Wrap - Parramatta Reminisce

There is no doubting the legions of support for Parramatta. Blind faith that there is club and football team leadership and direction at the top. Regardless, the good and madly simple Parramatta supporter folk just want to see victories and cheer on their local team. They are a loyal lot, lurking in every office across the nation. Maybe the 'Friends of Parramatta Park' might just be the last fans left if they are not careful. Moeroa is a champion...Pauli Pauli potentially awesome...Radradra exemplary...Norman outstanding...Takairangi (rangdoo) making a difference...Peats a rep player... they offer hope.

So where did it all go wrong? Is it just that the beaches of Cronulla and Manly are better places than the banks of the upside down Parramatta River? Was it just after the Cumberland Oval grandstand fire - or was it when 'Click Go The Shears' gave way to Jon English's song that was seemingly recorded down a coal mine? Or was it when 'Kick on at Kicks' and the famous dollar drinks gave way to Sterlos? Maybe it was when "The Pit" was disbanded downstairs.

Many also point to the greatest dud signing of all time - a 14 year old kid called Barney Haslett. Poor bugger. Crusher Cleal's last brainwave before he, his shopping trolley full of pasta and his modern day boys home concept was shipped out. Or was it when the club signed Jeff Fenech (love youse all)? However the crazy/. unfortunate/ mad signings have continued to this day.

We all recall the terrible luck in signing Adam Ritson, but how did they ever let Andrew Ryan go to the Bulldogs? To this day, no one also knows what happened with Jamie Lyon and that contract fiasco. He apparently even pocketed those fifties waved at him over the fence and collected those coins thrown at him. It was as mysterious as the annually renewed Mick Cronin contract in his playing days. As mysterious as why Justin Poore became a rank dud once signed and how Kevin Kingston - a smart leader and player - was not signed up.

How about the foray into England...first it was Chris Thorman, a renown dud, then it was the Englishman Lee Mossop who played three games after being signed with a chronic shoulder injury, Gareth Hock bailed out before even arriving, while this year young Ben Crooks was meant to be the next great thing.  Never seen. Will Hopoate was signed and allowed to forgo two years of his prime - and has not been the same player since. Don't forget the Israel Folau signing contract schemozzle too. But we just re-signed John Folau who is as good, so who cares. We have had ex jailbirds in Mahu and Wicks (playing well), ex druggies like Rene Maitua and we even re-signed a bloke who was there but only after he had returned with a possible broken neck (Fa'aoso). Now the Foran hullabaloo, malarkey. Apparently, Beau Scott is more nervous than a garden gnome in John Ibrahim's garden.

We've also signed Peter Sharp, sent him packing and signed him again. The success he has brought to the club is unparalleled. Just better than his namesake, Steve Sharp. Hard to get that early 1980's image of Steve Sharp with a tyre lever at Brooks Tyres near Parramatta Jail out of my mind. But at least he won a lot of comps.

Oh for the glory days of bouncing on the wooden seats at Cumberland Oval and later watching Mike Eden pot them from the sideline with his left and right boot, seeing Paul Carige try and singlehandedly lose a semi final, cheering Shane Whereat the fastest man in rugby league, hearing Guru Grothe had slipped over in the pre game warm up v Canberra and was out again, hoping young Guru Grothe grew up and discarded his stupid guitar first, or watching Lee Oudenryn beat Martin 'Chariots' Fire in a foot race. Like the League Olympics from way back. Enough to make Chook Herron choke on a World Rugby League Sevens 2003 winners medal! That or gnaw away at the Tooth Cup of 1980.

Bring back the long plastic Eel with human legs underneath, the Aboriginal guys who ran out with spears and posed so powerfully leg on knee on the quarter lines pre game or even the flying wedge from the late 1970's. There was character in those days. Where are those nets that held the blue and gold balloons?

Character it was that saw all those locals at Pennant Hills identify Paul Mares and Guru Grothe making a hash of the Molotov cocktail and land themselves in the clink. The association with police and jails knows no bounds. Why even the great Jarryd Hayne proved himself in those early days in Kings Cross, sidestepping bullets well before hapless defenders.

And who has been the next Sterlo? First it was Stu Galbraith, Jason Bell, Andrew Fitzhenry, Tulsen Tollett and Ben Kusto, then Witt, Speechley, Dykes, Johnny Simon, Andrew McFadden, Casey McGuire, Gary Freeman, Troy Pezet, John Morris, Tim Smith, Kris Keating and young Mortimer. Sandow is better than the lot. He has been dropped more often than a dollar coin in a poker machine at Wenty Leagues - or dropped more often by a toothless woman (or bloke..) after 2.00am at the same place.

Brian Jackson and David Woods - even Michael Beuttner were the next Steve Ellas...the great paspalum chewing junior nursery has been corrupted by Brian Smith cloned coaches who forgot about flair and talent, preferring left sides and right sides. Jack Gibson did it all from a bus at Granville Park. Now we have weekends away in Coffs Harbour with massages and facials. Even now, local juniors are as rare as the National Panasonic Cup winner's photos.

So for every new fan, hoping for the future, there is one who remembers the Danny Crnkovich sidestep at pace, the Peter Johnston big hit, Graham Settree's head gear, the Bear O'Reilly's red cheeks, Eddie Flahey's sidestep, John Kolc's mo, Graham Murray's mo, Graeme Atkin's mo, Phil Mann's stride, Graham Olling's bald head before his steroid confession, Scott Mahon's mullet, Greg Drake's gut, Mark Tookey's gut, David Vaealiki's low socks, Inu's smile, David Solomona's black head gear rat's tail or Ray Higgs' blonde curls.

Pricey's statue has never had more bird crap on it. Board/ Club Elections that would make Robert Mugabe blush..with outcomes as predictable as Neil Hunt's sidestep... Fake ballots...gravy trains and the words 'Fitzgerald-Spagnola' that make the fans wince and churn. You always know when an election is coming...they renovate the Leagues Club. A perfect distraction from the main game.

Often too we have all cried out for some Tingha vouchers to halt the ex player whinging - Kenny, Price and Guru have led this. Of late Leadbeater has shown more talent for offending the opposition than he ever did as a player.  Then there is Fitzy getting marched off the premesis...Fui Fui putting the boot in to all in his best selling novel...the Sandow car accident...Peats' car repossessed. Salary cap fines. Docked competition points. Players avoid drug tests with an old fashioned switcheroo...

Enough to send you straight to the Tollgate. Surely it has to improve.

Wrap - The Difference of a Day

1. Origin II. Melbourne have once again outdone us lads. Sorry to say it, but they have. A huge crowd. 91,000+. Most had no idea who was playing and who they were cheering, but they turned up. Slow in winter down there.

Got to say that the ref - Gerard Sutton - is dreadful. His effort to march across both team's ten metre line and blow a penalty in front of the sticks was the legend of Jack Danzy or Kevin - 'Bilko' - Roberts. Amazing time warp stuff for the modern era. He did it twice!

How Aaron Woods did not win the MOTM is beyond me. He was dominant and tough. Farah was down on form with a busted shoulder (good story when you win), Hoppa is still mediocre and Pearce must run with the footy. We look electric when he runs the ball. A much improved player. Love the way Merrin and Klemmer play. Hard. Cordner is a bit of an imposter however.

This Klemmer is truly mad. We need a bit of that. Jennings...how he could be such a galoot is beyond me, but just for a moment would a policeman get a bit starry eyed and suddenly intolerant at 2.30am in Parramatta and make a name for himself? Never. Not much good happens in Parramatta after 12.00pm. Not a lot of good happens before 12.00pm either, just quietly.

2. Interesting to see Thurston get agitated in Origin footy. It happens a bit. Not a sign of it in club ball, but when playing for QLD he seems to lapse into it - especially if scoreboard pressure is mounting. Still the best in the game and by far the best player we have seen. Quite amazing really. He backs up and beats Canberra on his own. The Cowboys have won so many games in the final moments this year (v. Storm by 1, Warriors by 4, Knights by 2, Manly by 4, Parramatta by 6, Canberra by 1...). Thurston is the difference. That's 12 NRL points!

3. Cricket. Will be interesting to see when Mitchell Marsh replaces Shane Watson. Can't be too far away surely. Ryan Harris has joined the team so the big dilemma is who is left out. Harris will play. I suspect it will be Lyon - or Johnson. Johnson seems down on pace again for mine and nothing like his last Ashes in Australia. How can you lose it so quickly? Grow that mo!

4. Super 15. Highlanders won well. The Brumbies have been gallant winning yet again in South Africa, but need some more spark. Not enough in the tank for mine. Tomane's opposite was terrible.

5. Swans. The week off, but well set for the semis again. Like the look of North Melbourne but Port Adelaide are on a fast downwards spiral. They were terrible to lose to Carlton. The video ref in AFL is one of the worst. The beer must flow steadily into the video ref box.

6. US Golf. Jason Day has had a vertigo relapse, but still finished strongly. A great story with the news editors across the world gathering their headlines...He has shown amazing character. Here's hoping for a better than top ten in a major.

Is it unfair to suggest Adam Scott may be a one trick pony in winning majors? A magnificent pony it was, but top 20 is often as good as it gets. How soon a No 1 in the world fades...What to make of Tiger? He seems to have almost lost it. I suspect he will be back sometime, but not soon. Speith is the new champion to beat. Calm under pressure!

7. Intriguing to see that another innocent Australian sportswoman has been done for drugs in swimming this time. Kylie Palmer. Looks like a cross between Petria Thomas and Dimity Douglas. No idea how it got there of course...maybe toothpaste, too much sex, infected food, crook drink, fine print on medicine...or maybe Warnie's mum gave it to her. It was a diuretic.

8. UFC. I find it very hard to believe this to be a credible sport. Tough. Uncompromising no doubt. Fit. Strong, but oh so brutal. One of those sports that no one knows the names of its best players. Like ten pin bowling. Maybe it needs to be in the Olympics too?

9. The netball. These women are superb athletes. Tough and skilful. Big in the shoulders. Unbelievable comeback by the Queensland Firebirds. Edging towards a choke by the Swifts. Superb theatre. Let's hope the Matilda's can knock over Brazil tonight. Now that would be a glorious choke!

Wrap - Holding On

1. Swans. Buddy Franklin is in some sort of form. Worth every cent. His dominance  and length of kick is unparalleled in the game. Popular? Not really, but all class and is a clear matchwinner. His teammates love him. A good sign. The work of the Swans midfield is also exceptional. Jarred McVey is a calm legend of the game. However Kurt Tippett may be on the look out for a new club - and Rhys Shaw. Too many ineffectual plays and looseness. No place in the modern game.

2. The Warriors. Has there been a squad more powerful and dynamic than this lot - and a bunch of more disappointing underperformers? They are woeful at times.

3. I noticed Andrew McFadyn has donned the slimline jumper - and Paul Green has gotten rid of the blue checked shirt. Says something.

4. Waratahs. Despite my ongoing baggings, they have triumphed once more and are well positioned to make another final. Congrats to them all and like Graham Arnold, Michael Chieka is one of our best man managers in all of Australian sport (conversely, look at the Western Force!). I suspect the Brumbies - whose defence has been one of the strongest all season - may have something to say about that.

5. When will an Australian sport take the US lead and make the Grand Final a best of three? One home. One away. Final one dictated by the highest finishing team. What a money spinner (a la Origin) that would be. Think MLB, NBA...Some of these sports need to start thinking differently.

6. Cricket. Steve Smith looks in good form - again (has he ever been out of form?). I still think his lateral crease shuffle at the point of playing the ball could be exploited more. However, what bowlers in the current world crop are good enough to do this? Anderson? Broad? Steyn? Morkel? It would be nice to see Shane Watson get more than 30 runs in a Test. Borrowed time surely.

Did you see some of the excuses given for not playing in the Test by some of the West Indians..Bishoo (bad finger) and Samuels in particular. Marlon Samuels is surely on his last warning. He has a lot of the Gayles/ Bravos about  him. The flu? He was sitting there in a shirt and shorts. Maybe a heartlidge or a paper cut. Anyone missing Chanderpaul?

Loved seeing some old fashioned West Indian fast bowling aggression...a few jaw ticklers...that Holder reminds me of Big Bird/ Ambrose! Starc is fast becoming our main man too.

7. Women's Football World Cup. Highly skilled and amazing brutality! There is some old fashioned entertainment in this sport, where players seem to be enjoying playing for the thrill of representing their country and winning!

Wrap - Parramatta's Relegation - Special Edition

I think we have all just witnessed one of the most catastrophic and pathetic displays of rugby league by a team since 1908. Leading 30-6, Parramatta lose 36-30!

Sorry to all the Eels apologists out there and those who want to sook about loyalty, but get a grip, please.

The Eels. Pathetic.

Does anyone think they need leadership and leaders - smarter footballers - to be recruited instantly? This was staggering.

They are a dumb, rudderless football team. Watmough has added nothing really...except a few customary play the ball fumbles and penalties.

How does Ryan Morgan get a start in any first grade team? He is possibly the worst footballer in first grade at any club. Ever. In fact, when you see his name on the team sheet, Parramatta are destined to lose. Have a close look at the last 20 mins of game footage and tell me Ryan Morgan is not the worst player since Chris Thorman - or Paul Carige for the Eels.

Tim Mannah..good bloke...top fella...wonderful ambassador...yada yada...but he clearly is done. He needs to be part of the clean out. He is the surviving problem over the last eight years. He has not offloaded a footy since he started and offers no leadership or mental toughness. I am sad to say it, but he is too used to losing. He also draws a hefty wage.

Exit stage left, before the good players go too.

They need to also look at the coach. He was the one who could not crack a win in the last few games last year to edge them to the semis. He is not getting through to them, but if many of your squad are ex prisoners, domestic violence offenders, accused cheats, regulars in court and drug test liars and avoiders ...maybe he is performing miracles.

Far too many of these players make poor choices in their personal lives, which are reflected in the poor choices they make on the field. When it comes to a crisis decision or the tough moment, they wilt. They have proven form in this sphere.

Bring it in close. Adopt the Swans' "NO DICKHEAD POLICY" please.

They could also give some thought to getting Toovey across there when he gets punted. He at least knows how to win...most years. He is tough and insistent.

Brad Arthur puts on a great surprised - face lift - look in a press conference.

But, the sun comes up as usual and another spoon will make its way to the Eels Leagues Club (which by the way is making a storming profit...cue handstands....cartwheels....yippee..). All the while the club goes down the sinkhole.

Maybe the brainiac who took the overpaid, underperforming Eels brats to the north coast last week for their weekend massage and day spa needs to be sacked. It's hard work losing the unloseable and earning a wooden spoon.

Maybe a lesson or two in reading the momentum of the game and choices that need to be made under pressure would have been better. Was that not part of the USA frolic at the start of the year? What did they actually learn over there?

No matter, the wages will be in the account tomorrow.

They should be relegated to the NSW Cup. Today.

Wrap - A Goodes Thing

1. So Adam Voges was the man as predicted. A wonderful ton under pressure on a low turner (not a WACA deck), reinforcing the old ethic that those excelling in Shield make the best batsmen. He is actually quite capable of playing the middle order Boof Lehmann role when he was selected all those years ago.

Shane Watson may need to be nervous now. Do we really need his bowling at present - even allowing for the rubbish attitude of the West Indies when the pressure is on? Starc, Hazlewood and Johnson have him covered. And no room for Chanderpaul? The politics of protecting Lara's run scoring record is clearly at work here. Typical dysfunctional West Indian cricket...even when they have a solution, no one can bend. And where is Pollard, Gayle, et al? Stupidity.

Had to laugh a little at the Nathan Lyon record v Hugh Trumble. Lyon may have the total wickets but at nearly 38 runs each, compared to Trumble's low 20's? A steady cricketer who seems to be a good bloke, but who ranks somewhere above Ray Bright and Tom Hogan but beneath Roo Yardley.

2. AFL. This Adam Goodes thing is dividing the game, not uniting in its indigenous focus. There needs to be some cool heads, but this wholesale booing of Goodes is a terrible look. I note that at the SCG he is applauded more loudly than ever with every touch. The AFL have a significant problem with their fans.

3. Souths and the Storm looked dominant. Titans are doing pretty well for a team that has a ridiculous situation with the turncoat, Daley Cherry-Evans. Always be wary of a man with a hyphenated surname. Usually VERY indecisive by name and nature.

I am sensing too that it will all end in tears at the Tigers with Jason Taylor. He is incapable of smiling and I see a bloke whose negativity will bounce heavily on a team of emerging whingers and brats. Get set for the tears.

4. Folau finally clicked for the Tahs on the weekend. He has had a quiet season really and needs to lift. Their next South African match looms as critical. Being on top of the Australian conference sounds great, but means little.

I was wrong about that Reds coach. Inexplicably they have kept him on, despite the shipwreck.

5. FIFA. Is there not scope for a break away football league? A world split aligned to 'old FIFA' (Africa, Asia) and those who seek a new order (Europe, Americas)? Surely the game could divide like Super League as there is significant cash in that game. When all is resolved, they re-unite on new terms. Simple. TV companies make a motza in between.

6. Serena Williams. She is elite and simply phenomenal. Four behind the best ever but now goes to Wimbledon with the Australian and French under her belt. What price a 2015 Grand Slam?

7. Barcelona 3-1 over Juventus as world champions. They are some sort of team - with some sort of chequebook.

8. I saw one of the funniest movies on the weekend - San Andreas. If you want to see an action film that makes no sense, has no logic and has ridiculous one liners that make no sense...watch it. Very funny.