...Jana Drama...any number of footballers and league players...). To be arrested and detained in Japan requires some special hard work in being a dingbat. The people there are outstanding - quiet, respectful and placid. Wayne Gardner should ring Robert Allenby for some media tips. He handled his ongoing brand destruction appallingly.

2. I noticed that India (..red carpets please and oversized cheques for everyone at the ready servants) are considering the use of DRS technology. Please. Who gave them the right to defy world cricket for so long? Dohni should retire. Thank goodness Kohli (he who is hated universally) can be a little future focused.

3. Pat Cummins looked quick on TV in his comeback (yes...footage came via the rabbit ears antennas via Africa of the Matador Cup). By the way, the marketing team there at Matador must have some coin to waste. A good win by NSW. The great MOOOIIISESZ Henriques scored plenty.

4. A-League. It fills a big void of action at this time of year. Like the intensity and some solid crowds. Where is the wife's best friend - the Big Bash?

5. Wallabies. All week we heard how the hoodoo will be broken, how we will bounce back...past champions...old photos of the slim Allan Jones (success can make you fat)...and what do we get? BLOT. Hopeless joke of a referee. All these debutants just kids playing against men. Witches hats really for the NZers to run around, over and through. They do a North QLD in the last 15 minutes this mob. They pile on the points!

Chieka is kidding isn't he? He is fast losing the plot. Fancy worrying about what New Zealand newspapers do and say. They are crazy fans and manic exaggerators who love to win. 'Don't personalise it or it will break you' was the best advice he received. He behaved like a clown indeed.

6. You may have missed it but the Cleveland Indians (smashed the Bluejays) are into the World Series v the Chicago Cubs who won v the LA Dodgers today. Can the Cubs do it - or will the curse of the Billy Goat continue to plague the Cubs who have not been into the World Series since 1945? This is a major story for the Cubs and Chicago. A huge week ahead.

Youtube "Steve Bartman Baseball Fan" at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq8G81oOHhY for one of the most wild stories on a bloke who helped perpetuate the curse. He is still hunted and in hiding in Chicago today!

The Cleveland Indians are looking to shower further glory on the Cleveland people after the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA championship this year. However forget a super rare three-peat...the poor old Cleveland Browns (NFL) are limping along at 0-6. They are gone.

7. Loving the EPL as always. Bumped into "Chelsea TV" the other night on Fox. It fair dinkum looks like they are filming a colour comp game from Parramatta Park! Amateurish. Fox need to negotiate heavily with Optus and get a share of the action.

8. Looking forward to seeing England function in rugby league under Wayne Bennett. If it starts to rain or snow, they could dominate.

9. Winx. Awesome and amazing!

Wrap - Hoodoo Breakers

1. Phil Hughes. Why are players being cross examined about comments on the field? This cannot be useful to anything other than a negligence suit against Cricket Australia. Comments did not kill. An unsafe workplace? I suspect the batting helmet manufacturers should have been called. Sure, sledging needs to be addressed - by umpires who should be able to 'bin' players at First Class level. This will stop it. However, I get the feeling that the lack of resolution is driving a hate campaign against a few of them. What will it achieve? I must say what I have said time and time again - Cricket Australia will have a hefty legal bill if a kid or adult is hurt now as they play games protecting their procurement policy on helmet design. Improve the bloody things and lead the way worldwide.

2. Australia v NZ. There is something awesome about Test rugby league being played in front of a big crowd - in daylight - with one ref. Sure, a few errors and dodgy calls, but authentic league.

3. Very troubled to see a player without tattoos and wearing black boots. Should be banned.

4. Australian Cricket. This summer could be an absolute watershed in the game's short term future in Australia. We have been belted 3-0 by Sri Lanka and 5-0 by Sth Africa and still we wheel out excuses. Bottom line? We were arrogant and terrible! Warner the only star. Big Bash and the Matador Cup need to be listed as distinct selection trials. The time is ideal if you are coming through the ranks.

Is there a more injured sportsman than the VIC quick bowler, James Pattinson. Tha answer? Yes - Pat Cummins. Then Couter-Nile...Starc...

5. Tim Cahill. Some sort of goal from 35m out. Lazy goalkeepers who have not played the world's best before take note. Give 'em an inch....

6. Sydney FC on fire with 8-0 to start the year. How about lowly Newcastle knocking over the Brisbane Roar 4-0? Incredible. 

7. Interesting to see Las Vegas firming as the new home for one of the most travelled of NFL football teams - the LA Raiders. Could actually bring a bit of spirit to Vegas after many years of nothing but money obsession.

8. Major League baseball. The team left: Cleveland Indians v Toronto Blue Jays (2-0 Indians up - best of 7 games). LA Dodgers v Chicago Cubs (1-0 Cubs up- best of 7 games) The Curse of the Billy Goat has haunted The Chicago Cubs. They are poised to break it...or are they? 108 years of grief?

Please read the following to brush up with history:

The Curse of the Billy Goat is a sports-related curse that was supposedly placed on the Chicago Cubs Major League Baseball (MLB) franchise in 1945 when Billy Goat Tavern owner Billy Sianis was asked to leave game 4 of the World Series against the Detroit Tigers at the Cubs' home ballpark of Wrigley Field because the odor of his pet goat (named Murphy) was bothering other fans.^[1][2] He was outraged and allegedly declared "Them Cubs, they ain't gonna win no more," which has been interpreted to mean that there would never be another World Series game won at Wrigley Field. The Cubs have not won a World Series championship since 1908 or played in the World Series since 1945.

9. A big year for underdogs and hoodoos:

Cleveland Cavaliers NBA winners after 46 years

Cronulla Sharks NRL winners after 49 years

Western Bulldogs AFL winners after 62 years

Leicester EPL winners after 132 years

10. I cannot believe Sam Mitchell was given the Trade punt from Hawthorn this week. The fabric is fraying. This should be what Sydney do to Keiran Jack soon.

Wrap - Tattoo and The Boss

1. The Matador Cup has arrived and even Moises Henriques is getting runs. What a farce that competition is...especially when the Australians have played so lamely abroad. Aaron Finch has been awful. Smith never seems to get ODI runs when it counts. I dare to think what sort of crowds they will get this summer. The game is in a tailspin at present. We are staring at a 5-0 whitewash. The bowling group is ridiculously poor. How many of this crew are injured - Joel Paris, Pattinson, Cummins (?)...on it goes.

Peter Nevill needs to start scoring runs or Wade will jump ahead of him. There needs to be changes.

2. Mount Panarama. Reminds me of what Austen Tayshus said about Mt Isa.

3. Soccer. Is it now too greedy worldwide? TV coverage of Australian Socceroo games is non-existent now. Surely we are not that popular? No EPL coverage unless through Optus? I thought Optus had collapsed in a heap like their pre match NRL Grand Final inflatable TV all those years ago. How Fox ever let that slip away no one will ever know.

4. NRL. Quiet as, but how many players will be charged with misdemeanours this summer? The Wrap scoreboard stands at 0 after week one. However I noticed Todd Carney is back in town.

5. AFL. What gives with the AFL trade and drafts? Totally ridiculous. Hawthorn are about to become unbeatable again with their trades. How does a salary cap work down there? Sydney have had a rails run and GWS of course. When does fairness enter the frame? Is the model out of synch with reality?

6. ManU. There could be a sudden end to Mourinho's career soon. A surly whiner is what becomes of him when his team is struggling for wins - as they are at present. He loses the dressing room quicker than most. He needs to become more animated courtside and start getting excited for his players and show his fans he cares.

7. The Phil Hughes (RIP) Hearing. Doug Bollinger has abandoned the rug. He has taken up the Crusher Cleal beard instead. A bit harsh to land him with accusations that he threatened to kill Hughes. All bowlers say this to batsmen. Would appreciate Cricket Australia doing something to change helmet design for young kids instead of hiding behind phantom excuses and 'contracts'. A huge law case awaits there.

8. Can anyone seriously believe that Parramatta are about to sign Kirisome Auva’a from Souths, released for ill discipline and domestic violence related issues?...Join the dots...please. Is the caretaker management a pack of morons too? How many jailbirds and dropkicks can one club have?

By the way, I bumped into Corey Norman this weekend on the Gold Coast at the casino. Told him that he was due to lead Parramatta to a premiership. Remarkably, he was behaving himself. Also told him I was the new full time club tatooist signed for $200K to try and recoup contract money from players with a new in-house incentive arrangement. Upstairs next to the dodgy Chinese joint. Thinking of branching out with a Jim's NRL Tattoo Removal franchise.

Wrap - GF Special

1. Swans. Totally lacked pace in the centre and their inability to take contested marks right across the second half was terrible. Buddy was ordinary. Why he didn't announce himself by shooting the first goal of the game instead of a failed kick to the centre was anyone's guess. Pressure has found him out sometimes. This time of year last year was an unhappy time for him. Rohan needed to step up but didn't. McGlynn was invisible. Mills error prone.

The Umpiring was appalling. The bias was insulting. Keep Victoria safe as the AFL home was clearly the edict. I think the game needs to publicly address this.

The pace and handballing from the Western Bulldogs cut the Swans to ribbons. Rampe and Grundy kept the Swans in it. The Swans had nothing up front. Boyd and the Headbanded alphabet were dynamic in the air. A great game, only missing a live cross to Gary and Mrs Crankypants Jack's house. Just quietly I think Bruce also stole Dennis Commeti's thunder at the end. He needed to back off a bit for mine and honour his mate.

2. Man Mundine continues to confirm that he is the absolute master of idiotic comments by dopey sportsmen worldwide. Boycott the anthem? Wake up. Anthony needs to follow the example of Warren Mundine and think solutions not activism.

3. Cronulla. Monumental games from Barba, Maloney and Fifita largely went unrecognised. Ennis and Prior too. Lewis? Steady, but not in the league of the others on the night. Runs great lines as a backrower and should have kept the arm up for that near miss try. The Sharks dug deep. That last minute or so was enthralling! It could have gone either way. Great game. Better result.

4. Not real impressed with the number of Sharks fans at the post GF fan day. $12,000? It needed to be stage managed more professionally, but as premiers you can do whatever you like! It will take some kind of miracle to keep that team together...Ennis is gone....hard to replace!

What about Bellamy? In charge of the Storm for 14 seasons. He has had a finals appearance every year - except when they lost all points and came last. Six Grand Finals (3 wins - 2 stripped). 5 Minor Premierships. Nine top four finishes. Amazing.

5. Pre game entertainment at Grand Finals. How can this be so consistently bad? Keith Urban looks like a lovely fellow but we'd really rather hear Nicole Kidman sing. Sting was awful. Sambora was hopeless - so was hat girl. What is doing? Jimmy Barnes was exceptional last year...Rolling out Tina Turner's 'Simply The Best' is stretching things a bit too much.

It was intriguing to see a few innovations at the NRL GF to try and catch up with the AFL. Premiership rings (how ugly are they!?) handed over by young kids (from where?). The pre game team handshake was interesting. As was coverage of Todd Greenberg giving hugs to certain players. David Gallop would not have gotten or given that! The victor's dias in front of their crowd (like when the Bunnies won) gives an excellent backdrop and some streamers made a comeback as well...even if theyr got stuck on the high wires. The Clive Churchill announcement was botched! Too soon...no build up...no explanation of how this is decided.

6. Australian Cricket. Can anyone explain how Boland, Mennie and Worrall are our leading bowlers? They are terrible!! Sth Africa smacked us twice. Really smacked us. We are an embarrassment. An arrogant one at that. Imagine the whinging if South Africa sent that quality of bowler out here. Why are these nonsense tournaments important?

7. Daniel Ricciardo. Great win in the Malaysian GP. The shooey...what the hell?

8. A League. The timing of the start of their season is very well done. They know their place in the Australian sporting landscape.

9. Ryder Cup. USA dominated. Good to see Rory getting fired up! Did you see the Danny Willett response to the journo's question "How would you describe your first Ryder Cup experience?". His answer: "Shit". Fair enough.

10. MLB Finals: American League - Boston Redsox, Cleveland Indians, Texas Rangers. Wildcard game: Baltimore Orioles v Toronto Bluejays. National League - Chicago Cubs, LA Dodgers, Washington Nationals, Wildcard game: NY Mets v San Fran Giants.

Plenty of big games ahead. The Cubs may actually shake the curse of the goat at long last!

11. When did the BIG cardboard face of the player become popular in the NRL crowd!? One for the Indian cricket crowd to work on. They have absolutely dominated New Zealand. The turning Indian decks are something else.

12. Wobblies. Did they play?

Wrap - Storming

Boys,

I take you back to Keith's words (possibly some of the few sensible ones!) from 20 March 2016:

"Forget the swans this year - rely on too few. Watch the Western Bulldogs rise and will win 3 consecutive flags from 2017. Remember where heard it first. TGT"

In other breaking news, the great Fugeearma will be sitting next to me at ANZ Stadium as a bloke who was born the year Cronulla came into the comp and who has ridden every disaster since. He is the luckiest bloke we know, so you never know..."Up, up Cronulla...".

*************************

1. Melbourne Storm. Amazing resilience. Amazing patterns and two amazing warhorses in Smith and Cronk. Also an amazingly boring team. Melbourne don't know how good they have it. Most clubs never unearth a hero of 300 games+ - let alone two at once. Barring injuries, Slater would be up there too. Their ruck control irritates every rugby league fan who are over the Melbourne 50:50 calls - which generally lean to 75:25. They are the masters of convincing the refs. The officialdom are under tremendous pressure this week.

2. On refs, their role will be critical. The sinbining of Wighton was your typical hot headed, dumb arse response by a referee under pressure. Doubt that goose will be near a GF. Cool heads and non-existent profile is best. Penalties are the biggest issue in the game. This softness and readiness to blow a "relieving" penalty in an attacking team's own 22 is out of control. So too are the useless get square penalties when the game is cooked. The referreeing is worse than ever. Go back to one ref...please. Two refs doubles the pain.

As I mentioned last week...Cronulla will never have a better chance to win. Their discipline v Cowboys was impressive. This is what it will take again. They will need to be creative in attack and offload - otherwise they don't win. An injury to a key Melbourne player would swing the game. Every try by Canberra was out wide. Please note!

3. The grat (ing) Jarryd Hayne...his signing has cost another Gold Coast scalp. First Mead now Hoffman. Is he worth it? I think Parramatta got this one correct.

On Parramatta, how could Foran possibly be right to play leagiue with the Warriors. Funny mentality that of an out of control gambler. They don't care who they burn. They lose all self-awareness. Who the hell is Eddie Hayson? Was he a former player? official? club stalwart?...who is he?

4. Ravi Ashwin. He has become the second fastest bowler ever to reach 200 Test wickets (after the great Clarrie Grimmet). Pretty impressive stuff. He should be thanking the Indian curators. He will make mince meat of our bats when we next visit.

5. The Swans completed one of the best victories you could ever hope for. Under pressure, a shorter turn around and a dynamic start. They will need to be sharp. The Western Bulldogs are coming together in an impressive run to the finals: West Coast-Hawthorn-GWS..three big scalps for a lower semi final marker. The bigger MCG ground will test both clubs. Pace is king on that ground...so is tackling.

I could not believe the softness and poor options that GWS took in the last five or ten minutes on Saturday night. Incredibly dumb and inexperienced (as predicted). The loss of Stevie Johnson to his nemisis - poor discipline - cost them dearly. Just when they needed him...he lets them down. This is why he was punted from Geelong. The lack of effective tackling by a panicking GWS was also to blame. Like that Western Bulldogs coach. Calm and composed under fire.

6. Man City. They are powering away. It could be too late for quite a few teams if they don't watch it. Poor loss by Chelsea on the weekend to Arsenal. Liking Liverpool. manU back, but still shaky. Leicester- gooooone!

7. Does anyone know why we play PNG in league at this time of the year?

8. A reality check for elite sportsmen who play around with big toys...Jose Fernandez the star Miami Marlins pitcher...dead in a boat accident overnight. Sad news.

Wrap - All Black Whack

1. You must hand it to the Raiders and - as much as everyone doesn't like to admit it - Ricky Stuart. Their effort so far in 2016 for an unheralded bunch has been stunning. However it is all set to end with Melbourne. The NRL are about to gift Melbourne the comp with yet another home final. I recall when both these games were played at the ANZ Olympic Stadium. If the Raiders can get away from Gerard Sutton not officiating...maybe Jarrod (Tim The Toolman) Maxwell...they may be a chance. However the wrestle that has allowed QLD and Melbourne to dominate is set to continue unabated.

2. The Cowboys v Broncos was some sort of game. The Cowboys did it tough and proud. Thurston is the best player we have seen week in week out. However a lot of folk think they will struggle next Friday night...and probably will. The Sharks need to stop the excuses and rise up. They will never get a better chance to win a comp! And why is it not at Shark Park again? That is a joke...and a fund raising venture by the NRL.

Get both games at a neutral venue?

3. GWS v Western Bulldogs. The week off will hurt GWS I suspect...and the inexperienced nerves. If it is a dry track they win. Wet? They struggle. A very early forecast says they will get a dry track. Can't believe they are playing it at Spotless. Think bigger boys!

Hawthorn probably put in the worst display by a semi final team across the weekend in all codes.

4. Swans. They will struggle - especially in Geelong, despite them having a pretty good record down there. Buddy was a lot better on Friday and the Crows were disappointing really. Toughness of Parker and Hannebery was awesome. Keiran Jack needs to lift. He has been quiet and off his game since his parents made idiots of themselves.

5. Mo Matthews. The human headline. Not besties with Dean Jones (who is?), but a stupid thing to say that his double ton in India was on a road and no big deal. He must have been asleep. That or upset he wasn't getting the adulation for the spin bowling he dished up there.

6. Leicester. Dragging their knuckles now after last year's unbelievable story. They need to get their act together. What price relegation?

7. Wallabies. Do get excited beating the Pumas? maybe only when you have been going as poorly as they have. Conversely, the All Blacks have been masterful...again...and again.

8. Davis Cup. Was it a bigger achievement to win - or to get Kgyrios on the court with Tomic? Slovakia were hardly a world threat to be honest.

Wrap - The Clap

1.     Panthers. They really played a great brand of footy, but the Berries let them. Some interesting tactics that define the future of the game always seem to emerge in semi finals: Running on the last tackle for Penrith multiple times to tire the big forwards who love a stop start (actually…no penalties for Panthers and super quick play the balls were a feature). Give up a penalty in a final = the hook! 

Offloads are the key to your future as a forward in the NRL. For example, Canterbury (Eastwood, Kasiano, Klemmer, Williams) and Penrith (Cartwright, Merren, Latimore). No offload ability = no future. Great to see Mansour do well…Captain Risky lookalike.

2. The Bulldogs looked nervous. An angry coach like Hasler at half time does nothing for you in finals. Composure is crucial. It is funny how often the cranky coach tactic does not work.

One thing about Grand Finals and semis…things will always go wrong and it will seem as though things are really against you…then it will turn. Stay composed and calm…Look at Moylan. Three handling errors in about ten minutes…then a return to excellence, starring in the drive home.

3. Surely the short kick off has a good future. The athleticism of the current player would make it very likely your team will get the ball back. That or the hard low grubber kick off that goes out the sideline. Time to change it up in this area of the game. If you can hold your defence till half time, fatigue time will see massive opportunities later. This is new thinking in the modern game.

4. Jarrod Maxwell is the best ref we have. Gerard Sutton needs to be left on Fort Denistone next weekend. This will upset Melbourne who get a lot of 50-50 calls with him.

5. Hayne – David Mead has now left the Titans club…Brad Arthur’s theory is correct. No player is bigger than the club. Hard to defend on your own. The salary sombrero can only fit Jarryd and not many more.

6. If you were a progressive Chief Executive wouldn’t you ban Mad Monday? Where did that crap come from? If only their effort here was matched by their effort on the field in the season…! There is a fair bit of planning there…too much! Some of those Parra players are a disgrace...still. A hard team to like or support.

7. Maxwell. Diamonds and rocks. Plenty of diamonds last week. Our nation is leading the world in the shift of world cricket. ODI and T20 dominate and not many players care about Test Cricket.

8. The GWS juggernaut has arrived. They were so quick v Swans. Quick on the break and so fit! The hard afternoon deck really helped them too. They will struggle a bit more at night I suspect. However, what depth and on a big field they carved up the Swans. The Swans on a smaller SCG might recover. Tippett is playing for his future – or if he misses the game, he may be done. He has struggled badly. Buddy needs to spring back to life. He was too quiet. Adelaide will not be easy. They can play.

The bye weekend killed the West Coast and did not help Sydney.

9. I still like the Hawks I must say. That last kick miss was terrible. Arrogant and smug - and stil lterrible. Geelong were good. GWS will struggle to repeat their effort.

10. Wallabies. A sound win, but they will take each one. Not sure how many people bothered to watch it. Interested to hear that at the Randwick rugby club, they approach South Sydney NRL to take all those players cut and keep them playing (with possible retrieval by the NRL team if need be). This helps the NRL club and the rugby club. Maybe Penrith rugby might have hope with this model.

11. Tennis. Serena seems like she may have hit the wall in her quest for more Grand Slam titles. Age is catching her…Kerber is dominating. Djokovic had an absolute rails run (three walkovers) to the final v Stan the Man. However, unless Stan loses it mentally, he will struggle on that surface.

12. Loved the Viking clap! I think there is a medication for it. Great coordination and solidarity. Didn’t help though…

13. Not sure what Robbie Farah will do this week? Maybe he will parachute into the Grand Final or sing at half time? He is now on $1.2 million a year from what we read. No tears there. Have another beer on the scoreboard? Joke. Would not be real keen seeing my "star" recruit up there with no net.

Wrap - An Investigation Into This

1. Manly. Trent Barrett has been the dud coach of the year. A million stories...a million pre season promises. Bozo has again come up empty - like Origin for the last ten years. "There's going to need to be an investigation into this. Somebody has to be accountable for this". Bring back Geoff!

2. Robbie Farah. We have all enough of the sympathy stories and media rubbish. Go to a new club and give us all a break Robbie...for everyone's sake. Thank God he's gone! He won't be out of pocket. Business.

3. Gerard Sutton is clearly either hopeless or stupid. He blows penalties when there is no real reason (maybe Gerard gets tired?) and catches up the other team in the last ten minutes. He sucks up excessively to players too. Totally bewitched by Cameron Smith. Good luck with him in Melbourne.

4. Henry Perenara did the unbelievable on the weekend...blew a marginal penalty at 26-26 in the last minute in the Newcastle v St George game 30 metres out, right in front. Pathetic. 28-26 to the Dragons from a penalty goal. He should start the year in the Dickhead Cup. Nathan Brown's silence was pretty impressive.

5. If you want to pass an examination - school, university, work -  get the NRL concussion testers involved. They'll get you through any test, any time. No sweat.

6. AFL. How you decide to have a whole week off and lose momentum for the comp is staggering. The game needs to step up here and stop pandering to the idiot minority. A glitch in a glittering season.

7. US Open. Nadal and Djokovic. Wrist injuries show how hard they go. Murray is looming as world number one. Serena may take second place this week from Steffi Graf with 23 Grand Slams too. 

8. Is there anything more boring than a sportsman or woman who is injured? Sympathy yes...interest, no. Plenty of time to get it right. Nick Kygrios...ho hum. have we not got any intense, hard working Chinese-Australian tennis players graduating yet? Surely we will have a few soon!

9. Semi Radradra taking the last kick for goal v Warriors? He is exiting from Parra I suppose... Warriors have done what they did last year - lost their last five or six in a row! Horrible.

Wrap - Dutch Dud

1. Coach of the Year? Is it Bellamy again - or is it Jason Taylor? For the first year in a long while, the wholesale sacking of NRL coaches has not occurred. For the Tigers to still be in contention is a minor miracle. Henry at the Titans has done well. Is it true that when Farah has not played they have won 90%?

The Sharks as minor premiers will be a good achievement. Once again, Cameron Smith and Cooper Cronk - absolutely non-combustible. Never injured. They hold the team together and make it formidable. Surely the Broncos and Storm are the premiers...or will the Sharks defy the silliness of Fifita and actually win their first? They need more speed men involved.

2. AFL. What about Hawthorn? Whenever they are on the line...they deliver. The fifth 'less than six point' wins this year by beating a surprisingly resilient Collingwood. The last round effort of Melbourne (terrible 100 point loss to Geelong), Richmond (horrible 100 point loss to Swans)   Tanking of lesser teams? The Western Bulldogs' loss to Freo was awful. Ross Lyon may be on the nose over in Freo with talk of Fyfe moving on...surely not.

The AFL season starts after the NRL and then ends wit ha week's break before the finals...player welfare or not enough footy? Swans v GWS at 3.20pm on sat 10 September...a cracker!

3. Wallabies. Talk of knifing Chieka is becoming deafening. He is exposed by using a number of blokes past their use by date...Cooper is number 1. Has he ever played well for the Wallabies? Gee it is a struggle to remember it, if he has.

4 .Steve Smith. Hard to think an Aussie skipper needs a rest. Here's an idea...don't play ODI cricket at all. Just captain test cricket. And Warner does not need a rest? You will recall he had a brilliant EPL series this year and has played in all games everywhere bar a finger injury.

How Zampa was not selected ahead of Jon 'Doorknobs' Holland is unbelievable. The Dutch Dud. Zampa is a wicket taker and will win games for Australia in time. Holland is a statistic.

5. How predictable these days is a Mitchell Starc 'bowled' or 'LBW' of an opposing opening batsman in ODI cricket?

6. EPL. Chelsea, Man City and ManU look to have returned to dominance for season 2016-2017.

7. I noticed Parramatta have started signing blokes again - the impressive Vave from Manly for starters. Wicks and Edwards have joined Norman in contract extensions. A halfback? That Aiden Sezar who left the Titans for the Raiders this year has been a great signing. Parra need a sensible pick up at a reasonable price like that - NOT Adam Reynolds. Jeff Robson? Cheap but too slow. A bit like young Daniel Mortimer.

8. It must be said that outside of  Andy Murray, is there a greater "bridesmaid" in world sport than Daniel Ricciardo? Before the GP officianados get upset...maybe Mark Webber was a bigger one.

Wrap - Triple Triples

1. The Olympics never seems to go long enough. Once you establish your time zone routine, it gets rhythmic! Some tremendous middle distance work from our runners and we seemed to be more alive and focused there than we were in the pool. What about the shenanighans of the swimmers and the rubbish pedalled about McKeown going off with Swedish swimmers...half cut no doubt.

Ms Chiller (who looks far from chilled) has the worst job in the world, keeping all those randy, non-drinking binge loving drama queens and kings in line. Throw them all in the cess pit of the Olympic village and lock the key. Gee they must annoy the athletes who have not completed their events as yet.

2. I am impressed with the storytelling and fables being created by athletes and team officials (accreditation disgrace) and by key individuals about hold ups and thefts. The Brazillians must regret ever putting their hands up. Why is a third world Policeman so often a less emotional, non understanding beast. I'd be counting up that cash with the fines imposed. Could be a big drink post Olympics I suspect.

3. Great moments: Bolt triple triple; Mo Farah double double; Brazil's soccer win; our pentathlete; the track events and relays are exciting; the cycling and rowing are good to see too. Our star?

Our dud? Jenneke...men's and women's hockey...women's soccer...Rugby 7's were terrible too.

4. Wallabies. I must say that was the weakest performance by a Wallaby team for some time...maybe since we played England a few months back. They were soft and disinterested. lacking leadership. Chieka is on notice now. He had a dream run. God knows how he even starts to address it. It was a diabolical disgrace. So many empty seats up high in the stadium and so many more ahead. That game is in trouble.

5. Australian Cricket. barely any better. Outside of Starc, Smith and Warner, I don't think any of them are safe. We could be seeing an absolute broom through that lot soon. Hazelwood for mine - and Nevill - were the most disappointing two. Voges hopeless...

6. Rugby League Top 8. Almost decided. Roosters looked like semi finalists today. Canberra still look shaky for mine.

7. AFL. Swans well placed...still think Adelaide have more running in them than most others. Hawthorn shaky at present but know how to do it.

Wrap - Olympic Pet Hates

1. Michael Phelps. Once upon a time we thought Spitz was a legend winning six gold medals! When you crack 25+ you are an absolute phenomenon. However, a disappointing exit from the pool deck. Phelps was worthy of being chaired around the pool by all his competitors. We will never see this record broken in our lifetime. We thought Thorpe was good! This bloke is the best ever in any Olympic sport. Some mantle. Hopefully he stays well adjusted and does not resort to domestic violence and nipple cripples.

2. Unfortunately Channel 7 have been a total disgrace with their coverage. Outside of Bruce McIvaney, they struggled. Great to see Graham Manou is still hitting the ING signs in life. He did it twice. Although I definitely learned a lot from Russell Mark at the shooting this morning. He was very good. This bluff and crap approach to finals and replays of events already completed is amazing. The stunning 10,000m win by the great Mo, was squeezed in between the long jump which no one really cares about. No idea.

2. How hard is it to win a NRL comp? At this time of year you can see how much teams are struggling with injuries and pain. The Cowboys have hit the wall. The Sharks have struggled without Gallen (doesn't Fifita know how to give away a penalty?). The Broncos are back (v Parramatta, but who wouldn't be!)...it is becoming very interesting. The Storm are superb. How they can be so consistent over so long is beyond me - all with Billy Slater out of the team. The other stunning thing is Cameron Smith never misses a game - no injuries, pain or whinging. He is their lynchpin.

3. Jarryd Hayne may just be headed to the semis with the Titans. Great field goal. Neil Henry has done an amazing job. He did an amazing job at that niteclub in Melbourne with us that night at that dodgy casino bar they shut down a few years back too.

4. What is it about Rugby 7's...easy come easy go? No real care and concern if you lose seemingly. The women did wonderfully well. The blokes sounded like they did better in the post tournament drinkathon. F1J1 impressive.

5. Cricket - Starc dominant. Lyon solid, but ...Holland? If you can't get wickets there in Sri Lanka, you'll never get them. To have them 5/25 and now out for a million....please. No spirit or stick sadly.

Pakistan well placed v England and only need 6 wickets to draw the series. Having said that if England get a small lead, Anderson and Broad will serve it up to them! That man Moeen Ali struck yet another ton. Surely it is time for Ian Bell to return. Their middle order is woeful. Meanwhile everything bad about West Indian cricket was on show in India's cakewalk.

6. Gee I like these Campbell swimming sisters. Cate says she has 'choked' and half an hour later she goes into the 4 x 100m relay and leads Australia to silver when she got in the pool at sixth place. Brilliant. They will be back. Less media and more social media by all reports.

7. AFL. Their season is escalating with brutal intensity and fitness across a long season. The contests and fitness is amazing. So many teams are lifting their tackling and scrambling now. The game has risen to a new level over many more clubs.

8. An Olympic World Record on the track by 15 seconds (!) is an intriguing worry. A superb piece of freak form that blasts everyone off the course?...Or yet another medal presentation at the next Olympics or at the local RSL Club with an apology and a disgraced media conference?

9. Always intrigued by why our more war torn countries don't do better in the Olympic shooting....go figure.

10. Another pet hate is "Great Britain". Why do they compete as a conglomerate and not England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales...? Sounds contrived to me.

11. Some big name retirements in the USA MLB (Major League Baseball) over the weekend - Alex Rodriguez, Mark Texiera and Prince Fielder. They go on the Major league pension now. How does that work?

• MLB players must play 43 days in the majors to earn a minimum $34,000 annual pension plan.  Just one day in the majors gets them lifetime healthcare coverage.  After 10 years in the big leagues, benefits grow to $100,000 annually.

12. Really bad start by Leicester. They only lost three games last year. Hull will not be one of the best by season's end.

Wrap - Brought To Heal

1. Jarryd Hayne. Surely the days of having one expensive recruit - whose arms, knees and hamstrings are as vulnerable as the next bloke's - cannot win you a comp. The Gold Coast has a startling way of converting talent into dust...in all sports. To offload a million good earnest players for one prancing stallion is not sensible. Jarryd will do some good things. He is quality, but gee the Gold Coast has a temporary sniff about it for him. He will take up boxing or checkers soon.

2. Cricket. Our inability to play grinding cricket was always going to show at some stage. Smith has lived on a fairytale for some time now. Can you imagine us in the Ashes in England? Anderson and Broad will make mince meat of this lot.

A series loss to the Lankans is a humiliation. We are soft and we are excuse makers. The talent in Australia is not in test cricket. Joe Burns has been found out (of course) and the flat track experts with the bat have been exposed too. What is Voges' average now? He needs to lift. Herath seemed to be bowling hand grenades. Starc is our only shining light. How long will he last? He has proven to have a very dubious fitness level. How can you pick Jon Holland as our next best spinner? Please....Zampa? Agar?...

Rod Marsh is still hanging around long after his expiry date. Lehmann needs to watch out too. Langer will jump in there with half a chance. Bayliss might also like to come home...

3. Olympics. Talking of whinging...that Chef de Mission for Australia. Chiller? She has already won the gold medal for that. Very soon she will be telling us it was - of course - the best games ever...ever since the last ones.The local crims have never been so busy. Was Rio going to be anything but a challenge with crime, lower standards of living, infrastructure, etc? The Olympics are well known for their ability to fry a nation's resources.

How good are those Campbell sisters, Cate and Bronte? Quick. Possibly a lap quicker than Dawn Fraser now. Loved the Mack drug cheat sledge. I think we are all tiring of the glory victory on the dias with the Olympic Gold medal surrendered at a meek ceremony a couple of years later. Swimming and Athletics are the home of the fraudsters and pure cheats.

4. Why does Andrew Bogut annoy people so much?

5. Hawthorn. They are the most remarkable team. There is probably no other team in Australia at present (outside the Cowboys and Storm...Cronulla?) who know how to win in all kinds of conditions and circumstances. A fourth consecutive flag will take some doing. They will take some beating. Even if Melbourne knocked them over!

6. Roston Chase. Who? This West Indian all rounder had a superb game v India (top notch opponent) in tests getting five wickets on debut and then a 137no to stave off defeat. Now there s someone who that country - our country ? - needs! Steel and hunger.

7. You can put money on a Foran comeback. However, this obsession our media has with stating under all articles about salary cap rorting and match fixing "we are not suggesting any of the players mentioned or photographed here are involved" is wearing mightily thin. Players know more than we are being told. They need to be brought to heel.

Wrap - The Rant

1. Serena Williams. An awesome, awesome athlete...whatever anyone thinks of the rest of her. Her levelling of Grand Slam wins with Steffi Graf is something else, especially given she has lost the part two Grand Slam finals. She will go down as the greatest ever...and is also in the doubles final. Incredible.

2. Parramatta. The joke is never ending. Semi...Foran...Corey Norman in the clink? Stay tuned...Brad Arthur will leave next. Total disgrace. And making matters worse is the Bulldogs rise up the table in their place. They will do well to avoid yet another wooden spoon now. I did hear that John Boulous struggled to arrange coaching clinics for ten year old cricketers in a previous role. No wonder they signed him up at Parramatta.

A midweek rant in case you missed it:

Third Party Guilt. A Parramatta Special Extra

Not since the announcement of Gary Freeman, Stu Galbraith, Chris Thorman or indeed Lee Mossop has an international player taken the headlines at Parramatta and across the NRL like Semi Radrangirangoo.

Like most players under legal threat, the NRL has their share of Parramatta crims - Danny Wicks, Jacob Loko and Manu Mahu - and crimes: Junior Paulo, Chris Sandow, Michael Jennings and now Corey Norman. Just to name a few. I recall a signing attached to match fixing too. 

It's a busy life at Parramatta as a player manager...one minute writing press releases of innocence and the next writing letters of demand to a number of white collar blokes very familiar with courts and legalese for fatter contracts. No problems. No limits.

The signing of Ryan Morgan at Melbourne has seen him go from defensive nuffie to one of the form centres in the comp. Parramatta can do that to you. They inspire hope and then cut a hole in your throat with their mismanagement and incompetence. They actually appear to actively attract and retain, dare I say even recruit morons. They are the manufacturing plant of such types.

Even their captain Foran treats the club like a circus. Are there any normal blokes out there? Please, calling all non d&$@heads....maybe those the Swans reject?

Yet there they are with the boredom of the board room elections once again...no leaders, except the incompetence of who? Now Ian Schubert. The one who perpetually stuffed up the salary cap.

Indeed, Semi offered hope and is of course innocent until proven guilty...of course...and NRL blokes are dumb enough to get into these situations repeatedly and are sometimes innocent. Then who do you look to? A coach....the great Brad Arthur.

What does he do? Goes weak on serious stuff and lets Semi play (his call of course...of course). He too, by being so weak becomes yet another d$&@head.

And then I see Eric Groth Snr saying how immoral and bankrupt the club has become. He once tried to destroy his blue falcon with a Molotov cocktail!

Anyhow, buy more idiots and fill the joint with crims and see the place go to zip. There is something quite telling about the symbolism of knocking down Pirtek (didn't that company sell them out too?) Stadium.

If it was never re-built, would anyone care?

3. Waratahs. Fell over at a critical hurdle this week. Can they get back? A tough hill.

4. Nearly fell over to learn that Brad Hogg is not playing for the Scorchers next year. Money talks and I guess at his age (our age) it is the only option. The Renegades are overdue! Gotta love Justin Langer trying the guilt trip on him. Justin was always good at accumulating coin and is doing a good job now with diverse coaching gigs here, at national level and internationally.

5. Garry Jack. Is it just me or has he always had a strong streak of the goose in him? Think Ian Roberts, the failed "Gary Jack Score" derivative sports store...now this outrageous behaviour around his son Keiran. Wake up to yourself Gary and wife. Your son is more important than your egos.

6. The Clevland Cavaliers NBA Championship team. Not since the World Series Cricket days have we seen a better bunch of cavaliers. Richie Robinson and Robbie Langer would be proud.

7. Chase Stanley from the Bulldogs is now rivalling the grea tbrett papworth as the most injured footballer ever.

8. The State of Origin Game 3 may just be one of the biggest whackings in recent times....or since last year's Game 3 in fact! QLD to win in a canter.

Wrap - Ruexit

1. Rugby. It is surely like the bad relative, who we want to love, but simply cannot because it's too ugly. I think I have the problem: arrogant referees who blow penalties because they can - and more significantly, the 'advantage rule' that rolls on for ten minutes and then comes back. The art of kicking penalty goals is simply marvellous and the resetting of scrums is a delight to behold. Greg Martin surely needs a brain x-ray.

Fancy scheduling a game like this at Allan Jones Oval. It still had vacant seats! Homebush would have gotten at least another 20,000. England too good. We have gone backwards. Maybe they need to invest in more players from the Penrith area? Did you see Manly in First, Second, Third and Fourth grades beat Penrith 288-0 on the weekend! You could start there.

But that would require a few tweed jackets being taken off and a few less martinis. Buckleys. By my estimation, the English team won about $2.50 each for their 3-0 series win at current rates.

2. St Kilda had a tremendous win v Geelong, who are both in the mix for the finals. A big turn around by St Kilda. GWS power on and are by far the quickest team in the show. A close game of AFL is something else really. Hawthorn back on top of the comp. What a team of champions they are. They will be waiting to ambush GWS next time they meet!

3. The NRL Penalty Goal. It has become trendy to kick a penalty goal early...God knows why. It has also become trendy to award penalties early on. (I must say that the ex footballer Henry Perenara - who is looking bigger and stronger than many of the players - is one of our best. How does he miss an Origin gig? He was superb in the Sharks v Warriors and has the most respect of the players). A penalty is rarely the difference in the end. Is this a sign that NRL coaches are becoming like Laurie Daley? Captain conservative. Those who attack are rarely denied.

4. An Origin team of the future (next week). We can't do much better than this:

1. James Tedesco
2. Blake Ferguson
3. Josh Dugan
4. Jack Bird
5. Josh Mansour/ Tom Trobejovic.
6. Matt Moylan
7. James Maloney/ Nathan Cleary (Reynolds is done)
8. Aaron Woods
9. Michael Ennis (if we had the Cowboys hooker Josh Granville, we would win!)
10. Paul Gallen (c)
11. Josh Jackson
12. Tyson Frizzell
13. Andrew Fifita
14. David Klemmer
15. James Tamou
16. Bryce Cartwright
17. Wade Graham

 5. Sam Kassiano. He is awesome when fit. How many tries must he have scored as a junior player? Fair dinkum, he must have been huge and intimidating since the age of 10 (or earlier)! 

 

Sharks 11 wins in a row is super impressive. Great forwards and no silly penalties. The penalty is the thing these days. If you give them away, you lose. Memo Dylan Walker (joke selection - still). 

6. Devastated to hear that the great Nick (Off) Kgyrios has a bad draw for Wimbledon. Does anyone care? Low markers get bad draws - not new. When will he have a fight over white clothes at Wimbledon? This will be his next stunt. Anthony Mundine is officially more popular than this bloke.

7. Euro 2016. When Hungary, Poland, (Croatia), (Switzerland), Iceland, Wales, (Northern Ireland) and Ireland (half of the remaining teams with last night's losers bracketed) start winning soccer games, the world is truly in disarray. England's team are the perennial underachievers. No surprise if they exit v Iceland ICEXIT!. They need to attack too. Spain v Italy in the Round of 16  will clean out one big wig.

8. Copa America. Argentina v Chile. Surely the Argies are unbeatable here with Messi. Won't be long before we are in that with the 'Footballroos' in the southern hemisphere. Or is this as ridiculous as the Super 15 (remember that competition?) inclusion of Argentina in our rugby comp?

Wrap - International Picks

1. Sadly, Jarryd Hayne has become the new 'Man' Mundine. He is the new Matt Rogers or Sonny Bill...or lest I say it, Jana Pittman (Boob job tick, doctor degree tick, knee injury tick, winter Olympics bobsled tick, marriabe - divorce-marriage tick...and on it goes). Hayne has become a media circus. His Sevens Rugby venture with F1J1 fills out the picture. A young man who does not know where he is at...talented...but all over the shop basically.

2. Roosters. They have been terrible this season. Injuries, suspensions, lost players...yeah yeah, everyone goes through that...but they have lacked commitment and heart. The Warriors always pick up in the ridiculous Origin period (as they should), but will be pegged back once Origin passes.

3. On Origin, thank goodness they picked Jack Bird. We might score some tries. Look for Jennings to be next sacked and Maloney. Put Moylan to five eight and Tedesco at fullback. Dugan and Bird in the centres then we are talking. Forwards will be solid - so are the Queenslanders.

Must start with Greg Bird and Fifita to get us on a roll. Aaron Woods needs to lift. So does Klemmer.

I still believe that each side should have TWO optional picks of international players who once picked can only be used by that state. eg Burgess and Radradara...that would bring in the crowds! Time to evolve. Otherwise Semi may have a tantrum and go home.

4. Wallabies. It has been a while since we have had such a vanilla team. No superstars and no results. They lack a real hard nosed approach and look to have slipped badly since the World Cup. We never get used to England beating us at anything.

5. ODI Series in South Africa. it is dragging on like the M2 widening works. Boring and uneventful. Does anyone really or genuinely care? No.

6. Enjoying the tough Euro conditions and tussles with rival countries - and the soccer. Seems like you don't mess with the Russian fans. They don't like to be aggravated. Love that word HOOLIGAN. A cracker. Ronaldo's penalty miss was something else. Human after all.

7. Jason Day. A brilliant third round at the US Open. Firming as a possible winner after looking lost and done for all money.

8. Riccardo. has anyone told his pit crew he is racing this weekend? What a pack of absolute duds.

9. Hoping the Cleveland Cavaliers can knock over the win. The Golden State only lost a handful and have lost more in the last month than all season!

Wrap - Talent Scout

1. Club Rugby. The great rugby visionaries through their beer goggles and cash at Rugby headquarters (on the north side of course) have again betrayed the game. Look at Sydney University v Penrith on the weekend from first grade to fourth grade: 88-5, 111-12, 123-0, 82-0. Grand totals: 404 to 17. A really great weekend out at the game for all and sundry. Top shelf. They are clearly looking to get Penrith to fold.

Any wonder why no one watches Super Rugby anymore and why the Wallabies are getting lapped? England are far too dominant. In fact the Welsh and All Blacks would have knocked the Wallabies over too. Can't see England losing. Not sure if you caught Eddie Jones in the post match, but he said that Australia have "the best coach in the world". Very gracious from a bloke not used to that.

2. Dave Warner. He is in sparkling form. In fact, he is just behind Kohli and de Villiers as the best in the world. And he has been doing it for some time. Never made a rep team until he was older. Never got the featherbed decks of GPS or grade. Just raw talent and guts. Smashes the ball. See it and hit it.

What is doing with de Villiers? He speaks as Test captain and played in the ODI games. I thought he retired? Short retirement.

3. NSW Origin. Surely Bryce Cartwright comes into the team. We have too many forwards who are all the same. The great warhorse Corey Parker leads the way...offload and you win. NSW never do this. Cartwright has the goods. Add in James Tedesco if you want points and Tom Trobejovic (tall and good under the high ball) and we are starting to look decent. I can't see Mansour lasting. I like Moylan at five eight. Maloney is a short term fix. Cartwright also kicks goals (in a past life). Talk of Joey Luilieauauoeo from Canberra playing Origin...please! Add Semi Rarangirangoo first.

 

4. Manly. They have become terrible. Trent Barrett was the hope of the side and he has delivered FIVE losses in a row. Jamie Lyon is set to retire too. They are in a hole. They need to get rid of Brett Stewart too. A clean out. How can you be 24-4 up and the other mob win 31-24? Young Cleary looks like Ivan. Moylan composed under the pump as ever. If you work at Erskine Park High School you get that. 

5. When will we see a 30 metre penalty for the throwing of the ball away after a penalty by NRL players? This will quicken up the game and add discipline! I am a big fan of the super quick tap. No whining about decisions...keep playing.

6. GWS speed and skill on the ball is awesome. The Swans looked right off and lacked speed. They are certainly rotating some good new blokes however the bloke with the caterpillar mo needs kicking lessons, missing three straight in front! GWS could be on the cusp of great things sooner than would have been predicted - despite what Melbourne think. Gold Coast show you how it could have ended!

 

 

Wrap - The Greatest

1. Mohammed Ali. The greatest. (Forget Ali, Ryan Morgan scored a try for Melbourne on Saturday night!). Sadly for us, we did not catch the early days of Ali, not the prime of his powers. He was awesome, skilful and funny. I like the following: "I make medicine sick"; "I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing - and the shadow won"...plenty of quotes bouncing around, but he was the master.

2. State of Origin. Origin needs to be reinvented. The brand is fading (despite all the TV ratings, crowd, etc). Fundamentally, a dour 6-4 scoreline again in favour of QLD. A fan pick or two of international players would be an awesome non-mandatory option.

Did you know that since 2010, there have been 9 Origin games decided by five or less points and despite how it might sound, Queensland have won 5 of them and NSW 4. The last 6-4 result was the late Hodkinson try night in 2014.

3. Ange Postocoglou. Is he one of the most sour, poker faced coaches we have ever had? He is successful so no one cares...yet. It could end very quickly for him if we start losing. The linesman's decision to deny Cahill a goal on the line is still confusing. It crossed the line and curved back? Surely with a defender on the goal line he is onside.

4. Leicester. It didn't take long...Jamie Vardy on the cusp of a big paycheck at Arsenal or another huge club and Leicester are about to lose their No. 1 strike weapon. A cruel and disloyal game the soccer one.

5. ALLEGED NRL Match Fixing. The game needs a real clean out. There will need to be a tightening up in years ahead of whether a man in serious trouble with the law has the right to ever play the game. Sounds far fetched, but who ever thought we would have a biffless Origin and no shoulder charges with no punching in the game? This is the only way to weed out the idiots and cleanse the game. Brutal, but a common and recurring theme.

I noticed that young Pritchard has added to the Parramatta list from last week...interfering with ambulance staff at a drug overdose. What sort of life do these blokes lead? Young Foran is really getting the media blowtorch now. He may never be back.

6. Jarryd Hayne. The Fiji Sevens coach, Ben Ryan, has produced one of the best quotes of all time: "we don’t pick by face, we pick by form". Gotta love it! A shame some other teams in different codes don't adhere to this ethic!

7. D-DAY - 6 June. Novak Djokovic has the chance tonight to make history tonight at the French Open. He has never won it. He will become one of the very few (like Agassi) to have won all majors. He has a dominant hold over Andy Murray. It will be a terrible upset if Murray wins. However the effort of Serena was something else. She has stumbled twice now in succession as she tracks down Steffi Graf's record of 22 titles. Serena has won 21 titles - and lost 6 finals now (2 Wim, 1 Aus, 1 French, 2 US). This new name - Muguruza - is a star of the future.

8. The Riccardo pit stop was something else last week. Incompetence. Where the hell were they? Ridiculous.

9. Did anyone hear Wayne Bennet's response to Thaiday's silly virgin comments after State of Origin..."I told him people will be coming all over him if he said that". Back Page material.