Wrap - Pakistani Birth Certificates

1. Naseem Shah. Can you imagine the precision at the Karachi Births, Deaths and Marriages office? A bit like the Samoan/ Tongan one. This Naseem Shah would cause a bit of pain for the U/16 lads in school cricket. He bowls at pace. A little like Shoaib Aktar. It seems extraordinary, but I think Waqar Younis was 20 for about three seasons too.


2. Great innings by Warner and by Labuschagne too. These were big tons in the context of the series. Tim Paine needs to focus on his game. More silly comments about the scentof an opponent to go with his babysitting ones. He should concentrate on scoring runs and getting dismissals. I suspect he needs these more than the ridiculous comments. Starc looking sharp. Cummins powerful.


3. B.J Watling. The New Zealand keeper is a star performer under pressure. The number of times he rescues the Kiwis with the bat is stunning. 8 Test tons is impressive in the modern era. He has saved them again v England. A double ton under pressure works well! An understated star of the NZ Blackcaps.


4. Valentine Holmes. Signs for a squillion...but where are Cronulla in all of this? They have been dudded. Nonetheless the NFL Dream was basically a quick snooze on a Saturday afternoon and not much more. Good luck to him, but I doubt a six year contract will be seen through by him. He is restless. SBW like.


5. NRL. Have we reached a time where no one cares enough anymore about the pay packets or drama... so long as they get their fix on TV?


6. Rugby. Interesting rugby move to get the All Blacks Academy on our soil. Just don't let any Australian coaches or past players near it and we should be right.


7. Nick Kgyrios - Davis Cup. The  new system of Davis Cup was all going well until Nick Kgyrios hurt his collarbone at night and cruelled our chances... collarbone at night? Wrestling on bed? Fight? How does one do a collarbone at night? Very odd. But of course we then lost and the rest is history. Nick is as popular as a dirty dunny seat. It seems odd, but he did say something smart...tennis has too many nothing tournaments and needs a revamp.


7. Cameron Smith. Playing on for another season... When will he become head coach?


8. EPL. Leicester sitting second and 9 points adrift. Liverpool just keep winning. Klopp has a stunning record since arriving at Anfield.


9. A-League. We could have an unfolding fiasco on our hands here. No big names and no glamour. Failing crowds and interest...a new TV deal which could be a complete dud. Maybe they need a heap of sixteen year old kids to ignite the public interest.


10. W-League. How about the over reaction of the "corruption" in W League. Providing a team list... wow. Don't invite Cricket Australia to a BBQ...they bring sledgehammers to kill flies. Honestly...

Wrap - Take No Prisoners

1. International Rugby League - Kumuls Pummel Them!. The changing world order in rugby league has been a long time coming, but surely the Pacific nations are positioned to become the dominant partners now. I have trumpeted a State of Origin concept involving them as well. If they were smart in New Zealand, they would pit the mainland against the island nations and replicate the success. The Kumuls had a great win 28-10, but how ordinary are Great Britain? Bennet should retire immediately and forget he ever went near them.


2. Over It. How long can the league season go on for some of these English players? John Bateman must be well over it by now. They need a rest. The prisoner, David Fifita, left for Bali with a million dollars a season offers, uncertain of his future. He hits shale and now his career is back on track at the Broncos? Something is not right here.


Really liked the NFL stance on stupidity of players involved in a brawl at the end of the game with that 'helmet donging' incident. They fined the clubs $250,000 each. This is a good way to keep them in check and remind them that they are registered by the governing body each year. Imagine how quick that would cure nonsense in the NRL?


3. Paul Gallen v Barry Hall. What gives with a 'draw' in boxing? What a disgrace. There is a grubby underside to some of these decisions unfortunately. They need longer rounds. The money in this pay per view boxing is outrageous.


4. Sheffield Shield. With four outright victories already, NSW may well make the final after only four rounds. They will take some stopping now.


5. Kurtis Patterson. Has he been kidnapped? What has happened to him? Surely he is a better prospect than Cameron Bancroft? Bancroft has literally done nothing all year and he is picked. Surely not as a fieldsman, no matter how good! Not because of his WA connection?


On that, would the exit of three top shelf players from the one state citing mental health alarm you if you were an official? (Maddinson, Maxwell and Pucovski). I get the feeling that Pucovski is a rough diamond, but every time he gets close to a Test debut, yet another challenge mentally arises. Hopefully they are all fine. Cameron Bancroft could not be happier or luckier.


Don't dismiss Daniel Hughes as a future Australian opener either.


6. A-League. Can we have a marquee player or two please? This will change the comp to its original intention. We will have a mediocre, going nowhere comp forever soon. It brings great joy to many.


7. NBA. A record crowd of 17,000 watch the Kings v Illawarra Hawks. Impressive!


7. Tennis New Era. Thiem v Tsisparis. The old guard of the brilliant three - Federer, Nadal and Djokovic have vanished momentarily. I suspect they will be back!

Wrap - Cup Winneth Over

1. Rugby World Cup. Awesome win by the Springbox. They were tough and relentless. They surprised the English. We have certainly learned a few things about rugby these past two months. Japan was an amazing venue with great crowds. The quality of their fields were even better than their team however. England were tremendous, but in the end South Africa just did it all better. The defence in world rugby is so good that fifteen players looks about five too many. Eddie Jones will surely not take the Australian reigns again... What of the deposed NZ coach. We need a road map plan for the future of juniors and the achievement of excellence.


2. Rugby League - Tonga Win. Unlike those critical of the Australians, we need not be surprised. The NRL has become a massive talent base for all Pacific Island nations and has really promoted those players. How good would it be to get them involved in an Origin type game as well? We need more regular games. No shame in this loss...it could well become the norm!


3. Melbourne Cup. After the winning tip last year on Cross Counter, I am on Mer De Glace. Looking for seven wins in a row. It was rocketing away with the Caulfield Cup at the finish (2400m) and should prove too strong at the end of the Cup (3200m) for mine. I also like Surprise Baby at $15. When will the Frankie Dettori stories start saying how hopeless he has been in Australia?


Liked Kerry O'Keefe's line "anyone can have a bad decade or two with the Cup"...he last won on Doreimus. It feels like this most years!


Are the overseas horses killing the Cup? Having a proportion of Australian runners locked in needs to be safeguarded. Otherwise it holds no interest. eg. The chances of ARWON (Nowra) being represented these days is dead.


4. EPL. Both ManU (10th) and Arsenal (5th) are apparently about to punt their coaches. Both teams are doing diabolically! It is Liverpool's to lose now. Interested to see Melbourne United the new A league team doing so well. Depth will tell in time. The Perth Glory are seeking Zlatan Ibrahimovic which will surely lift crowds. They will need some sheckles there as he is an (ageing) gun!


5. Cricket. Once again, no real stars in the Shield. Marnus still absolutely excelling... Trent Copeland is still reeling the wickets in for NSW. Chadd Sayers is doing the business in SA and S. Marsh keeps scoring. Wade is steady and wins games for you. The test series will be a good grounding for some that need a chance. Kurtis Patterson has vanished!

Wrap - All Hansen Deck

1. Rugby World Cup. England wins v All Blacks. A great effort by the best pack in the game. Their strength coaching is awesome. Their halves and backs look like they eat full grown wallabies. That draw is something else. Wales and South Africa have a hell of a lot of luck riding on it all. Is it just me or is this the world's longest tournament? Is Steve Hansen available to coach Australian rugby and transform its lumbering carcass? Surely Raelene's position comes under heavy scrutiny. She has not had a happy time of it in Australian sport.


2. Idiot Watch. Not sure how the Storm did it, but Vunivalu seemed to escape any punishment - or the player tackling drunk idiots into the Bali pool. They then got Nelson to miss getting hammered by the Kiwis...not a Storm game touched. Genius. Not surprising to see Josh Dugan in the news sadly. I am also fearing that Barry Hall may whack Paul Gallen into another hemisphere. He is a big man.


3. Women's Cricket. This is fast becoming more interesting than the BBL. The concept could well fade under the weight of retired world hopping ex- players... and Chris Lynn gets upset he didn't get a phone call from selectors? Please. No whinging from the girls...Perry, Healey, Blackwell... superstars.


4. Alex De Minaur becomes our highest ranked tennis player with decency for some time. Forget 'No Brains Nick'. Great effort from someone who never gives up. Ash Barty has set a new standard I suspect.


5. EPL. Leicester City have brained them early this season. 9-0 v the hopeless Southampton. That is impressive! ManU are in free fall and need rescuing. Impressed with Chelsea under Lampard.


6. T20 Cricket. Why do we play these useless tournaments? The ICC have no systems and no shape to their world playing schedule. Money, money, money... Some would say it has fallen apart since Richie Benaud and Tony Greig left us. Warner's ton and the other batting was pretty entertaining - especially Maxwell - but Sri Lanka are a shambles whenever they come here.


7. International Rugby League. Great that rugby league has an international stage, but it is a small one really. Lots of good Pacific nations - and a spectacular Tongan try, catch it here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=408247176754899



8. MLB. Amazing World Series of the Washington Nationals v Houston Astros. Teams that lose the first two out of the best of seven games (Astros) and have to claw back to win the whole thing are very, very rare. With the series locked at 2-2, it is exciting times here.


9. Cox Plate. The short straight at Moonee Valley gets them every year! What a great time of racing for the punters. Lys Gracieux won in style. These Japanese horses can run! Chief Ironside at $27 was a cracking overseas player too! Derby Day will be outstanding!


10. A-League. Suddenly the A League has sprung to life with the Sydney derby and a full Bankwest Stadium. Jamie McLaren is in sparkling form too.

Wrap - Cheikmate Everest

1. Cheikmate. "The Rugby world is in shock with the resignation of Michael Cheika who had simply had enough of all the useless players and staff around him and demanded more. Speaking via satellite, Cheika reported feeling betrayed by the media, the back and front office staff and stated he was sick to the back teeth of all the losses they were handing him". Renee Castle may need to watch the locksmith doesn't surprise her when she turns up for work too. They need a complete clean out. Too many coaches and assistant coaches and bag carriers and gear stewards... honestly.


2. Wallabies. Terribly ill disciplined and lacking flair. Excited about the junior Wallabies who beat the All Blacks. Can we turn things on their head a little and actually get some more enterprising halves? Genia...please. We need smarter players with more speed. England were far too good and will go close. Wales no chance...NZ awesome. Barrett, B is simply the best there is in the world.


3. NRL World 9s. How can you have a tournament like this and only play on a Friday and Saturday? Most peculiar indeed.


4. The Everest. That race is the most cracking horse race in the country - if not the world. Yes, Yes, Yes was a superb winner. Great to see old Glen Boss (our age) win too. The Melbourne Cup is still the dux, but the Everest with so many horses known by everyone locally, is a hit. Get rid of the international horses at the Melbourne Cup to rediscover that feel. All Cup runners should have to have a minimum number of appearances in Australian races eg. five runs before competing.


5. Shield Cricket. Regretably, Shaun Marsh is back (214) and will hit another series of pathetic form bubbles across the summer but having him start with a double ton means both he and Mitchell will be back in Australian colours. Justin  Langer could not be happier! Mitchell is meant to be captaincy material so the papers say, but he is out of action because he punched a wall! Give me a break!


5/40 and 4/20 from Starc is much better...Warner two ducks (what is going on there?). No runs from a whole heap - Khawaja (2 and 0), Burns (39 and 22), Wade (20 and 40), Head (0 and 12), Harris (69 and 8)...Labuschagne (32 and 33no) is still showing tenacity, but cannot crack a ton. Pattinson 4 wickets... no Cummins or Hazelwood at present.


6. EPL. Leicester and Jamie Vardy are surging at present. Onto 17 points. Nine points in front of the struggling ManU. Even Crystal Palace are performing better than them in 2019. Liverpool will stretch their competition lead out to 8 points with a win over ManU in their game tonight.


7. A League. The new Western United team are looking pretty good early. Maybe put another team on the Gold Coast!
8. The Storm almost got away with the Nelson Asafa-Solomona issue. Surely these folk cannot play the game for extended periods, but they are painted as victims and we roll over!

Wrap - Spectacular Fails

1. NRL Grand Final. Hard to explain away a loss on the strength of a 'six to go' call that was reversed. Extraordinary though it was... Canberra dropped too much ball out wide and could have used the shorter kick through the line occasionally for mine. Joey does some great things and some dumb things ('dead marine' lying in the play the ball when the try was scored) so he will not really be missed if picked up by another club.


Croker for all he does well, worries me, but he was OK. Taking Charnz off at the end with cramp was not helpful either as he was a star. Ricky's decision to go into the game with Simonssen was curious. Wighton has grown up a lot since Origin too and played hard. He will be an Origin star in years to come with his electrifying pace and toughness. Soliola and Horsborough were two who excelled for them. They toughen the middle well and straighten up the play. The red headed one needs more minutes! Bateman was superb as usual too - so tough and sensible.


For the Roosters, Latrell Mitchell is not getting the accolades he deserves for the pass to Tupou that set up the Tedesco try. Talent. His goalkicking under pressure was pretty amazing too. JWH was powerful. Brett Morris impeccable under pressure. Too strong in the end. Cronk has delivered two premierships. They will certainly miss his lead in years to come. Young Flanagan is talented, but no Cronk. Cronk should be signed immediately as a coach by an NRL team who wants to win. No wonder Melbourne dominated for so long and no wonder Smith was so annoyed he left!


Suddenly Trent Robinson is up there as one of the greatest coaches of the game has seen: 3 wins out of seven seasons. Ricky has one GF win (2002) and three GF losses now (2003, 2004, 2019) as coach.




2. NRL Debacle - Half Time Entertainment. Tuesday's team meeting at NRL head quarters should be interesting.  The honest debacle of the Ryan James Acknowledgement of Country (shades of Mal Meninga's political resignation speech) was added to by the fiasco of the pass the ball competition into the back of a car at halftime. We then got a bloke in his Julius Marlow's kicking for goal only to shank it 10 metres. Then Daryl Braithwaite and Ian Moss were playing 'Horses' and all of a sudden the players returned to the field. Amateur hour.


Our obsession with fireworks continues. At least last year's relay of the club mascots was put to rest - and we were spared a cheating running/ pass the footy relay. I still think there is scope for the "League Olympics" across the semi finals and onto Grand Final Day. Kick for goals from ridiculous angles on the 10 metre line, drop kicks from 30m - 40m and 50m for goal, league's fastest man over 100m, longest punt kick... simple, but the crowd would love it.


Then of course now we hear that there were two Clive Churchill medallists - JWH and Wighton. Two Canberra blokes, Laurie Daley and the horn blower, Mal Meninga were the judges with Lockyer... please. When does Peter Beattie leave and will Greenberg own any of this?


Add this to the trainer impeding the ball (and how did the Roosters get it back - please?) and the 'six to go' controversy... All we needed was a parachutist hitting the roof of the stand or an Optus TV bursting...or a few metal spikes left on the ground from 'Rip Rip Woodchip...'., or Billy Idol.
Do we have an iconic rugby league song? Boys Are Back In Town (Thin Lizzie) or Simply The Best (Tina Turner). Can't beat 'Up There Cazaly'!


3. Rule Changes NRL.
A couple spring to mind:
(i) Trainer lingers on field? Penalty at half way to the non-offending team.
(ii) Ball not handed to the opponent at a turn over - 30 metre penalty against. Like the AFL 50 metre penalty.
(iii) No injury time outs when not near the play. What happened to that rule?


3. Next? So we head into Hardie Ferodo 1000 Territory. Love a bit of Bathurst and a few crazies. The Marsh Cup is over hopefully and maybe some proper cricket will appear soon...


4. Rojit Sharma. Two tons in the South Africa v India Test. Rare days, but South Africa are in some bother now without Amla and Steyn. Du Plessis and de Cock are stars, but not many others.


5. EPL. Very impressed with the work of Liverpool who are already eight points ahead. Is this unbeatable already? Man City (16) and Arsenal (15) sit next and the early efforts of Crystal Palace, Leicester and Burnley pit them well on track for a cracking year. 30 points just about gets you out of relegation problems.


6. AFL Draft. The time of year when the disaffected, dishonest and the turn coats come out to play. Daniher to Sydney is huge, but there is no love this week. Papley is a curious character. Surely you cut them free when they want out. Tomorrow.


7. Rugby Union World Cup. Once again a World Cup of something with minnows wasting everyone's time. Get rid of them and tell them to "get good"! Have a minnows World Cup instead somewhere else and relegate the useless officials to that one. There may not be enough in the main cup from what we are seeing. The advantage rule is killing the game. It was a better game without it.

Wrap - Grade 1 Lime Green Donuts

1. Canberra. Great to see the lime greens making the Grand Final, but they are not beating the Roosters for mine. Never like seeing too much celebration in getting to the Grand Final, which they did, but the Canberra team deserve great congratulations. They will need to play the game of their lives and they have done it twice v Melbourne this season.


Their outside backs do not tackle like the Roosters. I really worry about Jarrod Croker in defence. Wighton can only do so much. The toughness of their forwards is a strength - Bateman, Horsburgh, Papalli. I just don't think they can match the fire power across the park that the Roosters boast. Manu, Morris and Toupu... these guys are amazing in defence. Cordner is superb out wide. His defence is awesome and he does the tough runs from his own line so well.


The HIA is a serious matter these days and the game can shift rapidly with these cases to key players. Yet head gear seems a forlorn part of the kit bag. Will it become compulsory? Interesting that mouthguard technology is being trialled and tested at present for tracking severity of concussions in AFL, Rugby and NRL.


Tedesco the Dally M for mine. He won the Origin and the semi v the Storm on his own. A superb player.


2. Storm v Roosters.  Nothing like a team beating the Storm. The fans love it! No one in Sydney is that disappointed that Melbourne faded. They are an astounding success story regardless. Interesting that Smith is no guarantee to continue on next season. They did better than most thought this year. Souths also overachieved. Cook has been injured for weeks. When he runs from dummy half he is a different player and menacing. He hasn't done it for four weeks.


3. GWS. Thumped - absolutely crunched! 114-25. Stagefright, like the Swans v Hawks a few years ago. I can't cop a coach who makes no changes when the game is getting away from them. Leon Cameron wanted to play a game with lots of hand passes and finesse. He was pig headed and arrogant when it was failing fast before half time. Instead he persisted.


Unfortunately, Richmond just own the MCG and have been winning since 13 June this year...12 in a row! A superb performance. Dominant. GWS will struggle to come back from this for a while. Richmond meanwhile have started a dynasty that may continue a little while yet. My tip is Brisbane to surge back. They had the NEAFL in hand this year and have pace to burn.


4. World Cup Rugby. Great win by Japan over Ireland (shocking loss really).


Rugby is still a rank amateur sport. The refereeing standards across the globe are woeful. The TMO is no better. Australia lose and at best will now be in the worst side of the draw. Rugby is yet another of the great unaccountable sporting organisations in the world. Honestly, this sport lets its players down all the time.


5. Dumb Rugby League Ideas - Caddies. When will we have caddies for NRL kickers? I can see it with wind and other pressure moments. A great new invention. That way we can have another delay and more Grade 1 charges! Grade 1 hair pulls, sirens...


Dumb Rugby League Ideas - Face Slaps. Is there much difference between an angry open hand slap to the face - and an open palm fend to the face?


6. Marsh Cup. Of course it is called this in tribute to Justin Langer. Khawaja a ton. The women's T20 saw two stunning performances...Beth Mooney 113 off 61 and Athapaththu 113 off 66 balls. Good going in anyone's book.